based on 7 ratings
| 3,169 views
Humor Illustration: CHRISTIAN FOOTBALL!!
Quarterback Sneak - Church members quietly leaving during the invitation.
Draw Play - What many children do with the bulletin during worship.
Half-time - The period between Sunday school and worship when many choose to leave.
Benchwarmer - Those who do
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Denomination:
Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Chip Monck on Mar 1, 2005
Richard Foster in Celebration of Discipline - “Celebration is at the heart of the way of Christ. He entered the world on a high note of jubilation: ‘I bring you good news of a great joy,’ cried the angel, ‘which shall come to all the people.’ He left the world bequeathing his joy to the
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Denomination:
Wesleyan
Contributed by Kenneth Burisek on Apr 12, 2005
based on 6 ratings
| 16,403 views
One day in the South Pacific, a navy ship saw smoke coming from one of three huts on an uncharted island.
Upon arriving at the shore they were met by a shipwreck survivor. He said, "I’m so glad you’re here! I’ve been alone on this island for more than five years!"
The captain replied, "If
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Denomination:
Independent/Bible
Contributed by Fred Sigle on Apr 20, 2005
based on 5 ratings
| 5,894 views
A PARAMEDIC was asked on a local Dallas TV talk-show program: “What was your most unusual and challenging 911 call?”
“Recently,” paramedic began, we got a call from that big white CHURCH on 11th and Walnut. A frantic usher was very concerned that during their WORSHIP service an elderly man
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Denomination:
Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Jeff Simms on May 15, 2005
based on 2 ratings
| 2,287 views
“Labor is no substitute for love; neither is purity a substitute for passion. The church must have both if
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Denomination:
Baptist
Contributed by Pat Cook on May 16, 2005
based on 11 ratings
| 2,008 views
In an old Peanuts cartoon, Lucy demanded that her brother Linus change TV channels and then threatened him with her fist if he didn’t.
"What makes you think you can walk right in here and take over?" asked Linus.
"These five fingers," said Lucy. "Individually they are nothing, but when I
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Denomination:
Baptist
Contributed by Larry Jacobs on Aug 12, 2005
based on 1 rating
| 4,719 views
JOKE: I am reminded of the story of the fellow that always fell asleep during the pastor’s sermon. The wife had decided to keep him awake - so she took a large hat pin with the intention of sticking him with it when he nodded off. Sure enough, right in the middle of the pastor’s message, he
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Denomination:
Baptist
Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Sep 6, 2005
based on 8 ratings
| 1,353 views
Jewish synagogues have their problems too; many congregations develop their own traditions, and they can fight over tradition, which is very important to them:
During a service at an old synagogue in Eastern Europe, when the Shema prayer was said, half the congregants stood up and half remained
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Denomination:
Independent/Bible
Contributed by Bruce Ball on Oct 24, 2005
based on 2 ratings
| 3,072 views
Cowboy Joe was had just come back from going to church for the first time, and was in the bunkhouse telling the other cowhands about his experience.
He said, “When I got there, I parked my pick-me-up in the corral. Charlie, a worldly cowboy said, “That would be the parking lot, Joe.”
Joe
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Denomination:
*other
Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 8, 2005
based on 2 ratings
| 1,781 views
A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One bright little girl
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Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 8, 2005
based on 5 ratings
| 2,378 views
The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he preached, he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mike cord as he went. Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and nearly tripping before jerking it again. After several circles and jerks, a little girl in the
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Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 8, 2005
based on 17 ratings
| 2,764 views
Believe it or not, the following announcements actually appeared in various church bulletins.
1. Don’t let worry kill you -- let the church help.
2. Thursday night - Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
3. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
4.
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Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 12, 2005
based on 4 ratings
| 3,741 views
Jonathan Whitfield was preaching to coal miners in England. He asked one man, “What do you believe?”
“Well, I believe the same as the church.”
“And what does the church believe?” “Well, they believe the same as me.”
Seeing he was getting nowhere, Whitfield said,
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Sermon Central