Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
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Signs You Ate Too Much Between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Day.
~ Doctor tells you your weight would be perfect for a man 12 feet tall.
~ You are responsible for a slight but measurable shift in the earth’s axis.
~ Paramedics bring in the Jaws of Life to pry you out of the EZ-Boy.
~ The
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Contributed by Jim Heidebrecht on Jun 21, 2007
MOVIE USHER:
Use their flashlight to show you the way in a dark place.
If something goes wrong, everyone looks to the guy who has been identified as knowing the way – by his jacket, his name tag, his silly hat, and his light
There was a young man working as an usher, and his manager asked
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Denomination:
Baptist
Contributed by Dale Pilgrim on Jul 1, 2007
The web-slinging superhero has gone and done it again! Spiderman 3 opened on May 6, 2007 and on opening night grossed in excess of a staggering M$151 US – and climbing! This movie was different from Spider 1 and 2 in that Peter Parker, a.k.a. Spiderman, was forced to deal with what the overview
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Denomination:
Salvation Army
Contributed by Donnie Martin on Sep 13, 2007
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New Every Morning
Yea, “new every morning,” though we may awake,
Our hearts with old sorrow beginning to ache;
With old work unfinished when night stayed our hand
With new duties waiting, unknown and unplanned;
With old care still pressing, to fret and to vex,
With new problems rising, our minds
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Denomination:
Baptist
Contributed by Brian Matherlee on Nov 29, 2007
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i. (From “The Hurting Parent”, pg. 78ff.) A couple with two daughters still at home received a call from their wayward son late one night. He had called from a hotel and told his mom, “I’m hurting and really hungry…tell me what to do.” His voice drifted off and a strong voice broke in. It was
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Denomination:
Wesleyan
Contributed by Paul Wallace on Dec 6, 2007
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A woman was visiting some people who lived on a farm, and she noticed a pig limping in the backyard with a wooden leg. She asked the farmer, "What happened to the pig?" The farmer said, "Oh, Betsy is a wonderful pig. One night the house caught fire and she oinked so loud she woke us and we got the
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Denomination:
Wesleyan
Contributed by Jay Winters on Dec 27, 2007
Hat-tip to SermonCentral illustration bank: On Christmas Eve of 1906, off the coast of Massachusetts, ships carrying sailors that would have liked to be someplace else than a boat on Christmas Eve received a message from the coast in morse code. “CQ….CQ” it said, indicating that an important
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Denomination:
Lutheran
God often answers prayer in a different way than we had in mind. I heard one time about a dad who heard his young son praying by his bed one night. The dad stopped at the door and heard the boy praying intensely, over and over again, “Tokyo, Tokyo, Tokyo.” The next day, the dad asked his son
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Denomination:
Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Bobby Scobey on Oct 14, 2009
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IT COULD BE DONE
"Why are you bothering yourselves with a knitting machine?" asked Ari Davis of Boston, a manufacturer of instruments. "Why don’t you make a sewing machine?" That particular question was overheard by a young man of twenty - Elias Howe. No one took that question seriously, except
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Denomination:
Pentecostal
Contributed by Ross Cochrane on Dec 23, 2009
I have tried fasting a few times in my life and always found it helpful. Once, after a fast for a week or so, I was so hungry for food that I went out and bought a pizza. I was sick that night. Not a good idea to introduce pizza to a starving stomach too quickly. Are you hungry enough?
I was
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Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by John Fallahee on Jun 23, 2010
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HEAVEN TO EARTH, EAST TO WEST
11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him; 12 as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us.
Two distances are described here: heavens above the earth and East
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Denomination:
Baptist
Contributed by Gordon Curley on Nov 24, 2010
THE BATTLE IS REALLY OVER
Theologians tell a story to illustrate how Christ’s triumph presently benefits our lives:
Imagine a city under siege. The enemy that surrounds they city will not let anyone or anything leave. Supplies are running low, and the citizens are fearful. But in the dark of the
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Denomination:
Brethren
Contributed by Gordon Curley on Nov 30, 2010
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BURNING DOWN OR SMOKE SIGNALS?
A shipwrecked man was once washed ashore on an uninhabited island. Using the few things he managed to salvage from the wreck and from whatever he could find on the island, he painstakingly built himself a hut. That little hut was the only protection he had from the
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Denomination:
Brethren
Contributed by Ross Cochrane on Dec 4, 2010
GOD IS NOT A GENIE
She was ferocious and yet frail. When I told her that I was a Chaplain she took the opportunity to bombard me with accusations and questions. "What is the use of prayer if God is going to let those 29 miners die anyway? All those good people prayed around the clock for those
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Denomination:
Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Davon Huss on Mar 7, 2011
EVERYONE'S PROBLEM
A mouse looked out through a crack in a farmhouse wall and was distraught to discover a mousetrap. When he went to tell his buddies, the chicken said, "Sorry, pal, not my problem." The pig said, "I'll pray for you." The cow was busy and said, "Come back later." Dejected, the
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Denomination:
Christian/Church Of Christ
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