Contributed by Gordon Curley on Dec 31, 2011
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THE GRIZZLY AND THE SKUNK
Dale Carnegie once noted that there was only animal that the grizzly bear would allow to eat with him. That animal is the skunk.
Grizzly bears in Yellowstone Park often come to eat at the place where garbage is dumped. This huge bear can fight and beat almost any animal
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Contributed by Gordon Curley on Dec 17, 2011
I OWE MY LIFE TWICE
A wealthy English family once invited friends to spend some time at their beautiful estate. The happy occasion was almost plunged into a terrible tragedy on the first day. Because the children went swimming, and one of them got into deep water and started drowning.
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Contributed by Gordon Curley on Dec 4, 2011
THE HISTORY OF HAPPY BIRTHDAY
In the secular world, Happy Birthday is the best known song in the English speaking world. The song's base lyrics have been translated into at least 18 languages.
It was written in 1893 by 2 sisters: Mildred J. Hill came up with the tune, and her sister Patty added
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Contributed by Gordon Curley on Dec 4, 2011
THE OLD RUGGED CROSS
About an hour away from where I used to live in Coventry (England), there is a little village called Bredwardine. It is in the county of Herefordshire. A lady who attended the Anglican Church in that village died, and in her will she left some money for the Church. As well as
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Contributed by Gordon Curley on Nov 19, 2011
SILVER LINING
We have in the English language a proverb, "Every cloud has a silver lining," It comes from John Milton's masque (dramatic entertainment) 'Comus' (1634). 'Was I deceiv'd, or did a sable cloud/ Turn forth her silver lining on the night?'
The proverb means that out of a negative
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Contributed by Gordon Curley on Nov 9, 2011
THE WATER PUMP
Many years ago A.J. Gordon went to the World’s Fair. From a distance he saw a man pumping water with one of those old hand pumps. The water was pouring out and he said as he looked, "That man is really working hard at pumping water."
But when he got closer, he discovered that it
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Contributed by Gordon Curley on Nov 3, 2011
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LOOKING FORWARD TO IT
A Peanuts cartoon:
Lucy and Linus were sitting in front of the television set when Lucy said to Linus, "Go get me a glass of water."
Linus looked surprised. "Why should I do anything for you? You never do anything for me."
Lucy promised, "On your 75th birthday, I’ll
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Contributed by Gordon Curley on Oct 28, 2011
PRISON VS. FULL-TIME WORK
In prison you spend the majority of your time in an 8' X 10' cell.
At work you spend most of your time in a 6' X 8' cubicle.
In prison you get three meals a day.
At work you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for that one.
In prison you get time off for
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Contributed by Gordon Curley on Oct 21, 2011
THE SERMON ON FAMILY
A young minister, with very small children, preached to his congregation on the theme, "10 ways to raise good and godly children."
Some years later, with his children entering their teens, he returned to his theme, but the same sermon was entitled:
"10 suggestions for
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Contributed by Gordon Curley on Oct 17, 2011
ASKING GOOD QUESTIONS
A friend once asked Isidor I. Rabi, a Nobel prize winner in science how he became a scientist. Rabi replied that every day after school his mother would talk to him about his school day. She wasn’t so much interested in what he had learned that day, but she always inquired,
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Contributed by Gordon Curley on Sep 27, 2011
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WHAT IS FAITH?
Three schoolboys were asked to write their definition of faith. One wrote: "Faith is TAKING hold of God." The second wrote: "Faith is HOLDING onto God." The third
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Contributed by Gordon Curley on Sep 16, 2011
YOU NEED SOMEONE, SOMEONE NEEDS YOU
A rooster minus a hen equals no baby chicks.
Kellogg’s minus a farmer equals no corn flakes.
If the nail factory closes what good is the hammer factory?
Beethoven’s genius wouldn't have amounted to much if the piano tuner hadn't showed up.
A cracker maker will
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Contributed by Gordon Curley on Sep 4, 2011
DIOCLETIAN
In its first 300 hundred years the Christian church endured repeated waves of persecution. But perhaps the worst came while Diocletian was emperor of Rome (A.D.284-305).
Convinced that the Christians were conspiring against him, Diocletian sought to annihilate them throughout his
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Contributed by Gordon Curley on Sep 4, 2011
THE HERE...AFTER
A vicar was talking to one of his parishioners. He said, "When you get to my age you spend a lot more time thinking about the hereafter."
"Why do you say that?" enquires the parishioner.
The vicar replies, "Well, I
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Contributed by Douglas Stull on Aug 31, 2011
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PROMISCUITY STATISTICS
Statistics show astronomical growth in sexual permissiveness and its attendant social problems in America since the sexual revolution of the 1960’s.
Couples Living Together:
YEAR TOTAL
2000 5,500,000
1997 4,000,000
1995 3,700,000
1990
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Contributed by Gordon Curley on Aug 13, 2011
OOPS...
A secretary was leaving the office one Friday evening when she encountered one of the bosses, Mr. Jones. He was standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.
"Listen," said Mr. Jones, "This is important, and my secretary has already left. Can you make this thing
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Contributed by Gordon Curley on Jul 18, 2011
WORLD RECORDS
Sleeping Beauty, Tom Thumb, and Quasimodo were all talking one day. Sleeping Beauty said, "I believe myself to be the most beautiful girl in the world."
Tom Thumb said, "I must be the smallest person in the world."
Quasimodo said, "I absolutely have to be the ugliest person in the
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Contributed by Gordon Curley on Jul 2, 2011
ARE YOU GOING DEAF?
Fed up with people telling him he was going deaf, a man went to get his hearing tested. After examining the man, the audiologist place a clock on a desk and asked the man if he could hear it ticking. The man replied; "Yes I can."
The audiologist then placed the clock at the
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