Contributed by Rick Davis on Jun 11, 2003
based on 15 ratings
| 11,806 views
MARRIAGE JOKES
1. Marriage made in Heaven — So is thunder in lightening!!
2. Love is a dream — Marriage is an alarm clock
3. A honeymoon is a Short Pause - between - I Do and You Better
4. Lady went to get a divorce—
Lawyer: “Do you have ground?”
Lady: “About 2 acres”
Lawyer: “Do
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Baptist
Contributed by Charles Newman on Jul 24, 2004
I love my boys. I thank God everyday for blessing me with such good children. There is one thing that I believe all children go through. It is a sense of bewilderment when given a series of jobs.
For instance; my children and I can be cleaning up the yard. I can tell Benjamin to go and pick up
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Methodist
Contributed by Davon Huss on Apr 25, 2005
From an advertisement in Time Magazine in 1997- My life is hectic! I’m running all day, meetings, phone calls, paperwork, and appointments. I push myself to the limit, fall into bed exhausted, and get up early the next morning to do it all again. My output is tremendous; I’m getting a lot done.
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Christian/Church Of Christ
In the days before Connecticut became a state, the colonial legislature was in session when a thick black cloud blocked out the sunlight. Someone shouted, "It is the day of judgment! Let us go home and get ready!"
But one member of the legislature, who happened to be an old church deacon, stood
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Baptist
Illustration: In the days before Connecticut became a state, the colonial Legislature was in session when a thick black cloud blocked out the sunlight. Someone shouted, “It is the Day of Judgment! Let’s go home and get ready!”
But another member of the Legislature, who happened to be a deacon
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Baptist
Contributed by Johnny Wilson on Feb 22, 2009
I’m sort of surprised about the timetable for Philip’s journey. God commands him to get up and depart about noon. It reminds me of Robbie O’ Connell, an Irish musician who lives in the U.S., when he went back to Ireland to chase down some authentic folk songs that hadn’t yet been recorded. Since
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*other
Contributed by Donny Granberry on Sep 20, 2007
*ILLUSTRATION*
Kids want to grow up.
Not only do they want to get bigger, but they want to get stronger.
Parents will mark their growth on door frames and measure their growth.
You can ask a boy, show me your
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Assembly Of God
Contributed by Larry Wilson on Jul 9, 2010
Smoke alarm. Sometimes it may go off when cooking, especially when I cook! If we get tired of hearing it, then we may tape over it. But in so doing, you may set yourself up to burn in a real fire! You cannot ignore the conviction of the Holy Spirit without bringing
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Baptist
Contributed by Guy Mcgraw on Mar 18, 2002
based on 3 ratings
| 1,912 views
We are constantly bombarded by the conventional thinking or our world. It often comes to us in pithy sayings
If you give him an inch he will take a mile
Two wrongs don’t make a right
If you lay down with the dogs you will get up with the fleas
God helps those who help themselves
Cleanliness is
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Contributed by Brian Bolton on May 11, 2006
Philip Yancey tells about an African safari he was on where he saw an old momma giraffe taking care of her offspring. Shortly after he was born, she went over & kicked her offspring, and it looked like she was really hurting her baby. Then she did it again.
Each time, the little giraffe would get
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Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Bruce Howell on Aug 4, 2001
based on 407 ratings
| 4,215 views
A Methodist pastor says to a Baptist pastor, “If I immerse somebody just up to his ankles, it that enough?” “No,” answers the Baptist. “How about up to his knees?” “Nope.” “How about up to his shoulders?” “No sir!” “You mean I’ve got to get the water over the top of his head?” “That’s
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Wesleyan
Contributed by Mark Opperman on Jan 21, 2008
based on 11 ratings
| 2,376 views
-ILLUS: One day a farmer’s donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally he decided the animal was old and the well needed to be covered up anyway , it just wasn’t worth the effort to retrieve the donkey. He invited all his
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Denomination:
Assembly Of God
Contributed by Bobby Scobey on Jan 20, 2003
based on 21 ratings
| 2,388 views
E. Stanley Jones stated it graphically, "If you don’t make up your mind, then your unmade mind will unmake you. Here is the place where there must be no dallying. For any dallying will be the Trojan horse that will get on the inside and open the gates to the enemy. God can do anything for the man
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Pentecostal
Contributed by Jerry Falwell on Mar 27, 2002
based on 2 ratings
| 1,928 views
The Los Angeles Times carried an article in 1995 with the title, “Things My Mother Told Me” that suggested:
1. Mind your manners and always write “thank you” notes.
2. Brush your hair.
3. Appearance matters.
4. Never marry a man in order to change him.
5. Stand up straight and clean your
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Baptist
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