In Sermon Illustrations: "Me"

Regarding The Baptism Of The Ethiopian ...

Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Jul 27, 2009

(Regarding the Baptism of the Ethiopian Eunuch) "Note also that baptism is by immersion: they came up out of the water. Otherwise, the Ethiopian could have just opened his canteen (goatskin) ...read more

Tags: Baptism

Denomination: Independent/Bible

Jamie- God How Long Is A Million Years To ...

Contributed by Samuel Fulkerson on Aug 23, 2012

Jamie- God how long is a million years to you? God- it is but a second Jamie. Jamie- God how much is a million dollars to you? God- it is but a penny to ...read more

Tags: Humor

Denomination: Pentecostal

Couples Communication

Contributed by John Bright on Feb 16, 2025

A married couple were having an argument that kept going longer and longer. The wife looked at her husband and said, “Tell me, Dear, do you want to win or do ...read more

Scripture: 1 Peter 3:1-7

Tags: Lose, Argument, Win

Denomination: Methodist

The Coolest Dad In The Universe  PRO

Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 16, 2001

THE COOLEST DAD IN THE UNIVERSE He was 50 years old when I was born, and a "Mr. Mom" long before anyone had a name for it. I didn’t know why he was home instead of Mom, but I was young and the only one of my friends who had their dad around. I considered myself very lucky. Dad did so many things ...read more

Tags: Father's Day, Parenting

That Is Nifty!" Psalms 66: 1-20 Key Verse(S): 3 ...  PRO

Contributed by Sermon Central on Mar 17, 2004

“That IS Nifty!” Psalms 66: 1-20 Key verse(s): 3 “Say to God, ‘How awesome are your deeds! So great is your power that your enemies cringe before you.” “The greatest single distinguishing feature of the omnipotence of God is that our imagination gets lost when thinking about it” –– Blaise ...read more

Scripture: 1 Corinthians 15:3-4

Tags: Glorify, God's Omnipotence

No Finger, No Teeth, But Fully Human!" 2 Kings ...  PRO

Contributed by Mark Brunner on Apr 6, 2005

“No Finger, No Teeth, But Fully Human!” 2 Kings 4:32-36 Key verse(s) 32-33:“When Elisha reached the house, there was the boy lying dead on his couch. He went in, shut the door on the two of them and prayed to the Lord.” He was very short, and at a distance he presented an almost comical ...read more

Scripture: 2 Kings 4:32-36

Tags: Poverty, Love, God In The Hardships, Workplace Unemployment

Denomination: Lutheran

Musician Learns A Lesson By Following A Band ...

Contributed by Sermon Central on Feb 1, 2010

Musician Learns a Lesson by Following A Band Director’s Advice I would like to begin by sharing with you today an event in my life that at the time felt like the worst thing that had ever happened to me, but which in retrospect has proven to be a significant and defining point of my life. This ...read more

Scripture: 1 Peter 4:10

From One Turkey To Another

Contributed by James Snyder on Nov 23, 2019

As a child, my favorite holiday was Christmas, second only to my birthday. These holidays were important because of the gifts I received. Oh, did I look forward to those holidays and all the presents I was going to delight in. And delight, I certainly did to the extreme. Then slowly things ...read more

Scripture: 1 Peter 3:10

Tags: Thanksgiving, Hoiliday

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

To One It’s Monday To Another It’s Wednesday

Contributed by James Snyder on Jan 11, 2020

Time goes so fast at times that I do not always remember what day it is. I get so busy trying to get my work done that I forget if it’s Monday or Friday. It is a good thing I am getting older because I have a built-in excuse for forgetting what day it is. Recently, the Gracious Mistress of the ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 15:13

Tags: Happiness, Joy

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Tell Santa I Tried To Be Nice

Contributed by James Snyder on Dec 19, 2020

It’s that time of the year when the conversation around the dinner table in the Parsonage has to do with naughty or nice. I must admit it's not my favorite conversation because what is naughty, and what is nice? That all depends on who you're talking to. The Gracious Mistress of the ...read more

Scripture: 1 John 1:7

Tags: Christmas, Nice, Naughty

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

A Shortcut Is Not Always That Short

Contributed by James Snyder on May 1, 2021

I have always appreciated shortcuts in life. If I can find a shortcut, I will take it because time is valuable to me. I take pride in coming up with a shortcut that actually saves me time. However, not all of my shortcuts have really been that short and I have paid the price. Last week, for ...read more

Scripture: Psalm 32:8

Tags: Humor, Shortcut, Wrong Way

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Who Doesn’t Like A Girl Scout Cookie?

