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In Sermon Illustrations: "Ill Timed"

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  • David Peterson, Former Pastor At The First ...  PRO

    Contributed by Robert Clark on Nov 29, 2005
    based on 9 ratings
     | 2,084 views

    David Peterson, former pastor at the First Presbyterian Church in Spokane, Washington, told about a time when he was preparing his sermon. His little daughter came in and said, "Daddy, can we play?" He answered, "I’m awfully sorry, Sweetheart, but I’m right in the middle of preparing this sermon. ...read more

  • A Young Preacher Began A Ministry At A Church ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Feb 26, 2007
     | 2,938 views

    A young preacher began a ministry at a church that was rife with disunity, so he devised a simple method to eliminate the bickering. Whenever a member came to him to complain, he would take a spiral notebook out of his desk drawer. It was brand new-still had the Wal-Mart sticker on it. Across the ...read more

  • Leper Requests To Sing

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Nov 16, 2009
     | 6,548 views

    Leper Requests to Sing "Count Your Many Blessings" A man named Jack Hinton was on a short-term mission’s trip to the island of Tobago. He was leading worship at the leper colony there and there was time for one more song, so he asked if anyone had a request. A woman who had been facing away from ...read more

  • There's A Story That Abraham Lincoln Went To A ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
     | 3,606 views

    There’s a story that Abraham Lincoln went to a slave market one time, and was moved with compassion to place a bid on a young black girl. He won the bid and walked away with his “property.” There was a sullen, angry expression on the girl’s face, because she knew that here was another white man who ...read more

  • Joy List

    Contributed by Dale Hummel on May 14, 2008
     | 9,703 views

    JOY LIST Writer C. W. Metcalf was working as a hospice volunteer when he met 13-year-old Chuck, who was terminally ill. One day Chuck gave Metcalf half-a-dozen sheets of paper with writing on both sides and said, "I want you to give this to my mom and dad after I die. It's a list of all the fun we ...read more

  • People Often Think That Works They Do That They ...

    Contributed by Matthew Kratz on Jan 26, 2009
     | 866 views

    People often think that works they do that they think are righteous are going to outweigh any faults they do? Imagine a motorist driving down a city street and deliberately driving through a red light. He is pulled over by a policeman who asks to see his driver’s license. Immediately the driver ...read more

  • Things That Mom Would Never Say!!!!

    Contributed by Garris Hudson on May 5, 2022
     | 884 views

    THINGS THAT MOM WOULD NEVER SAY.... 1) “How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?” 2) “Yeah, I used to skip school a lot myself when I was your age!” 3) “Just leave all the lights on … it makes the house look more cheery.” 4) “Let me smell that shirt — Yeah, it’s good for another ...read more

  • Erick Clapton, Arguably The Greatest Living Rock ...  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 26, 2002
    based on 30 ratings
     | 1,467 views

    Erick Clapton, arguably the greatest living rock guitarist, wrote a heart wrenching song about the death of his four year old son (March 20, 1991). He fell from a 53rd-story window. Clapton took nine months off and when he returned his music had changed. The hardship had made his music softer, more ...read more

  • The Reason Behind An Unusual Hymn Singing ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 8, 2009
     | 3,255 views

    The Reason Behind an Unusual Hymn Singing Practice is Discovered Sometime in the last decade of twentieth century, a young pastor who was a fresh graduate from a renowned seminary was assigned to shepherd an old church in a remote village. The church was founded and built sometime in the late ...read more

  • A Chicken Story

    Contributed by Ovidiu Radulescu on Apr 25, 2011
    based on 3 ratings
     | 20,689 views

    A CHICKEN STORY The story is told of Joe the Butcher who had crafty ways of selling his chickens. He had one chicken left, and he didn’t want to keep it over the weekend. The priest of his church came into the store. He said, "My wife sent me to buy a good size chicken to roast for dinner. We’re ...read more

  • Separation From Your Love

    Contributed by Michael Buckingham on Jun 24, 2011
    based on 1 rating
     | 3,107 views

    SEPARATION FROM YOUR LOVE I remember once there was girl I loved so much in my youth, I thought that we would be together forever, and I thought that I could never live without her! But now I hardly ever think about her... the truth is that I really can live without her. So what changed between ...read more

  • Nobody Pencils It In

    Contributed by Austin W. Duncan on Apr 17, 2026
    based on 1 rating
     | 39 views

    I heard a wildlife researcher describe once what happens when frogs try to cross a highway. They don’t hop out into oncoming traffic and get hit all at once. What actually happens is they start crossing a road that’s completely quiet. Middle of the night. No cars anywhere. Looks perfectly safe. So ...read more

  • And When My Combats Over And My Flying Days Are ...  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 12, 2007
    based on 2 ratings
     | 1,954 views

    "And when my combats over and my flying days are done, I will store my ship forever in the airdrome of the sun. Then Ill meet the referee, Great God, my Flying Boss, ...read more

  • It Is Really Something Of A Feat To Have Lived ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 12, 2007
     | 1,647 views

    "It is really something of a feat to have lived 75 years, in spite of illnesses, germs, accidents, disasters and wars. And now every fresh day finds me more filled with wonder ...read more

  • Alexander The Great Had A Famous Horse, ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 12, 2007
     | 2,046 views

    "Alexander the Great had a famous horse, Bucephalus. No one could ride him except Alexander. Bucephalus was afraid of his shadow. Solution: Alexander rode toward the sun. If you always ...read more

  • The Mark Of Jesus  PRO

    Contributed by Isaac Butterworth on Feb 17, 2012
    based on 2 ratings
     | 4,379 views

    THE MARK OF JESUS When I was pastor of the First Presbyterian Church of Levelland, there was a man in our church, the owner of a local business and a highly intentional Christian. The apostle Paul once said of himself that he bore "on [his] body the marks of Jesus" (Gal. 6:17). Well, this man bore ...read more

  • Where Are The Happiest Kids?

    Contributed by Ed Sasnett on Feb 7, 2013
    based on 1 rating
     | 2,052 views

    WHERE ARE THE HAPPIEST KIDS? Where do the happiest kids in the world live? A study released in 2012 titled "The New Definition of Childhood" produced by an agency headquartered in Chicago found that the happiest kids in the world live in Mexico--despite its many social ills and widespread ...read more

  • A Clergyman Walking Down A Country Lane And Sees ...  PRO

    Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Jun 18, 2007
    based on 3 ratings
     | 1,470 views

    A clergyman walking down a country lane and sees a young farmer struggling to load hay back onto a cart after it had fallen off. "You look hot, my son," said the cleric. "Why don’t you rest a moment, and I’ll give you a hand." "No thanks," said the young man. "My father wouldn’t like it if I ...read more

  • Take The Poison

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
     | 3,275 views

    Joke- Take the Poison A man goes to see the Pastor. "Pastor, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it." The Pastor asked, "What’s wrong?" The man replied, "My wife is poisoning me." The Pastor, very surprised by this, asks, "How can that be?" The man then pleads, "I’m ...read more

  • Frogs In A Cream Bowl

    Contributed by Eric Ferguson on Apr 29, 2008
     | 3,044 views

    FROGS IN A CREAM BOWL Two frogs fell into a deep cream bowl. One was an optimistic soul. But the other took the gloomy view. "We’ll drown," he lamented without much ado, and with a last despairing cry, he flung up his legs and said "Goodbye." Quote the other frog with a steadfast grin, "I can’t ...read more