Contributed by Tim Harlow on May 13, 2009
WHAT HE HEARD HIS WIFE SAY, "You’re way too stupid to be trusted driving alone in bad weather at your age."
WHAT SHE ACTUALLY SAID, "Drive carefully, dear."
WHAT HE HEARD HIS WIFE SAY, "Honey, why don’t you put your head in a vice and I’ll turn the handle until your skull explodes."
WHAT SHE
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Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Thomas Cash on Dec 10, 2009
A Roman census and taxing forced the town of Bethlehem to burst at its seams. Neither the locals nor the visitors would have been very happy about the decree. Tempers were short, words were spoken in anger, people were taken advantage of, and rooms were at a premium. Mary was obviously in labor
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Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Dale Pilgrim on Mar 28, 2010
"Take the silver with you” (verse 25) more accurately translated really means, “bind the money in your hand”. E.g. – Have you ever put that tithe on the dresser, to get it ready for Sunday but somehow when Sunday came you had used the money for a need that popped up? You reason, “I’ll make it up
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Salvation Army
Mom-isms from Biblical moms:
a. There has been some commonality through the years when it comes to motherhood let’s look at just a few Bible mom’s and imagine what they had to deal with and how they handled raising their children.
ILL Notebook: Mother (Great Sayings of Biblical Mothers). In fact,
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Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Gordon Curley on Nov 22, 2010
based on 11 ratings
| 6,749 views
MOODY'S SERVANT'S HEART
A large group of European pastors came to one of D. L. Moody’s Northfield Bible Conferences in Massachusetts in the late 1800s. Following the European custom of the time, each guest put his shoes outside his room to be cleaned by the hall servants overnight. But of course
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Brethren
Contributed by Brad Henry on Jul 29, 2011
based on 1 rating
| 6,041 views
PRIDE AT THE DONUT SHOP
I was living in Phoenix at the time and on my way to work I stopped at a Dunkin Donuts drive through. I said to the woman at the window, "I'll have 3 cake donuts and a cup of coffee."
She started mumbling something that I couldn't hear. I thought she may be able to hear me
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Contributed by Tim Smith on Oct 8, 2011
ARTHUR'S ENVY
When I served on staff at Rayne Memorial UMC on St. Charles Avenue, a young man named Arthur began attending. Arthur was a nice guy but was different, both in appearance and in personality. Arthur got involved in the young adult ministry I had started at the church and was accepted
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Methodist
Contributed by Bret Toman on Dec 22, 2011
Anibal sat in a Brazilian jail cell, guilty of murder. He was a weightlifter, with bulging biceps, a leathery face and a tattoo of an anchor on his forearm that seemed to symbolize his personality. But he appeared to soften as the preacher talked with him about guilt, forgiveness, a God who knew
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Baptist
based on 2 ratings
| 1,348 views
If you have not realized it yet, over time you are going to forget some things. I think of the two older men that were playing golf. One had trouble seeing and other had trouble remembering. The one with a seeing problem said to the other, "Now, watch my ball, for I can’t see where it
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Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Troy Borst on Jan 23, 2001
based on 71 ratings
| 3,813 views
ILLUSTRATION…the foxhole Christian
“’There are no atheists in foxholes,’ wrote William T. Cummings in 1942. ‘While crouched in a trench with bullets zinging overhead, even the most reluctant heart begins to bargain with God- just in case He might exist. ‘God if you only get me out of this alive,
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Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Mark Beaird on Nov 3, 2000
based on 160 ratings
| 2,606 views
In the December 4, 1989 issue of Newsweek magazine, there was an article about a little known mental disorder called erotomania. It is a mental illness in which a person has the delusion that he or she is the object of someone’s love. Some imagine love affairs that continue for years, yet it all
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Pentecostal
Contributed by Robert Leroe on Jul 7, 2002
based on 4 ratings
| 2,064 views
I was having a disagreement with my commander one day over a policy issue. Believing God can change people’s minds, I smiled and said, “Sir—I guess I’ll have to go over your head…and pray about this.” He replied, “Chaplain—no fair!” (I reminded him that he could
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Congregational
Contributed by Davon Huss on Mar 10, 2003
based on 3 ratings
| 8,217 views
On her 60th birthday, a woman from Brooklyn decided to prepare her last will and testament. She went to her rabbi to make two final requests: First, she insisted on cremation. “What is your second request?” the rabbi asked. “I want my ashes scattered over Bloomingdale’s.” “Bloomingdales. Why
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Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Troy Borst on Feb 16, 2005
ILLUSTRATION... -James S. Hewett, Illustrations Unlimited p. 378
A fifteen-year-old boy came bounding into the house and found his mom in bed. He asked if she were sick or something. He was truly concerned. Mom replied that, as a matter of fact, she didn’t feel too well. The son
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