Contributed by James Snyder on May 8, 2021

This week the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage made a little slip. To her, it was a little slip, but to me, it was a big mistake. It is not always that she makes mistakes that I can profit on. I don't make this public, especially within her earshot, but there are times that she makes a ...read more

Scripture: Psalm 37:4

Tags: Diet, Girl Scouts

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

I May Be A Knucklehead, But I'm Not Insane

Contributed by James Snyder on May 15, 2021

Nobody is perfect except maybe the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage comes close. I've never caught her in some imperfection, or if I had, nobody would know it from me. There is such an obsession today for people to be perfect. And, of course, their definition of perfect is what they are. ...read more

Scripture: Amos 3:3

Tags: Humor, Family, Agreement

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Are You Ready For Fall?

Contributed by James Snyder on Sep 11, 2021

With such a tumultuous summer, I’m glad we are now beginning the fall season. There for a while, I didn’t think it was going to come. But, contrary to my negativity, it has arrived, and I’m delighted. Summer wasn’t quite the way summers have been in the past. My family didn’t have many ...read more

Scripture: Ecclesiastes 3:1

Tags: Humor, Blessings, Seasons

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

I Don’t Believe In Karma

Contributed by James Snyder on Oct 2, 2021

Some people believe in karma, but I don’t. Some people believe what you do will come back on you some way or the other. I do believe that everything you do does have consequences. Sometimes those consequences are small and insignificant and sometimes rather large and unbearing. Recently, my truck ...read more

Scripture: Galatians 6:7

Tags: Reaping, Karma, Sowing

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

And Then, There It Was

Contributed by James Snyder on May 7, 2022

In getting older, I have discovered, I pay a little more attention to my dietary habits. Or, maybe I should say, The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage pays more attention to my dietary habits. As we get older, she is more obsessed with vegetables than anything else. But, for the life of me, I ...read more

Scripture: Luke 6:38

Tags: Unity, Cooperation, Cookies

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

An Apple Fritter On My Mind

Contributed by James Snyder on Jul 2, 2022

The last few weeks have been rather hectic, and I’ve struggled to keep up with everything. If it weren’t for The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage, I probably would not have gotten where I am today. I don’t know anybody who can plan out a day, week, or month better than her. She has everything ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 25:21

Tags: Stress, Humor

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

To Ask Or Not Ask Is No Option

Contributed by James Snyder on Jul 23, 2022

You would think I would have learned all I needed to learn at my age. However, each day I learn something I did not know the day before. So much of my new learning is still connected to being married to The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage. I know, for example, that she is not soliciting ...read more

Scripture: 1 John 5:14

Tags: Harmony, Questions

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Who’s The Clown Now?

Contributed by James Snyder on Nov 5, 2022

As a young person, I was fascinated with clowns. My first encounter was at a circus I attended with my family. The main character in the circus was the clown. When I first saw those clowns, I was scared almost to death. I've never seen anything as scary as those circus clowns. That began my ...read more

Scripture: James 1:19-20

Tags: Humor, Clowns, Circus

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

If I’m Not Crazy Nobody Is

Contributed by James Snyder on Feb 18, 2023

Last Sunday, we were driving to our Sunday morning church service and encountered a lot of crazy drivers. As The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage was driving, I kept my cool and, more importantly, my mouth closed. Every once in a while, she would say, “What’s wrong with these crazy drivers?” I ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 3:5-6

Tags: Crazy, Drivers, Apple Fritter

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance