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In Sermon Illustrations: "Fathers Day Jokes"

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  • In The Greek Islands, You Can See The Home Of ...

    Contributed by Bobby Scobey on Oct 24, 2007
     | 798 views

    In the Greek Islands, you can see the home of Hippocrates, the father of modern medicine. Near his house there is an olive tree, supposedly dating from his time. The trunk of this tree is very large but completely hollow; it is little more than thick bark. There are a few long, straggling ...read more

  • Valuable To God

    Contributed by David Vanheuvelen on Dec 8, 2007
     | 3,346 views

    You are valuable to God. I can state that without fear of exaggeration. His Word makes it clear that He willing bought and paid for you. As I said before, a thing is worth whatever someone is willing to pay for it. God was willing to give His Son and Jesus was willing to give His blood – that is ...read more

  • Real Treasure  PRO

    Contributed by Richard Goble on Dec 30, 2007
    based on 3 ratings
     | 4,440 views

    Real Treasure An old farmer who was about to die called his two sons to his bedside and said, "My boys, my farm and the fields are yours in equal shares. I leave you a little ready money but the bulk of my wealth is hidden somewhere in the ground, not more than eighteen inches from the surface. I ...read more

  • Don Fuller, 67 Years Old,a Good Friend Of Mine, ...  PRO

    Contributed by Daniel Owens on Jan 10, 2008
    based on 2 ratings
     | 1,689 views

    Don Fuller, 67 years old,a good friend of mine, just had a 4 by-pass heart surgery about 4 months ago. My wife and I visited him at the hospital in Indianapolis. I greeted Don in my usual fashion, “How ya doin’, Brother?”, and he replied as he always did; “Sittin’ on top of the mountain looking ...read more

  • John Newton: Wrote Many Books, Sermons & Hymns. ...

    Contributed by Guy Mcgraw on Jan 24, 2008
     | 1,705 views

    JOHN NEWTON: Wrote many books, sermons & hymns. His most famous was ‘Amazing Grace’. Newton’s life proved the truth of that song. He lived a very troubled life: Had a very godly mother but a wicked father who was often off to sea and then came home to live a wicked life. Newton’s mother prayed ...read more

  • As A Boy, Larry Crabb Stuttered But Now He Is A ...

    Contributed by Mark Eberly on Feb 19, 2008
    based on 1 rating
     | 1,451 views

    As a boy, Larry Crabb stuttered but now he is a popular speaker and psychologist. He recalls one time as a young man when felt pressure by expectation to pray out loud because that was the tradition of his church. In a terribly confused prayer, he recalled “thanking the Father for hanging on the ...read more

  • Bloom Where You're Planted

    Contributed by Donnie Martin on Apr 17, 2008
    based on 1 rating
     | 3,454 views

    BLOOM WHERE YOU'RE PLANTED In the eleventh century, King Henry III of Bavaria grew tired of court life and the pressures of being a monarch. He made application to Prior Richard at a local monastery, asking to be accepted as a contemplative and spend the rest of his life in the monastery. "Your ...read more

  • What Is The Largest Ancestry In The World? How ...

    Contributed by Aubrey Vaughan on May 25, 2008
     | 1,555 views

    WHAT IS THE LARGEST ANCESTRY IN THE WORLD? HOW FAR CAN WE GO BACK? WELL, WIKIPEDIA THE ONLINE ENCYCLOPEDIA STATES: THE LONGEST FAMILY TREE IN THE WORLD IS THAT OF THE CHINESE PHILOSOPHER AND EDUCATOR CONFUCIUS (551-479 BC). THE TREE SPANS MORE THAN 80 GENERATIONS, AND INCLUDES MORE THAN 2 ...read more

  • ...

    Contributed by Eric Ferguson on Jun 4, 2008
     | 470 views

    Illustration: Gumball Show students an ordinary gumball, explaining that there’s an art to fitting into the world—especially a world with gum. We can chew gum, blow bubbles with it, even use it as a sticky adhesive if we’re desperate. But unwise people make a mess of gum, like the little girl ...read more

  • John Suk Writes, "Soldiers Of The Symbionese ...

