Contributed by Gordon Curley on Nov 21, 2010
GREY HAIRS
A little girl sat on the bed pestering her mum with questions while mum was in a hurry to get changed and go out. Watching her mother looking in the mirror and plucking out the grey hairs on her head she asked, "Mummy, why do you have some grey hairs?"
Her mother replied, "Because
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Brethren
Contributed by Gordon Curley on Nov 23, 2010
You know when you are growing old when...
* Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work,
* Your knees buckle and your belt won't.
* Your back goes out more often than you do.
* You know all the answers but no one asks the questions.
* Your mind makes agreements your body can't keep.
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Brethren
Contributed by Gordon Curley on Nov 29, 2010
THE CURE
Mrs Smith was so happy: "I’ve cured my husband of biting his nails."
I replied, "How did you manage to do that?"
"Simple,"
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Brethren
Contributed by Gordon Curley on Nov 29, 2010
THE MAN WHO CAME FOR THE BLIND
A fellow in our office told us recently of a household incident of which he had been an innocent but perplexed spectator. Our friend had called a Venetian-blind repairman to come pick up a faulty blind, and the next morning, while the family was seated at the
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Brethren
Contributed by Jeff Ecklund on Jan 28, 2011
WHERE HAVE ALL THE OLD MEN GONE?
Why do we get outdated and obsolete? Why are there so few over fifty that are on the cutting edge? Cabeb, feisty old die-hard that he was, wouldn’t understand. At eighty-five he stormed the heights,
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*other
A LOT BETTER JOB
A little girl crawled up into her great grandmother's lap one day. And looking up into her great grandmother's face she saw all those lines and wrinkles.
Then she felt her own smooth skin. She said to her great grandmother, "Did God make you?"
Her great grandmother said,
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Independent/Bible
Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Aug 15, 2011
YOU KNOW YOU'RE GETTING OLD WHEN...
• You hear your favorite song on an elevator.
• You watch the Weather Channel.
• You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
• You try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren't wearing any.
• When you say something to your
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Independent/Bible
Contributed by Larry Wilson on Sep 2, 2011
WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE...
A young man who was also an avid golfer found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon. He figured if he hurried and played very fast, he could get in 9 holes before he had to head home.
Just as he was about to tee off, an old gentleman shuffled onto the tee and
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Baptist
Contributed by Gordon Curley on Sep 4, 2011
THE HERE...AFTER
A vicar was talking to one of his parishioners. He said, "When you get to my age you spend a lot more time thinking about the hereafter."
"Why do you say that?" enquires the parishioner.
The vicar replies, "Well, I
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Brethren
WHITENING FAST
When Dr. Rees was waiting to preach, a friend commended to him, "You sure are whitening fast!" He got up and said this from the pulpit: "There is a little white flower that comes up through the earth at this season of the year - sometimes it comes up through the snow and frost; but
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Baptist
Contributed by Tim Smith on Feb 19, 2012
50-SOMETHINGS FOR JESUS
At the age of 58, Tom and Elaine Samply cashed out their retirements and moved to the Czech Republic and opened a coffee shop called Common Grounds where he taught business principles to atheists. After they were there for six years, they had enough business that they
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Methodist
Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Mar 26, 2012
101-year-old Grandmother Sets Paragliding Record (WATCH)
By Good News Network Thursday, March 22, 2012
Not wanting to be outdone by her 75-year-old paragliding son, Mary Allen Hardison of Ogden, Utah, took flight on her birthday, becoming the "Oldest Female to Paraglide Tandem" -- an achievement
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Independent/Bible
Contributed by Scott Jensen on Mar 29, 2012
WHAT I WOULDN'T GIVE...
When Oliver Wendell Holmes was still on the U.S. Supreme Court, he and Justice Louis Brandeis took walks every afternoon. On one of these occasions Holmes, then ninety-two, paused to gaze in frank admiration at a beautiful young girl who passed them. He even turned to look
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Lutheran
Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Jun 13, 2012
based on 3 ratings
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A MEMENTO
Seeing her friend Sally wearing a new locket, Meg asks if there is a memento of some sort inside.
"Yes," says Sally, "a lock of my husband's hair."
"But Larry's still
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Independent/Bible
Contributed by Gordon Curley on Oct 20, 2012
CURING NAIL-BITING
Talking of bad habits I did hear the story of an elderly couple. The wife proudly boasted that "she had cured her husband of biting his nails."
When someone asked her, "How did you manage
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Brethren
Contributed by Perry Greene on Jan 29, 2013
NO GREEN BANANAS
Approaching 85 years of age, Mrs. Wells finally decided it was time to give up her home in North Carolina and move to Miami. She was given the name of a Florida realtor, who enthusiastically drove her all over Miami, extolling the virtues of every apartment they looked at.
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Christian/Church Of Christ
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