In Sermon Illustrations: "Humorous Weddings" showing 221-240 of 971

Getting Away With It Is Half The Fun

Contributed by James Snyder on Sep 19, 2020

I must admit I don't get away with very much, and I never have. It's not that I never try. It's just that whenever I try to get away with something, it always backfires. I wish there were a class somewhere entitled, "How You Can Get Away with Anything." I certainly would sign ...read more

Scripture: Numbers 32:23

Tags: Sin, Humor

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

The Alleged Warrant For My Arrest

Contributed by James Snyder on Oct 24, 2020

This past week was one of the best weeks I've had in a long time. I got everything completed, as well as some overdue projects. There’s no feeling quite like the feeling of having accomplished your goals for the week. As far as I was concerned, this called for an Apple fritter celebration. ...read more

Scripture: 1 John 4:18

Tags: Fear, Humor

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Another Christmas Tree In The Bag

Contributed by James Snyder on Dec 26, 2020

It's hard to believe, but another Christmas has come and gone. It comes so slow but leaves so fast. I guess I'll never understand that. This Christmas was probably the most unusual that I have ever experienced. When I was young, I remember those first Christmases; they were so slow in ...read more

Scripture: Acts 20:35

Tags: Christmas, Humore

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

A Switch In Time On My Behind

Contributed by James Snyder on Apr 2, 2022

Recently, I was reminded of my father’s passing 12 years ago. It’s funny how time quickly goes by, and then something happens to remind you of the past. When I was growing up, spankings were normal. And, for someone like me, those spankings were quite regular. Today my father would be arrested for ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 22:6

Tags: Humor, Discipline

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

It Was At A Family Reunion That A Lot Of ...

Contributed by Skip Alexander on Jun 30, 2008

It was at a family reunion that a lot of pictures were taken. When the lady took them to the photo place she asked if they could be touched up, “wrinkles and such.” “Yes” he said: Well she said: “Could you take about 30 pounds off of me?” “Yes” he said: And ...read more

Tags: Humor, Unity

Denomination: Baptist

An Apple Fritter On My Mind

Contributed by James Snyder on Jul 2, 2022

The last few weeks have been rather hectic, and I’ve struggled to keep up with everything. If it weren’t for The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage, I probably would not have gotten where I am today. I don’t know anybody who can plan out a day, week, or month better than her. She has everything ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 25:21

Tags: Stress, Humor

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

See Cookie Will Sneak

Contributed by James Snyder on Oct 29, 2022

For more years than I care to remember, I have been on a diligent pursuit, and I won’t stop until I reach my goal. My quest is to find a cookie I don’t like. Throughout the years, I have eaten every cookie I could find and loved them all. My biggest obstacle in this pursuit is The Gracious ...read more

Scripture: Mark 14:38

Tags: Humor, Temptation

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

I Thought She Said, "Doughnut”

Contributed by James Snyder on Nov 2, 2024

As hard as I try, and believe me I try, I don’t always hear correctly, especially regarding The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage. I don’t always hear every word she says. I know God gave me two ears and only one mouth, but I must confess I use my mouth a lot more than I use my ears, which has ...read more

Scripture: Jeremiah 6:10

Tags: Humor, Hearing

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Stubbornness In Marriage

Contributed by Martin Spoelstra on Oct 13, 2017

If you were asked to name three areas where you and your spouse disagree, you'd likely be able to do it without thinking very hard. Might even be able to produce a top 10 list if given a few more minutes. And sadly, unless someone at your house starts doing some giving in, the same issues are going ...read more

Tags: Wedding, Stubbornness, Marriage Commitment

Denomination: Presbyterian/Reformed

I Sure Do Miss St. Sanity

Contributed by James Snyder on Aug 17, 2019

The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and me recently celebrated our 48th wedding anniversary. It sure does not seem we have been married that long. I guess, as you get older, according to my grandmother, time goes faster. If that is true, I must be getting older. We met in September, became ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 5:6

Tags: Politics, Humor, Sanity

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

I May Be A Knucklehead, But I'm Not Insane

Contributed by James Snyder on May 15, 2021

Nobody is perfect except maybe the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage comes close. I've never caught her in some imperfection, or if I had, nobody would know it from me. There is such an obsession today for people to be perfect. And, of course, their definition of perfect is what they are. ...read more

Scripture: Amos 3:3

Tags: Humor, Family, Agreement

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Fools And Kisses  PRO

Contributed by Sermon Central on Jul 2, 2002

"Never let a fool kiss you or a kiss fool ...read more

Scripture: Ephesians 1:1

Tags: Marriage General, Weddings, Romantic Love

Ivan The Terrible

Contributed by Sermon Central on Feb 11, 2014

THE BURIAL CLOTHES OF IVAN THE TERRIBLE In 1547 Ivan the IV became Grand Duke of Russia, and he proclaimed himself "Czar" which is a form of the word "Caesar." He actually claimed to be god on the earth. He later became known as Ivan the Terrible, because he was a cruel, vicious leader. He not ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 22:1-14

Tags: Righteousness, Jesus Parables, Wedding Banquet

The Story Is Told About A Poor Widow Lady With 5 ...  PRO

Contributed by Clint Palmer on Nov 22, 2007

The story is told about a poor Widow lady with 5 Kids who Everyday came out on to her front porch, raised her hands to Heaven & Prayed out loud, “Lord, you know I have No food in my cabinets to feed my children today! Please provide our daily needs!” Her next door neighbor was an “Atheist” ...read more

Tags: Praise, Trust, Humor

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

The Woman And Acts 2:38

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Feb 1, 2014

THE WOMAN AND ACTS 2:38 An elderly woman had just returned to her home from a church service when she was startled by an intruder. As she caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables, she yelled, "Stop--Acts 2:38!" (..repent, turn from your sin..".). The burglar stopped dead ...read more

Scripture: Acts 2:38

Tags: Prayer, Repent, Humor

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Hymns For Each Business

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Oct 15, 2019

The Weatherman's Hymn - There Shall Be Showers Of Blessings. The Contractor's Hymn - The Church's One Foundation. The Tailor's Hymn - Holy, Holy, Holy. The Politician's Hymn - Standing On The Promises. The Optometrist's Hymn - Open My Eyes That I May See. The ...read more

Scripture: John 10:9-10

Tags: Humor, Laughter, Jokes

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Love Bugs Are Really Not That Loving

Contributed by James Snyder on May 16, 2020

Here in Florida, we have what people call "Love Bugs." I know exactly why they are called “Love Bugs,” but I am not fond of these little critters. Why don’t they just get a motel room? Being shut down at home for quite a while it is not that exciting. You can only be shut down for so ...read more

Scripture: Amos 3:3

Tags: Humor, Love Bugs

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

A Family Stare Off Competition

Contributed by James Snyder on Jul 4, 2020

During the last several months, the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and I have spent some quality time together. I’m assuming this is quality time, but I will have to get second opinion evidence about that. Overall, we have been enjoying our time together without any interruptions, as usually ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 26:27

Tags: Humor, Competition, Movies

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

It’s Not Always What It Seems

Contributed by James Snyder on Jul 11, 2020

There are times when my bad hearing is a blessing. I'm not sure if I'm not listening or not hearing. It’s hard for me to tell. For example, the other night, right after midnight, the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and I were pretty much sound asleep. There was more sound on the other ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 21:2

Tags: Humor, Storms, Rioting

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

If I Had A Nickel For Every Blunder I Made…

Contributed by James Snyder on Jul 18, 2020

I am not very agile when it comes to finances. Do not get me wrong, I know how to spend money; it is just that I do not know how to save money. Somewhere I lost my little piggy bank. One of my father's favorite quotes was, "A penny saved is a penny earned." It never made sense to me, ...read more

Scripture: 1 John 1:8-9

Tags: Remember, Mistakes, Humor

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance