In Sermon Illustrations: "Fathers Day Jokes"

You're The Best  PRO

Contributed by Sermon Central on May 5, 2002

YOU’RE THE BEST My mother said to me, "If you become a soldier you’ll be a general; if you become a monk you’ll end up as the pope." Instead, I became a painter and wound up as Picasso. SOURCE: Pablo Picasso, Spanish artist. Citation: Celebrating Mother: A Book ...read more

Tags: Parenting, Mother's Day, Children

Can You Hear Them?  PRO

Contributed by Sermon Central on May 5, 2002

CAN YOU HEAR THEM? You too, my mother, read my rhymes, For love of forgotten times, And you may chance, to hear once more, The little feet along the floor SOURCE: Robert Louis Stevenson. Citation: The ...read more

Tags: Children, Mother's Day, Parenting

Babysitter Confession  PRO

Contributed by Sermon Central on May 5, 2002

BABYSITTER CONFESSION "The one thing I’ve never admitted to any baby-sitter, because I’ve barely admitted it to myself, is that I don’t want her to be everything to my children that I am. I want her to be more than I am and everything I am not. I want her to be consistently cheerful and ...read more

Tags: Mother's Day, Family, Guilt

Great Things About Moms  PRO

Contributed by Sermon Central on May 5, 2002

GREAT THINGS ABOUT MOMS They rarely refuse to take their kids to the emergency room. She understands that you’re not ready to quit sucking your thumb. She understands that you can’t give up your blankie yet. It’s not cheating if she helps you write your paper. Only mothers can get all the ...read more

Tags: Children, Mother's Day, Parenting

Mom's Ten Commandments  PRO

Contributed by Sermon Central on May 5, 2002

MOM’S TEN COMMANDMENTS Sick people belong in bed. Thank-you notes, thank-you notes, thank-you notes. Everyone needs a nap everyday. Get your hair off your face. Stand up staight. Look people in the eye when you meet them. Good table manners are important in case you get invited to a rich ...read more

Tags: Children, Mother's Day, Parenting

A Four-Year-Old And A Six-Year-Old Presented ...  PRO

Contributed by A. Todd Coget on May 9, 2002

A four-year-old and a six-year-old presented their mom with a houseplant. They had used their own money to buy it and she was thrilled. The older of them said with a sad face, "There was a bouquet at the flower shop that we wanted to give you. It was real pretty but it was too expensive. It had ...read more

Tags: Children, Parenting, Mother's Day

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Noble Career  PRO

Contributed by Sermon Central on May 9, 2002

NOBLE CAREER There is no career more noble than that of motherhood at its best. There are no possibilities greater and in no other sphere does failure bring more serious penalties. To attempt this task unprepared and untrained is tragic, and its results affect generations to come. On the other ...read more

Tags: Children, Parenting, Mother's Day

Ten Signs Of A Frustrated Mother  PRO

Contributed by Steven Simala Grant on May 28, 2002

TEN SIGNS OF A FRUSTRATED MOTHER 1. Your children know how to read HTML code but can’t operate a vacuum cleaner. 2. Your children tell you that you said "yes" and you don’t even remember the question. 3. You go to the grocery store and find yourself having a good time. 4. Your husband asks how ...read more

Tags: Children, Parenting, Mother's Day

Denomination: Baptist

The Star Spangled Banner  PRO

Contributed by Michael Gibney on Jun 8, 2002

THE STAR SPANGLED BANNER Oh, say can you see, by the dawn’s early light, What so proudly we hailed at the twilight’s last gleaming? Whose broad stripes and bright stars, through the perilous fight, O’er the ramparts we watched, were so gallantly streaming? And the rockets’ red glare, the ...read more

Tags: Independence Day, Political Freedom

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

How Much Do You Know?  PRO

Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2002

HOW MUCH DO YOU KNOW? In a recent Constitution Poll commissioned by the National Constitution Center, fewer than 50 percent of the respondents knew how many U.S. Senators there are; only 6 percent could name the four rights guaranteed by the First Amendment; and 84 percent thought the ...read more

