Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Jun 22, 2010
based on 2 ratings
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CARD-CARRYING AUTHORITY
A Department of Water Resources representative stops at a Texas ranch and talks with an old rancher. He tells the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for your water allocation."
The old rancher says, "Okay, but don't go in that field over there."
The Water
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Independent/Bible
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John MacArthur states this about our text and the Bible:
"Now let me make it as clear as I can to you. The Old Testament is not a collection of the wisdom of ancient men. The Old Testament is not a collection of the best of religious thinking. The Old Testament is not a collection of the good
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Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Noel Atkinson on Oct 17, 2010
A journalist was assigned to the Jerusalem bureau of his newspaper. He gets an apartment overlooking the Wailing Wall. After several weeks he realizes that whenever he looks at the wall he sees an old Jewish man praying vigorously.
The journalist wondered whether there was a
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Baptist
A small boy was talking with his mother and said, "How old do I have to be to stay up late on a school night?"
His mother replied, "About eighteen."
"Oh good!" the boy said. "I'm old enough now!"
"How do you figure that? Mom said. "Last time I checked, you were only eleven."
"Well," the boy
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Church Of God
Contributed by Kenneth Henes on Jun 23, 2004
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On the shore of beautiful Lake Como, nestled in the Italian Alps, is a lovely old villa, perhaps two or three hundred years old. For years the grounds have been immaculately kept by a trusted old gardener. One day some tourists were complimenting him on his work. “The owner must come here
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Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Sermon Central on Feb 26, 2007
(Illustration) President Eisenhower told this tale, "An old farmer had a cow that we wanted to buy. We went over to visit him and asked about the cow’s pedigree. The old farmer did not know what ’pedigree’ meant, so we asked him about the cow’s butterfat production. He told us that he did not have
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Contributed by Sermon Central on May 9, 2002
based on 17 ratings
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THE GOLDEN RULE OF FAMILY
One of Grimm’s fairy tales tells of an old man who lived with his son, the son’s wife, and the young couple’s four-year-old boy. The old man’s eyes blinked, and his hands shook. When he ate, the silverware rattled against the plate, and he often missed his mouth. Then
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Contributed by Fred Sigle on Nov 9, 2006
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Mark Twain advised that when a child reaches 13 years of age, a parent should place the child in a BARREL, NAIL the LID shut, and FEED the teenager through a KNOT HOLE. And when the child turns 16 years-old . . . PLUG the HOLE!
Of course, Mark Twain was also the one who
wrote, “When I was 18
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Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 12, 2007
based on 2 ratings
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"This great round world, on which we live, is very old, so old that no one knows when it was made. But long before there was any earth, or sun, or stars, God
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THE GLORY OF AGING
A woman nearly 100 years old wrote:
This old shell in which I dwell
Is growing old, I know full well,
But I am not the shell.
What if my hair is turning gray,
Gray hair is honorable, they say.
What if my sight is growing dim,
I still can see to follow Him.
What should I care
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Independent/Bible
Contributed by Curry Pikkaart on Jan 31, 2010
In her book “Smoke on the Mountain”, Joy Davidson told of a missionary in a dark corner of Africa where the men had a habit of filing their teeth to sharp points. The missionary was working hard at trying to convert an old native chief. This missionary was very much Old Testament in his approach,
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Presbyterian/Reformed
There was a group of tourists who were visiting a picturesque village and came upon an old man sitting beside a fence. In a rather patronizing way, one of the tourist asked, “Were any great men
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Evangelical/Non-Denominational
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