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In Sermon Illustrations: "Humorous Weddings"

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  • : Joseph Scriven Was A Young Man Who Was ...

    Contributed by Bruce Howell on Jul 21, 2007
     | 1,716 views

    Illus.: Joseph Scriven was a young man who was deeply in love and engaged to be married. Just days before the wedding, his fiancé drowned accidentally. For months he was bitter and discouraged, but out of this experience he came to know Christ. His life was so ...read more

  • I Have Every Faith In My Calculator's Ability To ...  PRO

    Contributed by Alan Chandler on Jan 28, 2002
    based on 23 ratings
     | 3,548 views

    I have every faith in my calculator’s ability to solve any math problem. However, no matter how strong my faith is, I will never get the answer until I put my faith into action and press the buttons on the calculator. (Presenters note: If you feel comfortabe using props in your presentation, bring ...read more

  • A Young, Attractive Bride-To-Be Walked Into A ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jan 29, 2003
     | 2,744 views

    A young, attractive bride-to-be walked into a bridal shop and began looking through wedding dresses. A worker approached her and said, "May I help you?" "Why yes," the bride said,"I need the loudest dress that you have." The worker had a confused look on her face. "Do you mean ’loud’ like bright ...read more

  • Interestingly Enough, I Read Of A Business That ...

    Contributed by Larry Vinson on Aug 4, 2008
     | 2,325 views

    Interestingly enough, I read of a business that exists in Albuquerque, New Mexico designed specifically for those couples in America who have gone through or going through a divorce. The company is called Freedom Rings: Jewelry for the Divorced. Founded by jeweler and divorcee Lynn Peters, the ...read more

  • Salvation Swing

    Contributed by Jason Bonnicksen on Dec 6, 2011
     | 4,859 views

    SALVATION SWING I remember back, as though it was yesterday, when my daughters were just little tykes. There was a great playground just down the hill from our seminary apartment where the girls would climb, slide and swing. Day after day they’d ask, "Mom, Dad, can we go to the park and swing?" ...read more

  • I Heard Of A Couple Who, As They Were Paying For ...  PRO

    Contributed by James H. Cook, Jr. on Oct 13, 2001
    based on 115 ratings
     | 4,702 views

    I heard of a couple who, as they were paying for groceries in the check-out line, were discussing their soon to be 50th wedding anniversary, when the young cashier interjected by saying, "I can’t imagine being married to same man for 5o years!" The wife wisely replied, ...read more

  • We Could All Save Ourselves A Lot Of Words If ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 8, 2005
     | 1,311 views

    We could all save ourselves a lot of words if we’d only remember that people rarely take advice unless they have to pay for it. The trouble with good advice is that it usually interferes with your plans. Good advice is what your own kids disregard but save to give to ...read more

  • I Heard Of A Couple Who, As They Were ...  PRO

    Contributed by Steve Smith on May 5, 2006
    based on 5 ratings
     | 3,412 views

    ILL: I heard of a couple who, as they were paying for groceries in the check-out line, were discussing their soon to be 50th wedding anniversary, when the young cashier interjected by saying, "I can’t imagine being married to same man for 50 years!" The wife wisely replied, ...read more

  • A Mother Knows She's Been Home Too Long For The ...

    Contributed by Jim Kane on May 18, 2009
     | 1,421 views

    A mother knows she’s been home too long for the following reasons: 1. She begins to talk to Barney as a real person. 2. She forgets which one is real – Mister Rogers or King Friday. 3. She cries for a wedding on Sesame Street. 4. She is one of the congregation ...read more

  • Church Nevers  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 10, 2002
    based on 75 ratings
     | 4,264 views

    CHURCH NEVERS 6. Never ask an usher to break a $20. 5. Never do a cannonball in the baptismal tank. 4. Never hold a church business meeting on Super Bowl Sunday. 3. Never tell the pastor, "We love your church and we might even come back next Easter." 2. During youth group activities, never bungee ...read more

  • During The Civil War A Union Soldier From Ohio ...  PRO

    Contributed by A. Todd Coget on Nov 15, 2002
    based on 15 ratings
     | 2,671 views

    During the Civil War a Union soldier from Ohio was shot in the arm. His captain saw he was wounded and barked out an order, “Gimme your gun, Private, and get to the rear!” The private handed over his rifle and ran toward the north, seeking safety. But after gong only about two or three hundred ...read more

  • Readers' Digest Has A Section Called All In A ...

