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In Sermon Illustrations: "jokes"

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  • Income Tax  PRO

    Contributed by Ted Sutherland on Apr 3, 2001
    based on 159 ratings
     | 3,116 views

    From Reader’s Digest: It’s time to pay my income tax And, brother, that’s no joke. For after paying IRS I find that I R broke! —Jerry Henderson in Lubbock, Texas, Avalanche-Journal As April 15 draweth nigh, My spirits start to droop. A poor, downtrodden slave am I, In short, an income ...read more

  • This Week My Brother-In-Law, Bob, And His Family ...

    Contributed by K. Edward Skidmore on Oct 11, 2007
     | 1,410 views

    This week my brother-in-law, Bob, and his family stopped by to see us on their way to South Padre. They were full of enthusiasm as they looked forward to getting away from the grind. Four days later they stopped by again on their way back to San Angelo. The funny thing is, they looked worn out. ...read more

  • I Always Tell Couples That I Marry About The ...

    Contributed by Mark Eberly on Sep 4, 2008
     | 870 views

    I always tell couples that I marry about the 50/50 principle of marriage. True or false. Marriage is a 50/50 proposition. Each partner brings their half to make a whole. It’s false of course. It is 100/100. In relationships, two halves don’t make a whole. We joke about our better half. But in ...read more

  • Mistletoe Mystery

    Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Feb 3, 2024
     | 390 views

    The myth: Mistletoe will bring you good luck. Remember that old joke? If athletes get athlete’s foot, what do astronauts get? Missile toe! Mistletoe is an odd plant: it is a parasite that grows atop tree or shrub branches. The association of good luck with mistletoe goes back centuries. The idea ...read more

  • I'm Amused By The Story Of The Boy Who Was ...  PRO

    Contributed by Evie Megginson on Mar 21, 2001
    based on 85 ratings
     | 2,776 views

    I’m amused by the story of the boy who was fishing on a stream when a group of teenagers arrived on the scene with their rods and reels and fancy flies. They thrashed the water as they joked and laughed casting and reeling in repeatedly but catching nothing. The boy sat intently watching the tip of ...read more

  • When Abraham Lincoln Was A Boy He Husked Corn For ...  PRO

    Contributed by Jonathan Lucas on May 11, 2001
    based on 74 ratings
     | 3,577 views

    When Abraham Lincoln was a boy he husked corn for three days to pay for a second-hand copy of “The Life of Washington.” After he had read the book he said, “I don’t always intend to delve, grub, shuck corn, split rails, and the like.” “What do you want to be now?” asked Mrs. Crawford. “I’ll be ...read more

  • Fredrick The Great Of Germany, Was A Scoffer, But ...  PRO

    Contributed by Bruce Howell on May 30, 2002
    based on 2 ratings
     | 2,612 views

    Fredrick the Great of Germany, was a scoffer, but his great general, Von Zealand, was a devout Christian. One day at a gathering, the king was making coarse jokes about Jesus and the whole place was ringing with laughter. Von Zealand arose stiffly and said, “Your majesty, you know I have not ...read more

  • Lying Is So Ingrained In Our Culture That We've ...

    Contributed by Darren Mccormick on Feb 26, 2008
     | 2,869 views

    Lying is so ingrained in our culture that we’ve come to joke about some of the more common lies. Doug Mushrow has written an article titled “19 Great American Lies.” Here are a few of the classics: [SLIDE] 1. The check is in the mail… [SLIDE] 2. Your table will be ready in a few ...read more

  • Nelson Mandela Was Recently Interviewed On Oprah. ...

    Contributed by Philip Cairns on Feb 1, 2002
     | 2,010 views

    Nelson Mandela was recently interviewed on Oprah. It was a great interview. Oprah asked him the question - "What was the #1 reason for your success - keeping sane in prison, remaining humble as a leader?" Mandela’s answer was strong and unequivocal - the most important thing, much more important ...read more

  • Cured  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on May 11, 2002
    based on 7 ratings
     | 4,245 views

    CURED A woman went to her doctor’s office. She was seen by one of the new doctors, but after about 4 minutes in the examination room, she burst out screaming and ran down the hall. An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she explained. He had her sit down and relax in ...read more

  • Years Ago New Engineers In The Lamp Division Of ...

    Contributed by Mark Brunner on Feb 6, 2006
    based on 1 rating
     | 3,129 views

    Years ago new engineers in the Lamp Division of General Electric were assigned, as a joke, the impossible task of frosting light bulbs on the inside. None of the engineers took the assignment seriously since frosting a bulb on the inside was not a possibility by engineering standards. Eventually, ...read more

  • Golf Beginner  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jan 12, 2003
    based on 2 ratings
     | 2,301 views

    *Golf Beginner* A retiree was given a set of golf clubs by his co-workers. Thinking he’d try the game, he asked the local pro for lessons, explaining that he knew nothing whatever of the game. The pro showed him the stance and swing, then said "Just hit the ball toward the flag on the first ...read more

  • During One Of His Political Campaigns, A ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
     | 1,413 views

    During one of his political campaigns, a delegation called on Theodore Roosevelt at his home in Oyster Bay, Long Island. The President met them with his coat off and his sleeves rolled up. "Ah, gentlemen," he said, "come down to the barn and we will talk while I do some work." At the barn, ...read more

  • The General Took His Stand

    Contributed by Bruce Howell on Jan 23, 2008
    based on 1 rating
     | 2,149 views

    Illus.: “The General Took His Stand” Fredrick the Great of Germany, was a scoffer, but his great general, Von Zealand, was a devout Christian. One day at a gathering, the king was making coarse jokes about Jesus and the whole palace was ringing with laughter. Von Zealand arose stiffly and said, ...read more

  • The General Took His Stand  PRO

    Contributed by Bruce Howell on Jan 23, 2008
    based on 3 ratings
     | 3,473 views

    Illus.: “The General Took His Stand” Fredrick the Great of Germany, was a scoffer, but his great general, Von Zealand, was a devout Christian. One day at a gathering, the king was making coarse jokes about Jesus and the whole palace was ringing with laughter. Von Zealand arose stiffly and said, ...read more

  • Wailing And Laughing  PRO

    Contributed by Ovidiu Radulescu on May 26, 2009
    based on 2 ratings
     | 2,460 views

    WAILING AND LAUGHING Now, you may realize that in those days in Middle-Eastern custom, people usually wailed loudly at funerals. I grew up in a Greek Orthodox country and until today the custom requires a loud and visible weep for the dead. Can you imagine how perplexed I was when I watched people ...read more

  • The Use Of God's Gifts

    Contributed by Sean Harder on Dec 9, 2009
     | 2,435 views

    THE USE OF GOD'S GIFTS How much did Jerry Jones, the owner of the Dallas Cowboys spend on the New Texas Stadium? 1.15 billion dollars. They joke that there is a hole in the top of the stadium so that God can watch his favorite team play. I’m not so sure Mr. Jones doesn’t believe that. We look at ...read more

  • Right Under His Nose  PRO

    Contributed by Derrick Tuper on Jun 11, 2010
    based on 2 ratings
     | 3,008 views

    RIGHT UNDER HIS NOSE Sometimes we probably feel like the man whose grandchildren played a practical joke on him. Each afternoon, Grandpa would lie down for a nap. One day, the kids decided to put limburger cheese in his moustache. Quite soon afterward, he awoke sniffing. "This room stinks," he ...read more

  • The Public Scavenger

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Mar 21, 2011
    based on 2 ratings
     | 2,067 views

    THE PUBLIC SCAVENGER A long time ago in Greece, some politicians decided to play a joke on a fellow politician in their group. They got him appointed to the post of Public Scavenger. It was a dirty, lowly post. But instead of being humiliated, the man decided he would show everybody what he could ...read more

  • Josh Mcdowell On Why People Refuse To ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Aug 4, 2012
     | 3,556 views

    JOSH MCDOWELL ON WHY PEOPLE REFUSE TO BELIEVE Josh McDowell writes, “People refuse to believe that which they don’t want to believe, in spite of evidence. When explorers first went to Australia they found a mammal which laid eggs; spent some time in water, some on land; had a broad, flat tail, ...read more