    Contributed by Donnie Martin on Aug 26, 2008
     | 1,193 views

    John Suk writes, “Soldiers of the Symbionese Liberation Army kidnapped newspaper heiress Patty Hearst from her Berkeley, California, apartment on February 4, 1974. In return for her release, Patty’s kidnappers demanded that her father, Randolph Hearst, give millions of dollars to the poor. “On ...read more

  • Before You Judge

    Contributed by Jim Kane on Feb 6, 2009
    based on 1 rating
     | 3,363 views

    BEFORE YOU JUDGE Steven Covey recalls riding on the New York subway one Sunday morning. It was a quiet time with many simply reading the paper, resting, or thinking quietly to themselves. But the quiet was shatter when a man and his children entered the car Covey was sitting in. The man sat down ...read more

  • Remember With Me If You Can When Your Last Child ...

    Contributed by Paul Carlson on Feb 17, 2009
     | 1,411 views

    Remember with me if you can when your last child was born. For my wife and me it was in Hoffman Estates Medical Center, on October 17, 1986 at 1:58 a.m. We entered the hospital on a cool dark evening with great expectation about what was soon to occur. Birth pains gradually came in shorter and ...read more

  • Max Lucado And God's Grace

    Contributed by Guy Mcgraw on Mar 12, 2009
     | 6,496 views

    MAX LUCADO AND GOD'S GRACE Max Lucado - Despite having sold 15 million books, a one-minute radio show in 900 markets, and a church of over 3,000 in weekly attendance, Lucado has not always been so "angelic." From his sophomore to senior year in high school, in his words, he "walked the path of the ...read more

  • The Resiliency Of Love Reveals Itself In The ...

    Contributed by Jim Kane on May 18, 2009
    based on 1 rating
     | 3,690 views

    the resiliency of love reveals itself in the story of two newlyweds. Now prior to the marriage the groom was apprehensive about his foot order problem. His father recommended frequent foot washing and wearing socks to bed. He thought that to be a wonderful idea and would do so. The bride-to-be was ...read more

  • Divorce Barbie

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 25, 2009
    based on 1 rating
     | 3,710 views

    DIVORCE BARBIE Too many times, we are more concerned with what we get out of giving than what we are trying to give in the first place. A father was sitting in his chair one night reading the paper. All of a sudden, he realized it was his young daughter’s birthday, and he had forgotten to get her ...read more

  • Drunk Asks Priest About The Cause Of ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Nov 11, 2009
     | 6,553 views

    Drunk Asks Priest About the Cause of Arthritis Sometimes our words can get us into trouble. A man who smelled like a brewery flopped on a seat at a bus stop next to a priest. The man’s shirt was stained, clothes messy, and a half empty bottle of wine was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He ...read more

  • If They Were Our ...

    Contributed by Curry Pikkaart on Dec 24, 2009
     | 1,394 views

    IF THEY WERE OUR OWN If you boy or my girl were in darkness – Were groping alone in the night, Soul—weary and helplessly seeking In vain for a glimmer of light, Thro’ the dangerous depths of a forest, Bewildered and frightened and lost, Would I be at home by the fireside Demurring and counting ...read more

  • Everybody Loves Raymond: Why Are We Here First?

    Contributed by Davon Huss on Nov 8, 2010
     | 2,272 views

    EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND: WHY ARE WE HERE FIRST? In the TV show Everybody Loves Raymond, little Alley begins asking some questions about babies. Raymond, the father, gets nervous and refuses to answer her questions. Later on, Raymond realizes that he needs to answer his daughter’s questions. ...read more

  • God, You're In My Way.  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on May 28, 2012
    based on 3 ratings
     | 5,303 views

    "GOD, YOU'RE IN MY WAY." A California pastor, Kyle Idleman, talks about his last move in his book, Not a Fan. In that move, he saved the heaviest piece of furniture for last -- the desk from his office. And as he was pushing and pulling the desk with all his might, his four-year-old son came over ...read more

  • "Barbarians" And The Gospel

    Contributed by Bret Toman on Mar 14, 2013
     | 4,191 views

    "BARBARIANS" AND THE GOSPEL It is said that one of the greatest disasters in the history of Christianity took place in 1271. Nichelo and and Matteo Polo, the father and the uncle of Marco Polo, were visiting the Kubla Kahn. At that time, Kubla Kahn was a world ruler. He ruled all of China, all of ...read more