    Contributed by K. Edward Skidmore on Feb 25, 2005
    based on 2 ratings
     | 2,828 views

    Readers’ Digest has a section called All in a Day’s Work where people write in humorous things that happen at work. Here’s a good one: Confiding in a co-worker, I told her about a problem in our office and my fear that I would lose my job. She was concerned and said she would pray for me. I ...read more

  • Kids Are Buying Books In Quantities We've Never ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 10, 2008
     | 2,915 views

    Kids Are Buying Books in quantities we've never seen before reports Booklist magazine. Credit a bulging teen population (30 million plus), a surge of global talent and perhaps a bit of Harry Potter afterglow. Teen book sales rose 25% between '99 and '05. Fantasy and graphic novels are especially ...read more

  • Music Abuse

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jul 30, 2008
     | 2,760 views

    MUSIC ABUSE The Univ. of Pittsburgh School of Medicine analyzed the lyrics of the top 279 songs of 2005. Nearly 80% of rap songs contained references to illicit drugs, alcohol or tobacco, followed by country (37%), R&B (20%), rock (14%) and pop (9%). When combined, 42% of all songs had some ...read more

  • Forgive Us Our Christmases

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 31, 2008
     | 2,256 views

    FORGIVE US OUR CHRISTMASES Have you ever stopped to watch the Christmas rush go by? Christmas struggles are humorous because they touch at the very center of where we live. A little girl was pushing the limits of her mother's very last nerve. Mom was nearing the end of a hectic season of ...read more

  • Sandy Sheppard- One Of The Funniest Parties I ...

    Contributed by Davon Huss on Jan 25, 2010
     | 3,778 views

    Sandy Sheppard- One of the funniest parties I ever attended was to “roast” Walt, a good friend and mentor, who was celebrating his 50th birthday. Each guest told a humorous story about Walt and presented him with a gag gift. Then Carol got up to speak. “My mother told me if I can’t say something ...read more

  • A Young Man Had Finished His First Semester In ...  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Mar 25, 2011
    based on 3 ratings
     | 2,581 views

    A young man had finished his first semester in college, and was spending the weekend at home. Somewhat bored with the old place, he was regaling his father with the wonders of his campus and the enlightened people there. After getting up a head of steam and warming up to his subject he said, "Why, ...read more

  • Grandpa And The Peach

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Mar 26, 2011
     | 2,349 views

    GRANDPA AND THE PEACH "Four-year-old Jason was visiting his grandparents. Grandpa was in his study intently reading. Jason walked in carrying a peach, said something Grandpa didn't catch, and handed the peach to him. "Thinking his wife had sent him a snack, Grandpa took it and ate it. Just as he ...read more

  • Reconcilation Story

    Contributed by Jim Kane on May 18, 2009
     | 2,737 views

    RECONCILATION STORY It was a conversation that has stuck with me over the years. I was not a part of the conversation, per se, but I was a part of the audience that listened. I think that it took place in 1986 but I cannot remember. It was, I remember, a Sunday night at the church where I was ...read more

  • Eight Year-Old Boy On Johnny Carson Show Talks ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Feb 6, 2010
     | 8,195 views

    Eight Year-old Boy On Johnny Carson Show Talks About What He Learned In Sunday School Some years ago when Johnny Carson was the host of the The Tonight Show he interviewed an eight year old boy. The boy was asked to appear because he had rescued two friends in a coalmine outside his hometown in ...read more