Contributed by Dan Thompkins on Jan 11, 2008
based on 3 ratings
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WHAT ARE WE VOTING FOR?
A parishioner had dozed off to sleep during the morning service.
“Will all who want to go to heaven, please stand?” the pastor asked.” – All stood, except the sleeping parishioner.
After they sat, the pastor continued, “Well, will all who want to go to the other place
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Pentecostal
Contributed by Guy Mcgraw on Jan 21, 2008
BIG JOHN COMING TO TOWN: New man made bartender and warned by owner, ‘If you hear Big John is coming drop everything and run for your life’.
Months later a white faced cowhand ran in yelling, ‘Big John is coming to town’.
Before the bartender could run into the saloon can a huge man riding a
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Contributed by Rick D Brackett on Feb 15, 2008
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A man went to his neighbor and asked to borrow his chain saw. The man said, “I can’t, because I’m eating black-eyed peas”. The
neighbor said, “No, I’m serious, I have a tree laying in my drive way and I need to borrow your chain-saw” The man said, “I can’t be-
cause I’m eating black-eyed peas”. The
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Denomination:
Church Of God
Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 2, 2008
The way of sanctification is the way of spiritual refreshment from the presence of the Lord. Picture your house when you go away for an extended vacation. You shut up the house and close all the blinds. While you’re gone the air becomes stale and musty. When you return the first thing you do is
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Contributed by Ajai Prakash on May 9, 2008
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The story is told by Dr. John R. Rice that once he was preaching in a conference with the late Gypsy Smith. After the service he walked out of the building to catch a cab back to his motel. Once in the cab, he began to witness to the driver, whereupon the driver with tears in his eyes, told him
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Evangelical/Non-Denominational
This week I was reading, “Relevant Magazine” and I came across this news flash in their May/June 08 edition on page 38: “I Don’t Want Your Sex for Now,” “Tampa’s Relevant Church (which has no relation to RELEVANT Media Group) recently issued a challenge to married members of its congregation to
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Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Ajai Prakash on Jul 12, 2008
Abraham Lincoln’s secretary of war, Edwin Stanton, was angered by an army officer who accused him of favoritism. Stanton complained to Lincoln, who suggested that Stanton write the officer a sharp letter. Stanton did, and showed the strongly worded missive to the president. "What are you going to
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Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Perry Greene on Mar 20, 2012
GET THE BUGS OUT
A huge clock was built and placed in the tower of the Pottsdam Garrison Church by the Emperor Frederick the Great of Prussia. This magnificent timepiece would chime out the hymn, "Praise Ye the Lord" every half hour. One day the melody ceased. Repairmen opened the gearbox of the
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Christian/Church Of Christ
Is there anybody here who has ever told somebody a secret? What’s the first thing you say, when you are about to tell somebody a secret? Right-Don’t tell anybody. But if the secret is some really good news, and you’re the person who is being told the secret, your face lights up, your eyes get
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Presbyterian/Reformed
Contributed by Johnny Creasong on Apr 22, 2009
FALLING ASLEEP IN CHURCH
Please don't think I'm complaining about folks who fall asleep in church. I understand some people can’t help it. I am convinced that some people fall asleep in church during the sermon because their have a physical ailment. Some folk must have a snooze button attached at
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Church Of God
Contributed by Clark Tanner on Sep 18, 2009
"Imagine yourself in a place so dark you cannot see your hand before your face. Either you want it that way because you want to sleep, or because you’re doing something you don’t want anyone else to see, in which case the sudden coming of light would be an irritation to you, or you wish you could
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Orthodox
Contributed by C Jordan on Nov 22, 2009
“The Pharisees have taken His Sabbath and loaded it up with more than 1,500 nitpicky rules and regulations. They took a good gift from God and made it into an unbearable burden for the people to live under… Let’s keep the Sabbath as a good gift. Let’s not make up our own Pharisaical laws and
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*other
Contributed by James Mercer on Dec 8, 2009
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LIFE BEGINS AT THE CROSS
We don’t begin to live until we believe on Jesus and receive this everlasting life. A popular book a generation ago was entitled, Life Begins at Forty, where the author sought to prove that a person just enters the prime of life at forty years of age. The new saying is
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Baptist
Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Dec 21, 2009
In December 1903, after many attempts, the Wright brothers were successful in getting their "flying machine" off the ground. Thrilled, they telegraphed this message to their sister Katherine: "We have actually flown 120 feet. Will be home for Christmas."
• Katherine hurried to the editor of the
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Independent/Bible
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