In Sermon Illustrations: "Christmas Jokes"

Annie Armstrong Was Called Indefatigable. She ...

Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007

Annie Armstrong was called indefatigable. She never tired of serving God and serving People. In 1893 because of her belief in the powerful hand of God to change lives and our world she wrote over 18,000 letters many by hand. She was the driving force in founding the lottie Moon Christmas offering, ...read more

Tags: Faith

Simple As That God Loves All, Loves You, Me And ...

Contributed by Richard Francis on Dec 2, 2007

Simple as that God loves all, loves you, me and everyone we have ever met and seen, has no favourites hates none, excludes none all are precious and all have been given his greatest of gifts life and Jesus, all receive the former and have to chose to unpack the later to really receive the first ...read more

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

In '06, American Consumers Spent $3.2 Billion ...

Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 15, 2008

In '06, American consumers spent $3.2 billion buying Halloween decorations, up over 21% from '05. This makes Halloween second only to Christmas for holiday decorating. It's not just Halloween. In '06 about $5 billion of the industry’s $19.2 billion in retail sales were generated from fall ...read more

Tags: Halloween

Can You Think Back To Some Of Your Greatest ...

Contributed by Charles Wallis on Dec 22, 2008

Can you think back to some of your greatest childhood memories? A younng boy got a motorcycle, then a bicycle for his birthday, then a 22 rifle for Christmas. So he set them all up and took a picture because he did not want to forget that moment. Someone stole the bicycle, and that motorcycle ...read more

Tags: Possession

Denomination: Pentecostal

To Put The Gift Of Eternity Into Perspective ...

Contributed by Bryan Fink on Dec 25, 2008

To put the gift of eternity into perspective let’s take this roll of Christmas ribbon and unroll it all the way down the hall.(Invite some of the kids to help with this). The ribbon symbolizes eternity. Now, take a pencil such as this and make a mark anywhere on that ribbon. Any idea what that ...read more

Tags: Salvation

Denomination: Methodist

Army Of The Lord

Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Sep 12, 2011

ARMY OF THE LORD A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside. The Pastor said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!" My friend replied, "I'm ...read more

Tags: Church Body Of Christ

Denomination: Independent/Bible

Five-Year-Old Suri Cruise, The Daughter Movie ...

Contributed by Paul Barreca on Dec 24, 2011

Five-year-old Suri Cruise, the daughter movie stars Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise, was seen last week throwing a temper tantrum in toy store. This is a five-year-old girl with a $130,000 Christmas wish list including a $100,000 pony! (Originally Published: Friday, December 23 2011) It’s hard to ...read more

Scripture: Isaiah 7:14

Tags: Materialism

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Are You In The Secret Service?

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Jul 2, 2023

A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside. The Pastor said to him, “You need to join the Army of the Lord!” My friend replied, “I’m already in the Army ...read more

Scripture: Hebrews 10:25

Tags: Faithfulness, Pastors, Attendance, Service, Church, Worship  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Taking Your Cut

Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Feb 22, 2025

A lady lost her handbag in the bustle of Christmas shopping. It was found by an honest little boy and returned to her. Looking in her purse, she commented, "That's funny. When I lost my bag there was only a $100 bill in it. Now there are five $20 bills." The boy quickly replied, ...read more

Tags: Self Interest, Shrewd

Denomination: Independent/Bible

An Elderly Couple Passed Away And Found ...  PRO

Contributed by Jim Kilson on May 6, 2006

An elderly couple passed away and found themselves at the pearly gates. Peter was there to welcome them. First he showed them their mansion. The man overwhelmed by the sheer luxury of it all asked, "How much does this place cost per night?" Peter replied, "Sir, this is Heaven, it doesn’t cost ...read more

Tags: Heaven

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

Afterlife

Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007

Afterlife An elderly couple passed away and found themselves at the pearly gates. Peter was there to welcome them. First he showed them their mansion. The man overwhelmed by the sheer luxury of it all asked, "How much does this place cost per night?" Peter replied, "Sir, this is Heaven, it doesn’t ...read more

Tags: God's Provision

Sure Is Hot Down Here  PRO

Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Dec 3, 2007

We have many jokes about the subject of hell. Consider the supposed story of the Illinois man who left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his ...read more

Tags: Vacation

Denomination: Independent/Bible

People Matter

Contributed by Sermon Central on Aug 10, 2011

PEOPLE MATTER One woman told the time her professor in nursing school gave a pop quiz. She said "I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions, until I read the last one: 'What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?'" She thought: "Surely this was some kind ...read more

Scripture: John 10:14

Tags: Christian Values

Famous Last Words

Contributed by Dr. Larry Petton on Jan 31, 2021

FAMOUS LAST WORDS..... 1. Charles Gussman was a writer and TV announcer, who wrote the pilot episode of Days of Our Lives, among other shows. As he became ill, he said he wanted his last words to be memorable. When he daughter reminded him of this, he gently removed his oxygen mask and whispered: ...read more

Scripture: 2 Timothy 4:6-8

Tags: Paul, Death, Farewell, Last Words

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Room After All  PRO

Contributed by Darren Ethier on May 21, 2002

ROOM AFTER ALL This is the story of a nine year-old boy named Wallace Purling. Larger than most kids, he was also slow in mind. But the children all liked him. He was so much bigger than they, but he never bullied them. In fact, he was the ever-present defender of the smaller boys. Wally wanted ...read more

Denomination: Pentecostal

Diverse Gifts  PRO

Contributed by A. Todd Coget on May 16, 2003

[illustration] On Christmas morning, the children in a family do not usually all receive the same gifts. One gets a football, one a puzzle, another receives a doll house, and another a table game. Yet, although each child does not receive the same gifts as the others, the parents intend the gifts ...read more

Tags: Gifts General, God's Provision, God The Father

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

The Lion, The Witch, And The Wardrobe" The ...  PRO

Contributed by Dan Waite on Nov 25, 2005

“The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe” the citizens of Narnia have lived under what seems to be an endless winter in discouragement and fear. However, there are rumors, coupled with hopes that “Aslan is on the move” and when He arrives He will right all wrongs. ("Wrong will be right,/When Aslan ...read more

Tags: Narnia

Denomination: Free Methodist

A Man Came To The Church I Was Serving. He ...

Contributed by Russell Brownworth on Jun 25, 2009

A man came to the church I was serving. He needed help on Christmas Eve. After giving him some food I asked him where he goes to church. He never goes. I told him he was welcome here. He said, “I know I need God; He’s the only one who will never turn His back on you.” The man was ...read more

Tags: Repentance

Denomination: United Methodist

Years Ago, A Very Wealthy Man Shared With His ...

Contributed by Revd. Martin Dale on Dec 20, 2007

Years ago, a very wealthy man shared with his devoted young son a passion for art collecting. Together they travelled the world, adding only the finest art treasures to their collection. Priceless works by Picasso, Van Gogh, Monet and many others adorned the walls of the family estate. The ...read more

Denomination: Anglican

What God Can Do For Us  PRO

Contributed by K. Edward Skidmore on Apr 22, 2008

WHAT GOD CAN DO FOR US A young pastor in another church told about an experience he had with a family who tended to be the "Easter and Christmas" variety of church attendees. A young woman in the family became critically ill. The prognosis was bad. In fact, doctors expected she might die within ...read more

Tags: Hardship Of Life

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