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In Sermon Illustrations: "Fathers Day Jokes"

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  • Drop The Last Year Into The Silent Limbo Of The ...  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jan 20, 2002
    based on 2 ratings
     | 2,812 views

    Drop the last year into the silent limbo of the past. Let it go, for it was imperfect, and thank God that ...read more

  • Marking The Time  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jan 20, 2002
    based on 3 ratings
     | 3,950 views

    MARKING THE TIME Time has no divisions to mark its passage, there is never a thunder-storm or blare of trumpets to announce the beginning of a new month or year. Even when a new century begins it is only we ...read more

  • The Quickest Way For A Mother To Get The ...  PRO

    Contributed by Jan Spencer on Mar 19, 2002
    based on 36 ratings
     | 3,480 views

    The quickest way for a mother to get the attention of her children is to sit down and look comfortable. Mothers can have a few minutes to ...read more

  • The Los Angeles Times Carried An Article In 1995 ...  PRO

    Contributed by Jerry Falwell on Mar 27, 2002
    based on 2 ratings
     | 1,923 views

    The Los Angeles Times carried an article in 1995 with the title, “Things My Mother Told Me” that suggested: 1. Mind your manners and always write “thank you” notes. 2. Brush your hair. 3. Appearance matters. 4. Never marry a man in order to change him. 5. Stand up straight and clean your ...read more

  • Evolution?  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on May 5, 2002
    based on 11 ratings
     | 2,756 views

    EVOLUTION? If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands? Milton Berle, American comedian SOURCE: Celebrating Mothers: A Book of Appreciation. Edited by ...read more

  • From My Mother  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on May 5, 2002
    based on 11 ratings
     | 2,183 views

    FROM MY MOTHER From my mother I learned the value of prayer, how to have dreams and believe I could make them come true. Ronald Reagan, 40th president of the United States. SOURCE: Celebrating Mothers, A book of ...read more

  • When Robert Ingersoll The Notorious Skeptic, Was ...  PRO

    Contributed by Larry Norman on May 10, 2002
    based on 4 ratings
     | 4,416 views

    When Robert Ingersoll the notorious skeptic, was in his heyday, two college students went to hear him lecture. As the walked down the street after the lecture, one said to the other, “Well, I guess he knocked the props out from under Christianity, didn’t he?” The other said, “No, I don’t think he ...read more

  • A Teacher Asked A Boy This Question: ...  PRO

    Contributed by Mark Hensley on May 11, 2002
    based on 6 ratings
     | 54,135 views

    A teacher asked a boy this question: “Suppose your mother baked a pie and there were seven of you—your parents and five children. What part of the pie would you get?” “A sixth,” replied the boy. “I’m afraid you don’t know your fractions,” said the teacher. “Remember, there are seven of you.” ...read more

  • Several Of Us Go Pick Up The Inner City Kids And ...  PRO

    Contributed by Greg Nance on May 13, 2002
    based on 65 ratings
     | 1,570 views

    Several of us go pick up the inner city kids and bring them to Bible classes once a week. One of the questions I like to ask the kids at Inner City is this: Does you mamma love you? They always answer, “Yes!” Then I ask them why and they tell me, “She has to, she’s my mamma!” You can’t ask ...read more

  • Ten Things A Mom Doesn't Want To Hear  PRO

    Contributed by Steven Simala Grant on May 28, 2002
    based on 5 ratings
     | 4,466 views

    TEN THINGS A MOM DOESN’T WANT TO HEAR 1. I swallowed a goldfish. 2. Your lipstick works better than crayons. 3. Does grape juice leave a stain??? 4. The principal called... 5. But DAD says that word all the time. 6. What’s it cost to fix a window??? 7. Has anyone seen my earthworms??? 8. I ...read more

  • Our Dependence On God  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 24, 2002
    based on 12 ratings
     | 5,903 views

