In Sermon Illustrations: "Pastor Humor"

A Spotlight And A Laser Beam  PRO

Contributed by A. Todd Coget on Dec 30, 2003

[illustration] Have you ever wondered what makes the difference between a spotlight and a laser beam? How can a medium-powered laser burn through steel in a matter of seconds, while the most powerful spotlight can only make it warm? Both may have the same electrical power requirements. The ...read more

Scripture: John 17:11

Tags: Unity, Backward, Fear, Forward, Humor  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Save My Boot!

Contributed by James Dorman on May 11, 2017

As an elementary age kid I received a present which made my life complete. I finally had my very own set of cowboy boots! I was so proud of them, I would have slept in them if my mom would have allowed it. I have 2 cousins who were born the same year as me. When our families got together, ...read more

Scripture: 2 Timothy 1:6-7

Tags: Faith, Fear, Faith General, Humorous

Denomination: Baptist

Mowing Your Yard In The Midst Of A Flood!

Contributed by Garris Hudson on Jan 15, 2020

Glen and Jo Ann live in Orange County, California in a low lying area. It flooded one year and the local newspaper sent a reporter in a boat out to Glen and Jo Ann’s neighborhood. The reporter found Jo Ann, sitting on their roof watching large objects floating by, so he climbed up on the roof to ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 6:33

Tags: Humor, Priorities, Seeking The Kingdom First

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Junk Is A Matter Of Personal Definition

Contributed by James Snyder on Oct 10, 2020

I thought I had everything organized and in order. It just shows how useless my thinking is these days. There are many piles in my office and on my desk, and I know what is in each pile. Everything is organized to my specifications. My rule is: if I can't find something, I don't need it. ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 16:3

Tags: Work, Humor, Planning, Office Space

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Funny Marriage Proposal

Contributed by Garris Hudson on Jan 4, 2021

FUNNY LOVE STORY Ruth Chudrow stated that she met her husband “while I was working in a science library. He came in every week to read the latest journals and eventually decided to take out the librarian instead of the books. After a year and a half of dating, he showed up at the library and ...read more

Tags: Love, Marriage, Humor, Weddings, Proposals  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

The Bible Makes A Difference!

Contributed by Garris Hudson on Jan 4, 2021

The story is told of a South Sea Islander who proudly displayed his Bible to a G.I. during WW II. He had received it as a present from a missionary some time before. The soldier said, “Oh, we’ve outgrown that sort of thing like the Bible.” The native. who had been a Cannibal before he was ...read more

Scripture: 2 Timothy 3:16-17, 2 Timothy 4:1-3

Tags: Bible, Humor, Miracles, Missionaries, Scriptures  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Well, Here We Go Again

Contributed by James Snyder on Jan 9, 2021

I have lived long enough to know that the only change that has any kind of reality is the change in my pocket. I keep track of that change with great supervision and count it every day. When people tell me that this is a New Year and there will be a lot of changes this year, I search my pocket ...read more

Scripture: Ecclesiastes 1:9

Tags: Old, Humor, Change, New Year

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Ants, Ants, Ants, Where's The Uncles

Contributed by James Snyder on Mar 27, 2021

I have learned in my life that the small things are the ones that get you down. You would think the big things are the ones to steal most of your time. But those big things call attention to themselves from the very beginning. You know they're there, you know you have to do something about it, ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 30:25

Tags: Humor, Ants, Small Problems, Uncles

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Two Men And A Truck

Contributed by Loyd C. Taylor on Sep 3, 2023

I reworked this old joke and used two of my men. Always ask the permission of those you intend to us, since we know some are thin-skinned. I hope it will put a smile on your lips. HUMOR: Two Men and a Truck Ottis and Carolyn just got settled in his new house this past year. Ottis wanted to do a ...read more

Scripture: Colossians 3:23

Tags: Humor, Labor Day, Laughter, Projects

Denomination: Baptist

A Funnnnnnnnny Thanksgiving Story!

Contributed by Garris Hudson on Nov 15, 2023

Two men were walking through a field one day when they spotted an angry old bull who wanted them out of his pasture. Instantly, they darted toward the nearest fence. The storming bull followed in hot pursuit and it was soon apparent that they wouldn't make it. Terrified, one man shouted to ...read more

Tags: Fear, Thanksgiving, Prayer, Humor, Gratitude  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Once Shaved, Always Shaved!!!

