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In Sermon Illustrations: "Fathers Day Funny"

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  • Hold On! Wait!

    Contributed by Robert Garrett on Apr 11, 2005
    based on 1 rating
     | 4,815 views

    "HOLD ON! WAIT!" A young convert told of his experience in the First World War. He was in the "Lost Battalion." We were cut off from our main army and all around us were Germans. Our food and water gave out and every once in a while a +German would come to say "Surrender." Only one shell was ...read more

  • Our Custodians Are Working Wonders! They Are ...

    Contributed by Dale Pilgrim on May 23, 2005
     | 1,483 views

    Our custodians are working wonders! They are task-oriented with multiple jobs to do and are determined to finish them before the day is out. I remember seeing the expression on a custodian’s face one day when she turned on her Harley (vacuum cleaner) and couldn’t get it to work. She checked the ...read more

  • When Wycliffe Translator Doug Meland And His Wife ...  PRO

    Contributed by Eric Peloquin on Jun 23, 2005
    based on 3 ratings
     | 4,202 views

    When Wycliffe translator Doug Meland and his wife moved into a village of Brazil’s Fulnio Indians, he was referred to simply as “the white man.” The term was by no means complimentary, since other white men had exploited them, burned their homes, and robbed them of their lands. But after the ...read more

  • The "Coronary And Ulcer Club" Lists The Following ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 12, 2005
     | 1,471 views

    The “Coronary and Ulcer Club” lists the following rules for members… 1. Your job comes first. Forget everything else. 2. Saturdays, Sundays, and holidays are fine times to be working at the office. There will be nobody else there to bother you. 3. Always have your briefcase with you when not ...read more

  • I Love You, Mother  PRO

    Contributed by Stephen Wright on Jan 8, 2006
    based on 9 ratings
     | 2,817 views

    "I love you, Mother," said little John; Then, forgetting his work, his cap went on, And he was off to the garden swing, Leaving his mother the wood to bring. "I love you, Mother," said little Nell; "I love you better than tongue can tell!" Then she teased and pouted half the day, Till Mother ...read more

  • In A Harvard Study Of Several Hundred ...

    Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Feb 13, 2006
     | 1,335 views

    "In a Harvard study of several hundred preschoolers, researchers discovered an interesting phenomenon. As they taped the children’s playground conversation, they realized that all the sounds coming from little girls’ mouths were recognizable words. However, only 60 percent of the sounds coming from ...read more

  • The "Coronary And Ulcer Club" Lists The Following ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 17, 2006
     | 1,332 views

    The "Coronary and Ulcer Club" lists the following rules for members... 1. Your job comes first. Forget everything else. 2. Saturdays, Sundays, and holidays are fine times to be working at the office. There will be nobody else there to bother you. 3. Always have your briefcase with you when not ...read more

  • A [recent] Study By The Barna Group Shows That ...

    Contributed by Don Parmely on Sep 11, 2006
     | 1,628 views

    A [recent] study by The Barna Group shows that despite an intense surge in religious activity and expression in the weeks immediately following 9/11 the faith of Americans is virtually indistinguishable today compared to pre-attack conditions. The director of the Barna study, David Kinnaman, put ...read more

  • Let's Say That Right Now You Had A $100 Bill In ...

    Contributed by Michael Fritz on Nov 3, 2006
     | 1,521 views

    Let’s say that right now you had a $100 bill in your pocket and I asked you to give it to me for this glass of water. You would probably say that I was crazy or at least wonder what was so special about it. But let’s change the picture a little bit, Imagine that you have been walking for days and ...read more

  • I Remember An Experience Early In My Life When ...

