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In Sermon Illustrations: "Christmas Jokes"

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  • Losing Jesus

    Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Dec 13, 2010
     | 3,376 views

    LOSING JESUS For about 14 years, I have been teaching AWANA. I teach each of our three division, beginning with a puppet skit and then a flannel graph lesson with felt figures. I taught the Christmas Story to the Sparks, K-2nd grade, then I moved everything into the auditorium to teach the Flames ...read more

  • The Perfect ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Aug 11, 2008
    based on 2 ratings
     | 7,283 views

    THE PERFECT STORY The story is told about a perfect man who met a perfect woman. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect. Then one stormy, Christmas Eve this perfect couple was driving along a winding road when they noticed someone on ...read more

  • Some Of You Here Tonnight Will Be In That Same ...

    Contributed by Aubrey Vaughan on Dec 18, 2008
     | 1,075 views

    SOME OF YOU HERE TONNIGHT WILL BE IN THAT SAME PREDICAMENT - STILL IN YOUR TRESPASSES AND SINS, BUT THE WHY OF CHRISTMAS MEANS YOU CAN BE REDEEMED AND MADE A CHILD OF GOD. I WANT TO TELL YOU ABOUT A TRUE STORY TO DRIVE THIS TRUTH HOME TONIGHT. IT’S TOLD BY ERNEST GORDON INFACT THERE IS A FILM ...read more

  • In The Secret Service  PRO

    Contributed by Abraham Shanklin on May 19, 2003
    based on 15 ratings
     | 5,372 views

    In the Secret Service A gentleman was in front of a preacher coming out of the church one day. The preacher grabbed him by the hand, pulled him aside and said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!" The man replied, "I’m already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor." The Pastor questioned, ...read more

  • A Letter To Santa  PRO

    Contributed by Darren Ethier on May 21, 2002
    based on 8 ratings
     | 3,352 views

    A LETTER TO SANTA: Dear Santa Claus: You’ll probably be surprised to receive this letter from an adult. You may be even more surprised as you read it to find that the writer is neither a maiden aunt nor a disgruntled bachelor. I’m a young mother. It isn’t my intention, Santa, to hurt your ...read more

  • The Spilled Fruit Salad!  PRO

    Contributed by Wade Martin Hughes, Sr on Dec 8, 2003
    based on 4 ratings
     | 2,674 views

    THE SPILLED FRUIT SALAD! Here is a bowl of fruit salad for you! I always make fruit salad for Christmas, it has been a family tradition for many years. While at home, my Mom and Dad always received a lot of fruit for Christmas. We would always make fruit salad out of the fruit and top it with ...read more

  • As Our Messiah Jesus Is Coming Again To Usher In ...  PRO

    Contributed by R. David Reynolds on Jan 22, 2007
    based on 2 ratings
     | 2,016 views

    As our Messiah Jesus is coming again to usher in His Millennial reign over the world as our rightful King of Kings and Prince of Peace. Moody Bible Institute publishes the daily devotional guide TODAY IN THE WORD. The devotional for June 19, 1992, contained this observation: A group of ...read more

  • Hottubs And Jesus  PRO

    Contributed by Mike Wilkins on Feb 26, 2002
    based on 12 ratings
     | 3,402 views

    HOTTUBS AND JESUS “The other day ...as I sat there savoring hot tubness, cracking small jokes and adjusting to the feel of being bubbled over from all angles, it struck me that the hot tub is the perfect symbol of the modern route in religion. The hot tub experience is sensuous, relaxing, floppy, ...read more

  • More Incorrect  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jan 20, 2003
    based on 4 ratings
     | 3,191 views

    *More Incorrect* Two young engineers applied for a single position at a computer company. They both had the same qualifications. In order to determine which individual to hire, the applicants were asked to take a test by the department manager. Upon completion of the test, both men missed only ...read more

  • Immortal Horrors Or Everlasting Splendours  PRO

    Contributed by Tom Mccrossan on Dec 10, 2003
    based on 3 ratings
     | 2,529 views

    IMMORTAL HORRORS OR EVERLASTING SPLENDOURS C. S. Lewis wrote in the Weight of Glory, There are no ordinary people. It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you talk to may one day be a creature which, ...read more

  • The Sign Next To The Expressionless Face Said: ...  PRO

    Contributed by Rodney Buchanan on May 30, 2004
    based on 2 ratings
     | 4,127 views

    The sign next to the expressionless face said: “The Motionless Man: Make Him Laugh. Win $100.” So several people gave it all they had. For hours they pulled their faces into strange contortions, told jokes, made fun of him, did stunts — but nothing worked. He was totally unmoved and his face ...read more

  • There Was A Story I Read The Other Day, About 2 ...  PRO

    Contributed by Cameron Smith on Jun 3, 2006
    based on 3 ratings
     | 1,845 views

    There was a story I read the other day, about 2 friends who were sitting in a pub watching the eleven-o’clock news at night. A report comes on about a man threatening to jump from the 20th floor of a downtown building One friend turns to the other and says, "I’ll bet you ten bucks the guy doesn’t ...read more

  • On Tuesday Night, We Went Around To A Friend's ...

    Contributed by Ross Cochrane on Jan 13, 2010
     | 1,133 views

    On Tuesday night, we went around to a friend's place with a group of young leaders to share with them some insights – you know, from the vast accumulated wisdom of our years (Just joking – more like from the mistakes we have made). They did something so precious to us – they gathered around at the ...read more

  • Card-Carrying Authority

    Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Jun 22, 2010
    based on 2 ratings
     | 5,316 views

    CARD-CARRYING AUTHORITY A Department of Water Resources representative stops at a Texas ranch and talks with an old rancher. He tells the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for your water allocation." The old rancher says, "Okay, but don't go in that field over there." The Water ...read more

  • People Matter

    Contributed by Bill Butsko on Apr 13, 2012
     | 2,767 views

    PEOPLE MATTER During my second month of nursing school, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions, until I read the last one: 'What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?" Surely, this was some kind of joke. I had seen ...read more

  • Take For Instance What Happened To General Von ...

    Contributed by Larry Vinson on Jun 17, 2008
     | 1,499 views

    Take for instance what happened to General Von Zealand from Prussia. The Prussian king Frederick the Great was widely known as an agnostic. By contrast, General Von Zealand, one of his most trusted officers, was a devout Christian. Thus it was that during a festive gathering the king began making ...read more

  • Charles Spurgeon- Did You Ever See A Perfect ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
     | 1,775 views

    Charles Spurgeon- Did you ever see a perfect man? I did once. He called upon me, and wanted me to come and see him, for I should get great instruction from him if I did. I said, "I have no doubt of it, but I should not like to come into your house; I think I should be unable to get into your room." ...read more

  • In 1951 Comedian Red Skelton And A Party Of ...

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
     | 2,934 views

    In 1951 comedian Red Skelton and a party of friends flew to Europe, where Skelton was to appear at the London Palladium. As they were flying over the Swiss Alps, three of the airplane’s engines failed. The situation looked very grave and the passengers began to pray. Skelton went into one of his ...read more

  • In His Book In The Eye Of The Storm, Max Lucado ...  PRO

    Contributed by Jeremy Houck on Jun 4, 2005
    based on 4 ratings
     | 8,513 views

    In his book In the Eye of the Storm, Max Lucado tells about something that happened to him while he was in high school. Every year, he and his family used to go fishing during spring break. But one year, his brother and his mom couldn’t go, so his dad let him invite a friend. They looked forward ...read more

  • Love Her Or Loathe Her, Winfrey Has Become Proof ...

    Contributed by Paul Wallace on Sep 20, 2006
     | 955 views

    Love her or loathe her, Winfrey has become proof that you can’t be too rich, too thin or too committed to rising to your place in the world. With 49 million viewers each week in the USA and more in the 122 other countries to which the show is distributed, Winfrey reaches more people in a TV day ...read more