Contributed by Garris Hudson on Oct 23, 2022

After twenty years of shaving himself every morning, a man in a small southern town decided he had been doing that long enough. He told his wife that from then on he’d let the local barber shave him each day.The man went to the barbershop which was owned by the pastor of the local Baptist church. ...read more

Scripture: Romans 8:28-39, 1 John 5:10-13

Tags: Grace, Salvation, Humor, Eternal Security, Jokes  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

If I Have Seen Everything....  PRO

Contributed by Garris Hudson on Feb 23, 2016

IF I HAVE SEEN EVERYTHING.... Evangelist Jack Taylor was alone in his hotel room in Houston, Texas after a Southern Baptist Convention meeting. He felt exhausted in ministry. He cried out to God in prayer, "Lord, if I have seen everything You have for me in my ministry.......then take my life ...read more

Scripture: John 15:1-5

Tags: Pastoral Ministry, Total Surrender, Burnt Out

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

The Purpose Of Preaching

Contributed by Garris Hudson on Jan 25, 2021

Warren Wiersbe, "Preaching must be marked by three elements: conviction, warning, and appeal ("reprove, rebuke, exhort"). To quote an old rule of preachers, "He should afflict the comfortable and comfort the afflicted." If there is conviction but no remedy, we add to ...read more

Scripture: 2 Timothy 3:16-17, 2 Timothy 4:1-3

Tags: Comfort, Preaching, Pastors, Conviction, The Word Of God  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

A Divided House Makes A Happy Home

Contributed by James Snyder on Feb 6, 2021

Never has our world been more divided than today. Politics, religion, sports and on and on I could go. For the most part, so many people think being divided is a negative thing. And for many people it is. However, after being married to the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage for almost 50 years, I ...read more

Scripture: Amos 3:3

Tags: Happy Home, Pastor Cave, Divided Home

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Mom Is The Best Preacher In The Family!

Contributed by Garris Hudson on Apr 19, 2022

Dr. G. Campbell Morgan had 4 sons and they were all preachers. Someone once came into the living room when all the family was there. They thought they would see what Howard, one of the sons, was made of so they asked him this question: "Howard, who is the greatest preacher in your ...read more

Tags: Children, Mother's Day, Pastors, Mother, Preachers  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

The People Are Hungry...

Contributed by Garris Hudson on Nov 6, 2022

The people are hungry, and the empty religionist offers them some ceremony or empty words that can never satisfy. The people are hungry, and the atheists and skeptics try to convince them that they aren’t hungry at all. The people are hungry, and the religious showman gives them video and special ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 14:13-21

Tags: Ministry, Sheep, Pastors, Spiritual Hunger, Shepherds  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Funny Tithing Joke!

Contributed by Garris Hudson on Dec 4, 2022

When two successful businessman went sailing, a freak storm wrecked their boat and left them marooned on a deserted island. By the third day, one of the men was pacing constantly. The other man reclined peacefully on the sand. "Aren't you afraid we are going to die?" cried the ...read more

Tags: Church, Giving, Stewardship, Finances, Pastors, Tithing  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

There Goes God's Dollar!

Contributed by Garris Hudson on Dec 4, 2022

A young boy was invited to church by one of his friends. On the way out the door, his mother handed him two dollars. Then she said, "There is one for you and for God when they pass the offering plate!" As the boy walked along with his friend, the wind blew one of the dollars right out ...read more

Tags: Money, Church, Giving, Stewardship, Pastors, Tithing  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Are You In The Secret Service?

Contributed by Garris Hudson on Jul 2, 2023

A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside. The Pastor said to him, “You need to join the Army of the Lord!” My friend replied, “I’m already in the Army ...read more

Scripture: Hebrews 10:25

Tags: Faithfulness, Pastors, Attendance, Service, Church, Worship  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Texas Longhorn Sermons

Contributed by Garris Hudson on Oct 16, 2023

Being from Dallas, Texas, I am pretty used to seeing the Texas Longhorns football games and also driving in the huge Texas countryside and seeing the big Texas Longhorn bulls in large, open pastures. But did you know that some pastors actually preach Texas Longhorn sermons? What is that?? A ...read more

Tags: Pastors, Texas, Jokes, Sermons, Teaching, Preaching  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational