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In Sermon Illustrations: "Funny"

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  • What Is A Grandparent?

    Contributed by Johnny Creasong on Sep 10, 2007
    based on 1 rating
     | 1,739 views

    What is a Grandparent? Taken from papers written by a class of 8 year olds: - Grandparents are a lady and a man who have no little children of their own. They like other people’s. - A grandfather is a man grandmother. - Grandparents don’t have to do anything except be there when we come to see ...read more

  • One Day A Man Went Out Walking In The Woods. He ...  PRO

    Contributed by Keith Broyles on Oct 4, 2007
    based on 2 ratings
     | 3,800 views

    One day a man went out walking in the woods. He really wasn’t paying much attention to what was going on around him or to where he was. He was just walking aimlessly through the forest. As he walked he came to the edge of a sharp cliff. Like I said, he wasn’t paying much attention to where he ...read more

  • Today...we're Going To Look At An Example From A ...

    Contributed by Mike Rexroat on Nov 5, 2007
     | 1,412 views

    today...we’re going to look at an example from a very deep movie...Funny Farm. I’m sure all of you recognize the title...it’s probably in your library right beside all of the Charlton Heston movies. On the slim chance that you aren’t familiar with this particular movie let me give you a brief ...read more

  • I've Been Reading A Book By A Pastor Named Erwin ...

    Contributed by K. Edward Skidmore on Apr 22, 2008
    based on 1 rating
     | 2,602 views

    I've been reading a book by a pastor named Erwin Rafael McManus. He tells about a conversation he had with his daughter, Mariah. He was explaining that Christians often face danger and even death. His daughter asked, "Has anyone ever tried to kill you, Daddy?" And he answered, "Sort of." She ...read more

  • Good News

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Dec 31, 2008
    based on 3 ratings
     | 6,136 views

    GOOD NEWS Our world is desperately in need of some good news. Suzanne Jennings wrote this song in 1999: I woke up Monday morning, walked out on the lawn My eyes were barely open, and my mouth began to yawn Picked up the daily paper, every single headline said, That this ole world is full of ...read more

  • The Adultery Market

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 27, 2009
     | 3,665 views

    THE ADULTERY MARKET Many of us have seen the wild and funny TV ads that go along with the Super Bowl. But fans in Texas got quite a shock during the game this year. An ad by AshleyMadison.com was seen as inappropriate by the NFL and NBC. But local affiliates in Texas decided that the $250,000 for ...read more

  • The Gentlemen's Guide On What Not To Get Your ...  PRO

    Contributed by Bruce Rzengota on Dec 28, 2009
    based on 3 ratings
     | 1,999 views

    The Gentlemen’s Guide on What Not to Get Your Wife for Christmas #10: A Vacuum Cleaner The only possible way to make this a cool gift would be to give the hands-down coolest vacuum cleaner of all time... which I’m afraid hasn’t been invented yet and probably never will be, considering that there ...read more

  • They Say A Woman Is Never Prettier Than On Her ...

    Contributed by Jorge Acevedo on Feb 17, 2010
     | 2,902 views

    They say a woman is never prettier than on her wedding day. She is beaming! I thought, why? Is it the makeup? Not really, girls wear make up all the time. Is it the dress? Nope, though wedding dresses are usually pretty not all of them are stunningly beautiful. People lie, though, and they’ll tell ...read more

  • Where Do Wrinkles Come From?

    Contributed by James Snyder on Jun 12, 2021
     | 1,254 views

    Several months ago, I had two cataracts removed from my eyes. How they got there, I don't know. As far as I can remember, they never asked my permission, and furthermore, they never paid rent for being there. According to the eye doctor, and doctors are never wrong, I now have 2020 vision. ...read more

  • Who’s The Clown Now?

    Contributed by James Snyder on Nov 5, 2022
     | 1,111 views

    As a young person, I was fascinated with clowns. My first encounter was at a circus I attended with my family. The main character in the circus was the clown. When I first saw those clowns, I was scared almost to death. I've never seen anything as scary as those circus clowns. That began my ...read more

  • Norman Cousins Was Diagnosed As Having An ...  PRO

    Contributed by Melvin Newland on Nov 13, 2001
    based on 51 ratings
     | 4,800 views

    Norman Cousins was diagnosed as having an incurable disease. He was bedridden & the doctors gave him no hope at all. So he decided on his own treatment. His family got a movie projector & rented all the Charlie Chaplin & Abbott & Costello movies that they could find - movies where you just sit ...read more

  • The Comparison Game

    Contributed by Andrew Chan on May 9, 2002
     | 3,833 views

    The Comparison Game There was a new mom who told this story: “I shouldn’t have been upset, but I must admit I was. My doctor released me from the hospital only two days after my baby was born because my mother would be here to help me. I had been home only about an hour when the doorbell rang. ...read more

  • The Leo Burnett Advertising Agency Did A ...  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 10, 2002
    based on 19 ratings
     | 4,328 views

    The Leo Burnett advertising agency did a nationwide telephone survey a few years ago on lying, cataloging when we lie, how we lie, and why we lie. The results were interesting. Ninety-one percent of all Americans confessed that they regularly lied. Seventy-nine percent had given out ...read more

  • You're Not Old Unless You Can Remember...  PRO

    Contributed by Sermon Central on Jun 17, 2002
    based on 9 ratings
     | 2,914 views

    YOU’RE NOT OLD UNLESS YOU CAN REMEMBER... ...being sent to the drugstore to test vacuum tubes for the TV. ...when Kool-Aid was the only other drink for kids, other than milk and sodas. ...when there were two types of sneakers for boys: high tops and low tops. ...when boys couldn’t wear ...read more

  • In My Younger, More Foolish Days, There Was A ...

    Contributed by Jeremy Morford on Jul 27, 2006
     | 2,386 views

    In my younger, more foolish days, there was a game that I liked to play that my wife didn’t like very much. We’d be driving down the highway, when I’d notice that the fuel gage was getting close to empty. My wife’s preference at this point, was for me to stop at the nearest gas station, while I ...read more

  • At One Time, Mike Tyson Was The Most Feared ...  PRO

    Contributed by Rodney Buchanan on Nov 13, 2006
    based on 5 ratings
     | 1,539 views

    At one time, Mike Tyson was the most feared heavyweight boxer in the ring. Jon Saraceno interviewed Tyson for USA Today. In the interview, Tyson was honest as he reviewed his life. The article says, “Almost 39, he is anything but at peace. Confused and humiliated after a decadent lifestyle ...read more

  • God Gives A Warning, A Serious Warning. Wise And ...

    Contributed by Bobby Scobey on Jun 19, 2007
    based on 2 ratings
     | 2,395 views

    God gives a warning, a serious warning. Wise and sensitive souls respond quickly to the warning. Others do not. Charles Swindoll said he and his wife Cynthia were flying from Portland to Los Angeles after a pastors’ conference. After the flight reached cruising altitude, meals were being ...read more

  • Marriage License: A Learner's Permit  PRO

    Contributed by Jim Erwin on Dec 12, 2007
    based on 5 ratings
     | 3,385 views

    Marriage License: A Learner’s Permit It’s a wise groom who has to be dragged to the altar. He knows what love is. It’s death. If lovers don’t know this, they are headed for trouble. Never will you have your way again. You can’t be happy if this other person isn’t. No matter who wins the argument, ...read more

  • Ever Seen A Picture Of A Platypus?

    Contributed by Brian Harvison on Apr 6, 2008
     | 1,315 views

    Ever seen a picture of a platypus? Strand creature these things are They live on the east coast of Australia The bizarre appearance of this mammal baffled European naturalists when they first encountered it, with some considering it an elaborate fraud First off it is a mammal ¡V that lays eggs It ...read more

  • Is It Time For You, O Ye, To Dwell In Your ...

    Contributed by David Moore on May 30, 2008
     | 1,345 views

    1. “Is it time for you, O ye, to dwell in your cieled houses, and this house lie waste?” Isn’t is funny how we always have reasons why we cannot serve God, but we always find the time and the money to serve ourselves? Someone put it this way: • Isn’t it strange how a 20 pound note seems like such ...read more