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In Sermon Illustrations: "Not Funny"

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  • Afraid Of The Grave  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Mar 24, 2011
    based on 2 ratings
     | 5,609 views

    AFRAID OF THE GRAVE Cemeteries can be spooky places. I heard a funny story about a guy in Scotland we'll call Ian McGregor. After a long evening in the pub, Ian took a shortcut to his house that took him through a dark cemetery. He accidentally fell into a freshly dug grave. Ian tried to climb ...read more

  • Faith In The Colombian Jungle

    Contributed by Alison Bucklin on Aug 10, 2011
     | 2,342 views

    FAITH IN THE COLOMBIAN JUNGLE A man named Bruce Olson went to Colombia many years ago as a missionary to the headhunters in the far southern jungle, near the border with Brazil. The book that tells his story is Bruchko, the name the Indians called him since they couldn't wrap their tongues around ...read more

  • I'm That Clown!

    Contributed by Garris Hudson on Mar 1, 2016
     | 8,094 views

    I’M THAT CLOWN It is said that in a great city there was a physician famous for his wisdom. A man came to him one day and said, "Doctor, I want you to see what is wrong with me." The doctor checked him over and said, "Your heart is all right. Your lungs are all right. Your blood pressure is ...read more

  • I Remember A Young Couple, They Joyfully ...

    Contributed by Terry Cavanaugh on May 10, 2008
     | 1,137 views

    I remember a young couple, they joyfully discovered, after years of trying, they were going to have a baby. However, they were both perfectionists They did what a lot of expectant parents do, they purchased books on how to raise a child. But they went over board. They read every book they could ...read more

  • Pruning With A Purpose  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Feb 18, 2004
    based on 3 ratings
     | 8,870 views

    PRUNING WITH A PURPOSE I have a lilac tree in my back yard – beautiful white flowers. Well I decided it needed a little bit of pruning, so I got out some cutters and – well, the truth is I hacked it up. I didn’t really know what I was doing, but it had overgrown my clothes-line and needed to be ...read more

  • In The Movie "Life Is Beautiful" - Nominated In ...

    Contributed by John Tung on Apr 10, 2007
     | 2,011 views

    In the movie “Life Is Beautiful” - nominated in 1998 as Best Picture for the Oscars - the main character Guido is placed in a concentration camp by the Nazis. Guido and his son, who is with him, pretend for his son that this horrible place is a game, with rules, so that his son doesn’t get too ...read more

  • I Love Baptisms. I Always Love It When People ...

    Contributed by Ross Cochrane on Dec 27, 2009
     | 1,187 views

    I love Baptisms. I always love it when people respond to Jesus in this way. I remember as a TEENAGER seeing people from our YOUTH GROUP being BAPTISED in a BAPTISMAL POOL at the FRONT of our Church. It was so STRANGE to me. I watched as people WALKED DOWN THE STEPS of a SMALL POOL at ...read more

  • Faith Like A Llama

    Contributed by Johnny A. Palmer Jr. on Dec 8, 2011
     | 3,194 views

    FAITH LIKE A LLAMA Reports the Denver Post: A sheep ranchers in the West, Lexy Lowler has tried just about everything to stop crafty coyotes from killing her sheep. She has used odor sprays, electric fences, and "scare-coyotes." She has slept with her lambs during the summer and has placed ...read more

  • Stopping To Focus

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Mar 28, 2022
     | 2,689 views

    Have you ever wondered why a pigeon walks so funny? According to an interesting article in the Detroit Free Press, a pigeon walks the way it does so it can’t see where it’s going. Because it can’t adjust its focus as it moves, the pigeon actually has to bring its head to a complete stop between ...read more

  • Ernest Hemmingway Was Once Asked To Write A Story ...  PRO

    Contributed by W F on Jul 8, 2008
    based on 2 ratings
     | 3,363 views

    Ernest Hemmingway was once asked to write a story in just six words. He wrote a sad one ... "For sale: Baby shoes. Never worn." The world's shortest story inspired writer Larry Smith who wondered what memoirs people might be able to concoct in just six words. So he began a website which, to date, ...read more

  • No More Spit In Soup!

    Contributed by Garris Hudson on Feb 27, 2023
    based on 1 rating
     | 1,722 views

    During WWII, a military unit in the Pacific hired a local boy to cook and clean for them. Being a bunch of jokesters, they quickly took advantage of the boy’s seeming naiveté. They smeared Vaseline on the stove handles so it would get all over his hands. They put buckets of water over the door ...read more

  • The Carnival Ride

    Contributed by Paul Steen on Dec 9, 2017
    based on 1 rating
     | 3,557 views

    Some years ago, while our family was vacationing in the high Sierras, we decided to visit a small county fair near the town of Quincy. There weren't many people there that morning. In fact, we were about the only ones visiting the carnival rides. So when I climbed into the Tilt-O-Wheel with my ...read more

  • There Was Apparently A Middle School In Oregon ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Feb 26, 2007
     | 2,022 views

    There was apparently a middle school in Oregon that faced a unique problem. Kind of a funny problem, actually. The custodian was constantly cleaning lipstick off the mirror in the girls’ bathroom. It was a middle school, and many of the girls were just starting to use lipstick. So they’d go into ...read more

  • Reports The Denver Post: "Like Many Sheep ...  PRO

    Contributed by David Selleck on Nov 17, 2005
    based on 2 ratings
     | 2,504 views

    Reports the DENVER POST: "Like many sheep ranchers in the West, Lexy Fowler has tried just about everything to stop crafty coyotes from killing her sheep. She has used odor sprays, electric fences, and ’scare-coyotes.’ She has slept with her lambs during the summer and has placed battery-operated ...read more

  • Humorous ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Aug 5, 2010
    based on 1 rating
     | 14,689 views

    Humorous Quotes Here are some final words of wisdom: Anybody who sleeps like a baby doesn’t have one. At my age, I’ve seen it all, heard it all, and done it all, but now, I just can’t seem to remember it all. He who laughs last ... thinks the slowest. The early bird gets the worm, but the ...read more

  • I Know You've Heard The Passage Time And Time ...

    Contributed by Kyle Blanton on May 14, 2007
     | 1,458 views

    I know you’ve heard the passage time and time again. 6 Teach a youth about the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it. Psalm 22:6 My mother never missed a beat. There was a time when my dad resigned from the pastorate when we lived in Illinois that he took to the road ...read more

  • A Couple Of Years Ago, The Boston Red Sox Won ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
     | 3,332 views

    A couple of years ago, the Boston Red Sox won their first World Series in 87 years. It was funny listening to all the stories the next day on Sports Talk radio stations, as they had people from all around the country, telling of how long they, and their parents and grandparents had waited for that ...read more

  • Something Goes Wrong In Just About Every Wedding. ...  PRO

    Contributed by K. Edward Skidmore on Apr 9, 2008
    based on 2 ratings
     | 2,830 views

    Something goes wrong in just about every wedding. Most of the time it seems funny (…at least later on.) I’ve officiated at a lot of weddings, but there’s one I’ll never forget. It was not anyone associated with our church, but this couple wanted to use our old sanctuary, and I agreed to marry ...read more

  • What Is A Grandmother? By A Third Grader  PRO

    Contributed by Jan Spencer on Mar 19, 2002
    based on 13 ratings
     | 3,476 views

    What is a Grandmother? By a Third Grader A grandmother is a lady who has no children of her own. She likes other people’s little girls and boys. A grandfather is a man grandmother. He goes for walks with boys, and they talk about fishing and stuff like that. Grandmothers don’t have to do ...read more

  • The Valentine's Day Ten Commandments  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 6, 2002
    based on 18 ratings
     | 6,766 views

    THE VALENTINE’S DAY TEN COMMANDMENTS I. I am thy Main Squeeze; thou shalt have no other squeeze before me. II. Thou shalt not take the name of thy Squeeze in vain, nor badmouth him/her behind him/her back. III. Remember our Anniversary, and keep it holy--or else. IV. Honor MY mother and ...read more