Contributed by Sermon Central on Nov 10, 2005
based on 10 ratings
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[It would be nice of you to add this to the general humor section instead of SermonCentralPro because you need some new stuff in that section.]
If My Body Were a Car
By Anonymous
I see newer models rolling down the street,
But my own car is growing older and it’s not very neat.
I’ve got bumps,
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Contributed by Mark Eberly on Apr 13, 2009
OBJECT LESSON: THE MOP HEAD
I have here a mop head that I recently replaced at the Upper Room. This has been used to mop urine. I know, because I mopped up when this guy urinated all over himself, the couch he was sitting on, and the floor while he was asleep. It has mopped up the filth that was
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Denomination:
Church Of God
Contributed by Bradley Kellum on Aug 25, 2009
SUFFERING FOR THE RIGHT REASONS
Richard Wurmbrand is the founder of a ministry called "Voice of the Martyrs." Some of you receive their publication.
Richard Wurmbrand was a Romanian Pastor who was imprisoned by the Russians and tortured for his faith in Christ. In May of 1966 Pastor Wurmbrand
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Denomination:
Baptist
Contributed by Andy Beech on Mar 29, 2008
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When I was about 27 years old I developed an abscess in a rather embarrassing area of the body. Consequently I tried to keep quiet about it hoping it would go away by natural means.
Eventually the abscess got to such a size that the pain was intense and I was finding it difficult to walk. So I
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Denomination:
Methodist
Contributed by Brian Harvison on Apr 7, 2008
It was January and a crowd of mostly Christian children and teenagers had gathered for a Bible Camp at the Station Field complex of Pattimura University on the Island of Ambon in Indonesia. When the camp was over, cars came to take the laughing; rejoicing children back to their homes. But there
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Denomination:
Baptist
Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Jan 19, 2009
“The Tarsier is one of the smallest primates and lives in the forests of Borneo and Sumatra and the Philippines. Tarsiers have a maximum body length of 6⅓ inches and a 10½ inch tail. Their eyes are so large that they would be equivalent to grapefruit-sized eyes in a human being.
Tarsiers,
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Denomination:
Independent/Bible
based on 1 rating
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We live in a generation of government corruption and evil that is unparalleled. How long will God tolerate this?
The Bible says in Luke 8:17 (NLT), "For all that is secret will eventually be brought into the open, and everything that is concealed will be brought to light and made known to
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Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Jesus, the mere mention of His name can calm the storm, heal the broken hearted, and raise the dead. At the name of Jesus, I've seen sin-hardened men melted, derelicts transformed, the lights of hope put back into the eyes of a hopeless child...
At the name of Jesus, hatred and bitterness has
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Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Bruce Rzengota on Feb 5, 2009
based on 1 rating
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How did Titus do in Crete?
Titus led the church in Crete until 105 AD, when he died at age 94. The church in Crete experienced many internal and external stresses, much of it due to the friction of the island. These tensions, however, did not impact the religious strength or stamina of the church
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Denomination:
Christian Missionary Alliance
based on 1 rating
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A RESPONSIBLE POSITION
A young man, a skilled mechanic, was driving a visiting pastor from his home town, 50 miles across the country, to another city. En route, they passed a huge factory consisting of perhaps 20 buildings scattered over several hundred acres.
"Do you see that red brick
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Independent/Bible
Contributed by Sermon Central on May 4, 2001
based on 120 ratings
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Agony claws my mind. I am a statistic. When I first got here, I felt very much alone. I was overwhelmed by grief, and I expected to find sympathy. I found no sympathy. I saw only thousands of others whose bodies were as badly mangled as mine. I was given a number and places in a category. This was
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Contributed by Ross Cochrane on May 17, 2010
I was talking to a man on Friday about our Church. He said he didn’t like our way of doing Church. I asked him what he meant and he said that he could not see how a Church could have a band out the front and what appeared to him to be a concert going on and so many people. He said "That’s not my
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Denomination:
Evangelical/Non-Denominational
based on 5 ratings
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SPITE FENCES:
I had a good friend that pastored a church in the same town where I pastored. We had a very good friendship and often pent time together. We both loved to laugh.
The church my friend pastored was next to a local grocery store. The grocery store venders would park in the back of the
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Denomination:
Assembly Of God
Contributed by Karl Popke on May 28, 2010
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In one community -- the Village atheist was not a bad man. He just didn’t believe. He wasn’t interested in church…and there was only one in the area. And this church was,-- well, mostly a social club. Heartlessly and spiritually dead—no conversions or decisions for Christ had been made for some
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Denomination:
Baptist
FIRST PHIL AND FIRST PHYLLIS
Some years ago, I asked the leaders of our church to do a little exercise with me. I fabricated two imaginary people, one a man and the other a woman. Since this is First Presbyterian Church, I named the man "First Phil" and the woman "First Phyllis." I suggested that
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Denomination:
Presbyterian/Reformed
Contributed by Don Hawks on Nov 26, 2003
based on 4 ratings
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There was this parrot who lived in a bar. Well the barkeeper decided to sell the bar and a group of church people who needed a new church bought it to convert it to a place to meet for worship. So the bar was open it’s last night for business. After midnight when the bar closed down and the
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Denomination:
Methodist
Contributed by Sermon Central on Jan 5, 2006
based on 2 ratings
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Barna’s latest survey shows 11% of the people who attend a Christian church at least once a month plan to change their place of worship in the coming year. If true, more than 15 million people will change their church home in the next 12 months. Barna concludes, "Despite their fascination with
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Contributed by Gordon Curley on Nov 23, 2010
BELIEVING IN THE POWER OF PRAYER
When a night club opened on the main street of a small American town, the local Church held an all-night prayer meeting. One member asked God to burn it down. Within a few moments, lightning struck the club and it was burnt to the ground.
The owner sued the
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Denomination:
Brethren
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