    Contributed by Bruce Willis on Nov 29, 2006
    based on 2 ratings
     | 2,912 views

    I remember an experience early in my life when God began teaching me to learn to listen for His voice and to turn to Him for help. I was outside playing on a sunny day. We had a maid, Beulah, who watched over us during the weekdays. Mother of course had 5 children in 6 years and 9 days, so we ...read more

  • Where The Fire Has Been  PRO

    Contributed by Stephen Wright on Mar 14, 2004
    based on 7 ratings
     | 1,939 views

    Harry Ironside told this story: One day as American pioneers travelled in their wagon train they noticed a long line of smoke that stretched for miles across the prairie. Soon it was evident that the dry grass was burning fiercely, and the fire was moving toward them rapidly. They had crossed a ...read more

  • This Is What Happened To A Texas Minister Who ...  PRO

    Contributed by Charles R. Swindoll on Nov 1, 2004
    based on 6 ratings
     | 4,373 views

    This is what happened to a Texas minister who was scheduled to speak at an all-day conference. He was running late because his alarm had failed to ring. In his haste to make up for lost time, he cut himself while shaving. Then he found his shirt was not ironed. To make matters worse, running to ...read more

  • Tom Recently Told Me A Story About A Man Who Went ...  PRO

    Contributed by Gene Gregory on Dec 7, 2004
    based on 9 ratings
     | 10,355 views

    Tom recently told me a story about a man who went to a priest and confessed that the Lord had recently convicted him of gossip. He wanted to know what he could do to make it right. The priest told him to go to the top of a mountain, rip open a feather pillow, turn the feathers loose in the wind, ...read more

  • His One Mistake - He Brushed His Teeth Twice A ...

    Contributed by Bobby Scobey on Apr 26, 2007
    based on 1 rating
     | 1,347 views

    His One Mistake - He brushed his teeth twice a day. The doctor examined him twice a year. He wore rubbers when it rained. He slept with the windows opened. He stuck to a diet with plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables. He golfed. He got at least 8 hours of sleep every night. He never smoked, ...read more

  • At Times Being A Christian Will Mean For Us A ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
     | 2,670 views

    At times being a Christian will mean for us a sacrifice, will involve a cost , it could involves once held friendships it could mean letting go of something in order for us to fulfil Gods purposes in our lives as Martin Luther once said, “The cross we bear always goes before the crown we ...read more

  • As A Very Young Man, My Mother Sent Me This Poem ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
     | 1,347 views

    AS A VERY YOUNG MAN, MY MOTHER SENT ME THIS POEM WHICH SHE CLIPPED FROM THE SUNDAY PAPER AND I HOPE IT EFFECTS YOU, AS IT HAS ME FOR SOME FORTY YEARS NOW: "LORD, HELP ME TO LIVE FROM DAY TO DAY IN SUCH A SELF-FORGETFUL WAY THAT EVEN WHEN I KNEEL TO PRAY MY PRAYER SHALL BE FOR OTHERS. HELP ME IN ...read more

  • The Rose Beyond The Wall-A. L. Frink

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
     | 7,637 views

    THE ROSE BEYOND THE WALL-A. L. Frink Near a shady wall a rose once grew, Budded and blossomed in God’s free light, Watered and fed by morning dew, Shedding its sweetness day and night. As it grew and blossomed fair and tall, Slowly rising to loftier height, I came to a crevice in the ...read more

  • After A Three-Month Summer Recess, On October ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
     | 1,697 views

    After a three-month summer recess, on October 3,1994, the Supreme Court of the United States opened its 1994-95 term. According to the New York Times News Service, the court’s legal business for that first day could be summed up with one word: “No.” The court announced it had refused to hear more ...read more

  • A Young College Student Had A Summer Job As A ...

    Contributed by Bob Joyce on Oct 9, 2007
     | 1,949 views

    A young college student had a summer job as a welder’s assistant, building a hospital. He had never welded before in his life. He was afraid of heights, and wouldn’t you know it, they put him to work welding on the seventeenth floor! Vast sections of steel beams were jutting out over nowhere. He ...read more

  • I Give Thee Humble Thanks

    Contributed by Bill Butsko on Nov 19, 2007
     | 1,960 views

    “I Give Thee Humble Thanks” I give Thee humble thanks: For all the gifts that Thou dost send, For every kind and loyal friend, For prompt supply of all my need, For all that’s good in word or deed, For gift of health along life’s way. For strength to work from day to day. I give Thee humble ...read more