Contributed by Gordon Curley on Nov 15, 2010
THE £1.50 HEARING AID
An elderly man stopped at a hearing aid centre and asked about prices. The salesman said, "We have them from £25,000 down to £1.50."
"What's the £25,000 one like?"
The salesman said, "Well, it translates three languages."
"And what about the one for £1.50?"
"It's this
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Brethren
Contributed by Gordon Curley on Nov 22, 2010
THE END OF THE BEGINNING
During the second world war November 1942, as Hitler's Luftwaffe had invaded English skies, Britain was feeling the dread of his enlarging shadow. The country was asking the question "How long can they endure the unrelenting darkness of their situation?"
Prime Minister
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Brethren
Contributed by Gordon Curley on Nov 23, 2010
WHAT WILL THEY SAY?
A minister, a priest and a rabbi die and go to heaven for orientation. They are all asked, "When you are in your casket, and friends, family, and congregants are mourning over you, what would you like to hear them say?"
The minister says, "I would like to hear them say that I
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Brethren
Contributed by Gordon Curley on Nov 27, 2010
LUTHER'S DREAM
In a dream, Martin Luther found himself being attacked by Satan. The devil unrolled a long scroll containing a list of Luther's sins and held it before him. On reaching the end of the scroll Luther asked the devil, "Is that all?"
"No," came the reply, and a second scroll was
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Brethren
OUR LOVE SO FAINT, THINE SO GREAT
The great hymn writer, Isaac Watts, once asked in a hymn: "Dear Lord, and shall we ever live at this poor dying rate? Our love so faint, so cold to Thee, and Thine to us so great?"
Likely so, unless God himself startles us and shakes us free from our complacency.
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Presbyterian/Reformed
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WHAT WE CAN LEARN FROM NOAH
God has much too teach us, one person observed a few things they learned from Noah:
1. Don't miss the boat!
2. Plan ahead. It wasnt raining when Noah built the ark.
3. Stay ready. It was not until Noah was 600 years old that God asked him to do
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Baptist
Contributed by Davon Huss on Jan 16, 2012
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SO HUNGRY
The silence of the congregation partaking of the Lord’s Supper was suddenly broken by a loud exclamation. A 5-year-old girl was watching that passing out of the bread and juice and asked her mother is she could take some. Her mother said that she was not old enough to take some. With
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Christian/Church Of Christ
Contributed by Curry Pikkaart on Aug 15, 2012
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COMMUNICATION PROBLEMS
A woman went to court and told the judge she wanted a divorce. "Do you have any grounds?" the judge asked.
"Just two acres," she replied.
"That's not it, lady. I mean, do you have a grudge?"
"No, we park the car in the front of the house."
Frustrated, the judge
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Presbyterian/Reformed
Contributed by Tim Smith on Oct 21, 2012
THE GIFT OF THEIR LIVES
A Dutch pastor was helping Jews escape the Nazis when he himself caught. He was loaded into a boxcar with several Jews and others to be sent to a concentration camp. It was a long, frightening journey through the night. Finally the train stopped, the doors opened, and
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Methodist
Contributed by Spencer Miller on May 26, 2013
Michael Jordan is probably the greatest basketball player in the history of the game, and at one time he was asked about the so-called secret of his success. And Mr. Jordan answered by saying; "I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted
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Baptist
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Gandhi, wrote in his autobiography that in his student days he was truly interested in the Bible. Deeply touched by reading the Gospels, he seriously considered becoming a convert, since Christianity seemed to offer the real solution to the caste system that was dividing the people of India.
One
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Evangelical/Non-Denominational
Contributed by Jimmy Chapman on May 10, 2007
Many years ago, a survey was made of a town. At a certain door, the surveyor asked the woman who answered the door, if she had any children.
Suddenly, she began to say, "Well, there’s Willie, Horace, Orace, Grace, and Ethel." The surveyor interrupted and said, "Never mind names, I just want
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Denomination:
Baptist
Contributed by Donnie Martin on Jun 11, 2007
British sculptor Sir Jacob Epstein was once visited in his studio by the eminent author and fellow Briton, George Bernard Shaw. The visitor noticed a huge block of stone standing in one corner and asked what it was for.
“I don’t know yet. I’m still making plans.”
Shaw was astounded. “You mean you
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Denomination:
Baptist
Contributed by Donnie Martin on Jun 11, 2007
As the Union Pacific Railroad was being constructed, an elaborate trestle bridge was built across a large canyon in the West. Wanting to test the bridge, the builder loaded a train with enough extra cars and equipment to double its normal payload. The train was then driven to the middle of the
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Baptist
Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 18, 2007
based on 5 ratings
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A guest in a hotel in L.A. told the desk clerk he wanted to take a walking tour of the city but was terrified by all he had heard about the traffic. He asked about the safest time to venture out.
The clerk was equal to the task. He said the safest time is Sunday morning. All the Jewish folk are
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Sermon Central