    OUR DEPENDENCE ON GOD “It is the duty of nations as well as of men to own their dependence upon the overruling power of God; to confess their sins and transgressions in humble sorrow, yet with assured hope that genuine repentance will lead to mercy and pardon; and to recognize the sublime truth, ...read more

  • A Fifteen-Year-Old Boy Came Bounding Into The ...  PRO

    Contributed by Donnie Martin on May 11, 2003
    based on 2 ratings
     | 5,533 views

    A fifteen-year-old boy came bounding into the house and found his mom in bed. He asked if she were sick or something. He was truly concerned. Mom replied that, as a matter of fact, she didn’t feel too well. The son replied, “Well, don’t worry a bit about dinner. I’ll be happy to ...read more

  • Axelrod Shares This Story About A Magnificent ...

    Contributed by Michael Mccartney on May 15, 2003
    based on 1 rating
     | 1,798 views

    Axelrod shares this story about a magnificent mom: There is a story about four preachers discussing their favorite translations of the Bible. The first one said, "I like the King James Version because of its beautiful English." Another said, "I like the New American Standard version because it¡¦s ...read more

  • For You, Mother  PRO

    Contributed by Kenneth Squires on Jun 17, 2003
    based on 23 ratings
     | 2,789 views

    FOR YOU, MOTHER This is for all the mothers who have sat up all night with sick toddlers in their arms, wiping up barf full of Oscar Mayer wieners and cherry Kool-Aid saying, "It’s OK honey, Mommy’s here." This is for all the mothers who show up at work with spit-up in their hair and milk stains ...read more

  • Trate Fact: In 1907 Ana Jarvis, From ...  PRO

    Contributed by Joel Vicente on Feb 14, 2005
    based on 4 ratings
     | 3,863 views

    Illustrate Fact: In 1907 Ana Jarvis, from Philadelphia, began a campaign to establish a national Mother’s Day. Ms. Jarvis persuaded her mother’s church in Grafton, West Virginia to celebrate Mother’s Day on the second anniversary of her mother’s death, the 2nd Sunday of May. By the next year ...read more

  • Show Me The Mommy  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on May 1, 2005
    based on 7 ratings
     | 3,727 views

    SHOW ME THE MOMMY One of the latest reality shows in South Africa is called "Show me the Mommy." An eligible bachelor gets to go out with 3 moms and choose which daughter he wants to date based on his opinion of the mother. Which mom would have raised the most enjoyable girl to date? Moms, ...read more

  • When Mom Gets Sick  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on May 2, 2005
    based on 14 ratings
     | 4,757 views

    WHEN MOM GETS SICK Notes from a man TRYING to make Mom’s life easier while she is sick in bed... Monday A.M. Dearest: Sleep late. Everything under control. Lunches packed. Kids off to school. Menu for dinner planned. Your lunch is on a tray in refrigerator: fruit-cup, finger-sandwiches. Thermos ...read more

  • The Making Of Me  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on May 2, 2005
    based on 9 ratings
     | 3,645 views

    THE MAKING OF ME Thomas Edison once said, “I did not have my mother long, but she cast over me an influence which has lasted all my life. The good effects of her early training I can never lose. If it had not been for her appreciation and her faith in me at a critical time in my experience, I ...read more

  • Lessons You've Learned  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on May 2, 2005
    based on 7 ratings
     | 3,693 views

    LESSONS YOU’VE LEARNED Mothers have taught us so much about life. But you have to admit, we, as your children, have taught you some things about life too. Here are a few of the lessons we might have taught you: (1) You have learned that a 3 year old’s voice is louder than 200 adults in a ...read more

  • A Mother To Greatness  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on May 2, 2005
    based on 6 ratings
     | 4,114 views

    A MOTHER TO GREATNESS John Merrill writes this: "A young, awkward boy grew up in southern California, plagued by a learning disability that in later years would be called dyslexia. But with his mother’s encouragement and admonishment, he became a strong and capable leader. Years later he was ...read more