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In Sermon Illustrations: "Final"

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  • Prayer Meeting Week After Week With A Woman ...  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 2, 2008
    based on 4 ratings
     | 5,389 views

    Prayer meeting week after week with a woman praying every week this prayer: "Lord, please get rid of the cobwebs in my life." Every week, the same prayer, without fail. Over and over again. Finally, one of the men in the prayer meeting got so fed up, he offered up his own ...read more

  • Kind Of Like The Guy Who Had Too Much To Drink ...

    Contributed by Dave Kinney on Oct 5, 2008
    based on 2 ratings
     | 4,702 views

    Kind of like the guy who had too much to drink and he was driving -- all of the sudden he turns down a road going the wrong direction. The police finally pull him over and said to the man, "Hey fella, what are you doing, you could have killed yourself and someone else. Didn't you ...read more

  • Peanuts Cartoon (Lucy Goes Up To Charlie Brown ...

    Contributed by Christine Forehand on Oct 22, 2008
     | 2,918 views

    Peanuts cartoon (Lucy goes up to Charlie Brown with a paper and pen and says, “Here, sign this. It absolves me from all blame.” Then she goes to Shroeder with the same paper and says, “Here, sign this. It absolves me from all blame.” Finally she comes to Linus and says, “Here, sign this. It ...read more

  • Immediately Following The Baltimore ...  PRO

    Contributed by Barry Hidey on Jan 12, 2001
    based on 122 ratings
     | 3,311 views

    Immediately following the Baltimore Raven’s final game last December(1999), Coach Brian Billick gathered the Ravens and said: "We’ve raised the bar. We can’t go back. We are at a new level, and we will move forward. Our fans, the media, the organization - all have new expectations for us. They’re ...read more

  • A Minister Was Speaking To A Sunday School Class ...  PRO

    Contributed by Scott Carson on Apr 8, 2001
    based on 101 ratings
     | 2,502 views

    A minister was speaking to a Sunday school class about the things money can’t buy. “It can’t buy laughter and it can’t buy love” he told them. Driving his point home he said, “What would you do if I offered you $1000 not to love your mother and father?” Stunned silence ...read more

  • Norman Wright Describes Four Changes That Have ...  PRO

    Contributed by Martin Wiles on May 9, 2002
    based on 23 ratings
     | 2,476 views

    Norman Wright describes four changes that have taken place in family life in recent years. One is the move toward a nuclear family. This is the mother, father and children. In the past, it was common for families to involve the extended members as well. The second change is the selection of the ...read more

  • Sign Seen In A Textile Mill, "When Your Thread ...  PRO

    Contributed by Donnie Martin on Jan 3, 2003
    based on 5 ratings
     | 2,274 views

    Sign seen in a textile mill, “When your thread becomes tangled, call the foreman.” A young woman was new on the job. Her thread became tangled and she thought, “I’ll just straighten this out myself.” She tried, but the situation only worsened. Finally she called the foreman. “I did the best ...read more

  • 65279;i've Read That Michelangelo, The Great ...  PRO

    Contributed by Paul Durbin on Feb 16, 2003
    based on 6 ratings
     | 5,006 views

    I’ve read that Michelangelo, the great sculptor and painter, was pushing a heavy rock up a small incline to his work area so that he could do some sculpting. A neighbor watched him for over an hour as he worked to get this rock in place. Finally he asked, "Michelangelo, why do you labor so ...read more

  • An Angel Appeared At A Faculty Meeting And Told ...  PRO

    Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Mar 10, 2003
    based on 22 ratings
     | 7,240 views

    An angel appeared at a faculty meeting and told the dean that in return for his unselfish service, he will be rewarded with his choice of wealth, wisdom, or beauty. Without hesitating, the dean selects wisdom. "It is done!" the angel said, and then disappeared into a cloud of smoke. All of the ...read more

  • When He Was An Attorney, Abraham Lincoln Was Once ...  PRO

    Contributed by Matthew Doebler on Mar 11, 2003
    based on 2 ratings
     | 3,976 views

