JOKE: Doctor: I have some good news and I have some bad news. Patient: What’s the good news? Doctor: The good news is that the tests you took showed that you have 24 hours to live. Patient: That’s the good news? What’s
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Baptist
Contributed by Owen Bourgaize on May 6, 2009
When I opened my computer I found emails sent to a friend but somehow also sent to me. I inquired as to the reason and was told that a hacker had got into his computer address book and was spewing out messages to all his correspondents. Fortunately it didn’t result in giving my computer a virus.
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Baptist
I get a cut on my hand and I put a band-aid on it and show it to my wife. And she says, "It’s OK, don’t worry. It’s just a little cut." The next day I take the band-aide off and show it to her and she says, "Yes, it’s really healing. It looks good." But I say, "No, it’s not." And so I pop it open
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Seventh-Day Adventist
Contributed by James Wallace on Nov 12, 2009
I had been a Christian only a few months when I felt compelled to witness to my father. In the midst of the discussion, I remember a question which he blurted out in frustration. He said, “Well, if God exists, why doesn’t He just blow a big hole in the ground or something?” In other words, why
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Bible Church
Contributed by Bruce Howell on Jan 9, 2002
based on 2 ratings
| 3,850 views
“The Motivated Typist”
One day an eager young man from Stanford University applied for a part time position at the school. The man who was doing the hiring said, “All I need now is a typist.” “I’ll take the job, said the applicant. “but I can’t start until next Tuesday.” On Tuesday he
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Wesleyan
Contributed by Gordon Curley on Jan 19, 2012
based on 1 rating
| 3,554 views
TELLING LIES
A grandmother was looking after her two little grandchildren, a 7-year-old girl, and a 5-year-old boy. Both of them had been really naughty. But as the time approached for their mother to pick them up, the little girl said to her grandmother, "Are you going to tell Mummy?"
The
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Brethren
Contributed by Paul Fritz on Dec 3, 2001
based on 2 ratings
| 2,151 views
A murderer broke into an old couple’s bedroom. Before he pulled the trigger on his victims, he always made a point of asking them their names. When he asked the woman for her name, she said, "Elizabeth." The man with the gun said, "Oh, I can’t shoot you because that is my mother’s name." Then he
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Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Paul Fritz on Jun 11, 2001
based on 13 ratings
| 2,351 views
A man fell off a cliff, but managed to grab a tree limb on the way down. The following conversation ensued:
"Is anyone up there?"
"I am here. I am the Lord. Do you believe me?"
"Yes, Lord, I believe. I really believe, but I can’t hang on much longer."
"That’s all right, if you really believe
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Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Donnie Martin on Jun 19, 2010
ANYONE ELSE?
A man fell off a cliff, but managed to grab a tree limb on the way down. The following conversation ensued:
"Is anyone up there?"
"I am here. I am the Lord. Do you believe me?"
"Yes, Lord, I believe. I really believe, but I can't hang on much longer."
"That's all right, if you
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Baptist
Contributed by Michael Biolsi on Nov 24, 2001
based on 7 ratings
| 2,374 views
As a result of poor planning a Texas man needed some same-day dry cleaning before he left on a trip. He remembered one store with a huge sign, “One-Hour Dry Cleaners,” on the other side of town, so he drove out of his way to drop off his suit. After filling out the tag, he told the clerk, “I need
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Baptist
Contributed by Mark Eberly on Feb 4, 2008
based on 2 ratings
| 3,273 views
As a result of poor planning, Dennis from Kay, Texas, needed some same-day dry cleaning before his trip. He went to a store that said, “One-Hour Dry Cleaners.” “I need this in an hour,” he told the clerk.
She said, “I can’t get this back to you until Thursday.”
“I thought you did dry cleaning in
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Denomination:
Church Of God
Contributed by Peter Chan on Feb 11, 2005
based on 6 ratings
| 3,817 views
As I did a search on the Internet on “Noah’s Ark”, I came across a webpage where there was a colourful picture of the Noah’s Ark with the title: “Everything I Really Need to Know I learned from Noah’s Ark. Then it was followed by these statements:
Plan ahead. It wasn’t raining when Noah
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Presbyterian/Reformed
This is just a commercial brake: I remember the church where I was youth leader. None of the 12 members of the board but me were under 60. And I came before them with a proposal. "Give me the permission and several Bibles to go door to door around the tires factory where I worked for a while. I’ll
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Denomination:
Seventh-Day Adventist
Contributed by Mark Lennon on Dec 17, 2002
based on 2 ratings
| 2,436 views
Illustration: Have you ever been in a cave when the lights were turned out? The darkness that overcome you, being able to see nothing. Picture this… they turn out the lights and said “See Ya!” Then your begin to remember the deep canyons and step cliffs that went straight down and you realize I
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Baptist
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