A young woodsman came into a store one day to buy a new axe. He manually chopped down trees. He saw an advertisement on the counter a chainsaw. The advertisement said, “Will cut down ten times the trees that can be cut by a hand axe.” 
Well, the woodsman seeing this for the first time got very
                    
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                    Denomination: 
                    Baptist
                
             
        
        
            
                
                
                    Contributed by Andrew Chan on Apr 20, 2002
                
                
                
                    What some people won’t do for money. 
In an attempt to collect 40,000 euros ($44,780) in insurance payments, a 58-year-old German landscape gardener had a friend cut off his thumb and forefinger with a chainsaw.
According to authorities, the gardener held onto a cutting board while his accomplice,
                    
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                    Denomination: 
                    Evangelical Free
                
             
        
        
            
                
                
                    Contributed by Tom Doubt on Oct 29, 2003
                
                
                    
            
            
            
            
            
        based on  1 rating
                    
                         | 2,135 views
                    
                 
                
                    The first 2 trees that fell at our house hit the garage.  I went outside to get my chainsaw out of my truck to cut some limbs to get our generator in position. Kathie followed me outside.  I turned and yelled for her to get back in the house. Returning with the chainsaw, I saw a tree topple where
                    
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                    Denomination: 
                    Baptist
                
             
        
        
            
                
                
                    Contributed by Merv Budd on Nov 1, 2005
                
                
                    
            
            
            
            
            
        based on  2 ratings
                    
                         | 1,802 views
                    
                 
                
                    	You may have heard of the story of the old lumberman who came into a store and said he’d like to buy a chainsaw because he had heard that they were quicker and easier for cutting down trees than his old one man saw. So he comes back a few days later and says the saw’s broken he wanted a
                    
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                    Denomination: 
                    Baptist
                
             
        
            
            
                
                
                    Contributed by  Rick D Brackett on Feb 15, 2008
                
                
                    
            
            
            
            
            
        based on  2 ratings
                    
                         | 3,106 views
                    
                 
                
                    A man went to his neighbor and asked to borrow his chain saw. The man said, “I can’t, because I’m eating black-eyed peas”. The
neighbor said, “No, I’m serious, I have a tree laying in my drive way and I need to borrow your chain-saw” The man said, “I can’t be-
cause I’m eating black-eyed peas”. The
                    
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                    Denomination: 
                    Church Of God
                
             
        
        
            
                
                
                    Contributed by Gene Gregory on Jul 23, 2007
                
                
                    
            
            
            
            
            
        based on  2 ratings
                    
                         | 1,091 views
                    
                 
                
                    Growing up, the only source of heat we had in the house was a fireplace. Each winter it was my brother & my responsibility to keep the wood box full.
Now, in the early days my dad thought that we were too young to use the chainsaw, so the majority of the wood we used we had to cut with an axe. It
                    
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                    Denomination: 
                    Baptist
                
             
        
        
            
                
                
                
                    
            
            
            
            
            
        based on  1 rating
                    
                         | 4,209 views
                    
                 
                
                    WHAT'S THAT NOISE?
I read a humorous story about a man who strolled out of a hardware store with a smile on his face and a brand-new chainsaw in his hands. He was told it could cut down five big oak trees in an hour. Twenty-four hours later, however, his smile was gone. Frustrated, he was back at
                    
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                    Denomination: 
                    Baptist
                
             
        
        
            
                
                
                    Contributed by Stephen Evoy on Dec 14, 2007
                
                
                    
            
            
            
            
            
        based on  1 rating
                    
                         | 2,951 views
                    
                 
                
                    The first year I was a pastor, I didn’t take any vacation.  Early in my second year, I heard a story about two lumberjacks.  One lumberjack worked so hard that he refused to take any breaks—even to sharpen his chainsaw.  The other lumberjack took fairly frequent breaks, and he spent a lot of time
                    
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                    Denomination: 
                    Free Methodist
                
             
        
        
            
                
                
                    Contributed by Kent Kessler on Mar 24, 2007
                
                
                
                    The year was 1992. A man was on parole for child molesting. His fellow apartment renters complained of odors and chainsaw noises. When the police searched his apartment, they found it full of skulls, headless torsos and body parts. He would murder, mutilate and sometimes cannibalized boys and men.
                    
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                    Denomination: 
                    Methodist
                
             
        
            
            
        
        
            
        
        
            
                
                
                    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 11, 2002
                
                
                    
            
            
            
            
            
        based on  36 ratings
                    
                         | 3,885 views
                    
                 
                
                    8 SIMPLE RULES FOR DATING MY DAUGHTER
When I was in high school I used to be terrified of my girlfriend’s father, who I believe suspected me of wanting to place my hands on his daughter’s chest. He would open the door and immediately affect a good-naturedly murderous expression, holding out a
                    
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