Tags: Political Freedom, Independence Day

Only In America  PRO

Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 24, 2002

ONLY IN AMERICA 1- Only in America can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. 2- Only in America are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. 3- Only in America do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions, while ...read more

Scripture: Psalm 33:12-22

Tags: Political Freedom, Independence Day

My Country Tis Of Thee  PRO

Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 24, 2002

MY COUNTRY TIS OF THEE The kindergarten teacher was showing her class an encyclopedia page picturing several national flags. She pointed to the American flag and asked, "What flag is this?" A little girl called out, "That’s the flag of our country." "Very good," the ...read more

Tags: Political Freedom, Independence Day

Fight Like Men  PRO

Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 24, 2002

FIGHT LIKE MEN The hour is fast approaching, on which the Honor and Success of this army, and the safety of our bleeding Country depend. Remember officers and Soldiers, that you are Freemen, fighting for the blessings of Liberty -- that slavery will be your portion, and that of your ...read more

Tags: Independence Day, Political Freedom

A Great Place To Live  PRO

Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 26, 2002

A GREAT PLACE TO LIVE America is a great place to live. Thousands of people reach its borders everyday hoping to live the American Dream. The Chrisian Science Monitor recently reported a poll that asked the question "If it couldn’t be US, whose citizenship would you want?" Americans, ...read more

Tags: Independence Day, Kingdom Of God

In Support Of God  PRO

Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 30, 2002

IN SUPPORT OF GOD On Sunday, June 30, 2002, CNN reported that a weekend poll said nearly nine in 10 Americans believe the phrase "under God" should remain in the Pledge of Allegiance. Most also believe that it is acceptable for the government to promote religious expression, as long as no ...read more

Tags: Independence Day, Political Freedom

What If?  PRO

Contributed by Jim Kane on Jul 11, 2002

WHAT IF? Almost 226 years ago, a group of men were meeting in trying circumstances. A war was on. Armies were marching and doing battle. They believed in certain truths that ultimately would form one of human history’s greatest nations. They were willing to sacrifice their very lives for making ...read more

Tags: Discipleship, Endurance, Independence Day

Denomination: Church Of God

Give Me Liberty  PRO

Contributed by Michael Gibney on Aug 7, 2002

GIVE ME LIBERTY March 23, 1775. A man with his eternal perspective addressed the House of representatives and said, “ No man thinks more highly than I do of the patriotism, as well as abilities, of the very worthy gentlemen who have just addressed the House. But different men often see the same ...read more

Tags: God's Omniscience, Independence Day

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

One Vote  PRO

Contributed by Sermon Central on Oct 21, 2002

You are wrong if you do not vote. You are to render unto Caesar the things that are Caesar’s. Our Caesar [in the United States] is a government of the people by the people for the people. One vote may make the difference. ONE VOTE made Oliver Cromwell Lord Protector of the Commonwealth and gave ...read more

Tags: Independence Day, Political Freedom

Mothers Are Central To The Success Of The ...  PRO

Contributed by Donnie Martin on May 11, 2003

Mothers are central to the success of the American family. Their love, dedication, and wisdom touch countless lives every day in every community throughout our land. And their love and guidance of children help to develop healthy and spiritually sound families. President John Quincy Adams once ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 11:28-29

Tags: Parenting, Mother's Day, Women

Denomination: Baptist

A Mother's Daily Antidepressant Is Praise! ...  PRO

Contributed by Kenneth Squires on Jun 17, 2003

A mother’s daily antidepressant is praise! Through Jesus we can put on a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair! Praise cuts the ropes of despair. Praise unlocks the jail of depression. Praise sets our spirits free. How much more can we love our kids when we’re loving our God? How much ...read more

Tags: Parenting, Mother's Day, Disappointment

Denomination: Pentecostal