    When he was an attorney, Abraham Lincoln was once approached by a man who insisted on bringing a suit for $2.50 against poor debtor who couldn’t pay. Lincoln tried talk him out of it, but this man wanted his revenge. Finally, Lincoln took the case and charged the man legal fee of $10. Lincoln then ...read more

  • A Man And His Teenage Son Were On A Fishing Trip ...  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 7, 2003
    based on 37 ratings
     | 1,561 views

    A man and his teenage son were on a fishing trip miles from home. At the teen’s insistence, they decided to attend Sunday worship service at a small rural church. As they walked back to their car after the service, the father was filled with complaints. "The service was too long, the sermon was ...read more

  • Six-Year Old Angie And Her Four-Year Old Brother ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 8, 2005
     | 2,201 views

    Six-year old Angie and her four-year old brother Joel were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had had enough. "You’re not supposed to talk out loud in church." "Why? Who’s going to stop me?" Joel asked. Angie pointed to the back of the ...read more

  • I Had Been Teaching My Three-Year Old Daughter, ...  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 8, 2005
    based on 8 ratings
     | 4,078 views

    I had been teaching my three-year old daughter, Caitlin, the Lord’s Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, she would repeat after me the lines from the prayer. Finally, she decided to go solo. I listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word, right up to the end of the prayer: "Lead ...read more

  • Was It Not Great Blindness That God Almighty, Who ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Feb 8, 2006
     | 2,568 views

    Was it not great blindness that God Almighty, who created us, has so often made known to us that he is our Father, and finally even gave his Son for us; and he himself stands there and calls us poor sinners, saying "Come to me, all who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest." And we ...read more

  • On Her 60th Birthday, A Woman From Brooklyn ...  PRO

    Contributed by David Parks on Oct 21, 2004
    based on 2 ratings
     | 7,864 views

    On her 60th birthday, a woman from Brooklyn decided to prepare her last will and testament. She went to her rabbi to make two final requests: First, she insisted on cremation. “What is your second request?” the rabbi asked. “I want my ashes scattered over Bloomingdale’s.” “Bloomingdale’s. Why ...read more

  • A Poor Man In Ireland Was Plodding Home, ...  PRO

    Contributed by Stephen Wright on Nov 14, 2004
    based on 4 ratings
     | 9,400 views

    A poor man in Ireland was plodding home, carrying a huge bag of potatoes. A horse and wagon finally drew up alongside him and the driver invited the man to climb aboard. He sat down but continued to hold the heavy bag. When the driver suggested that the man set the bag down, he replied, “I don’t ...read more

  • E-Paper As Early As This Year French And Belgium ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Feb 19, 2007
     | 996 views

    E-Paper As early as this year French and Belgium news-paper publishers are finally getting ready to roll out an electronic product that will allow users to load full editions from the Internet onto digital screens. Flexible versions could be on the market by ‘07. “This could be a real substitution ...read more

  • I Read The Story About A High School Student, ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Feb 26, 2007
     | 1,410 views

    I read the story about a high school student, who went through an initiation for his sorority. They blindfolded him and tied him to the railroad tracks. What he did not know was there was another set of tracks. All he heard was the train coming. As it approached closer and closer he screamed for ...read more

  • Gunny Sack Dresses

    Contributed by Rodelio Mallari on Nov 10, 2010
     | 1,311 views

    GUNNY SACK DRESSES A lady looked all over a dress shop in Glen Ellyn, Illinois, for something that she liked and could wear. Her final selection startled the proprietor and gave her a new idea. The customer purchased a gunny sack that was covering one of the mannequins during the period between ...read more

  • Too Late

    Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Feb 14, 2011
     | 2,114 views

    TOO LATE On his birthday, my husband was stuck driving our six rambunctious children around. As usual, they were yelling, punching, and annoying one another. Joel finally had had enough. "Kids," he said over the din, "if you would behave and be kind to each other, that would be a very nice ...read more