Contributed by Gordon Curley on Nov 29, 2010
REJECTED ON EARTH, ACCEPTED IN HEAVEN
In 1888 Campbell Morgan was one of 150 young men who sought entrance to the Wesleyan ministry. He passed the doctrinal examinations but then faced the trial sermon. In a cavernous auditorium that could seat more than 1,000 people sat three ministers and 75
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Contributed by Gordon Curley on Nov 29, 2010
GEN. MACARTHUR: UNDERSTANDING EINSTEIN
When General Douglas MacArthur was at Army training college, he tells this story:
"The first section was studying the time-space relationship later formulated by Einstein as his Theory of Relativity. The text was complex and, being unable to comprehend it, I
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Contributed by Gordon Curley on Nov 29, 2010
THROUGH HIS BLOOD
In 1927, in West Africa, a blood specimen was taken from a native man named Asibi, who was sick with yellow fever. A vaccine was made from the original strain of virus obtained from this man. In fact, all the vaccine manufactured since 1927 by the Rockefeller Foundation and
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Contributed by Gordon Curley on Nov 29, 2010
A FATHER'S WISDOM
A father and his small son were out walking one day when the lad asked him a question. "Dad, how does electricity could go through the wires stretched between the telephone poles?
"I don't know," said his father. "I never knew much about electricity."
A few roads farther on,
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Contributed by Gordon Curley on Nov 29, 2010
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SOMEONE UNDER MY BED
A man went to a psychiatrist with a worry problem. "Every time I get into bed," he said, "I’m convinced there is somebody under it."
"I can help," said the psychiatrist, "But it will mean a session a week for a year, costing £30 per visit."
The man never returned, so when
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Contributed by Gordon Curley on Nov 29, 2010
BONFIRE NIGHT
On this day in 1605, thirteen young men planned to blow up the Houses of Parliament. Among them was Britain's most notorious traitor, a man called Guy Fawkes. They rented a house next to Parliament, dug a tunnel, and into the tunnel they placed 36 barrels (1.5 tonnes) of
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Contributed by Gordon Curley on Nov 29, 2010
A HOLY MINISTER IN THE HANDS OF GOD
We must heed the memorable words written by Robert Murray McCheyne to the Rev. Dan Edwards on 2 October 1840 after his ordination as a missionary to the Jews: "I trust you will have a pleasant and profitable time in Germany. I know you will apply hard to German;
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Contributed by Gordon Curley on Nov 29, 2010
Quote: D.L. Moody:
"I believe firmly that the moment our hearts are emptied of pride and selfishness and ambition and everything that is contrary to God’s law, the Holy Spirit will fill every corner of our hearts. But if we are full of pride and conceit and ambition and the
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Contributed by Gordon Curley on Nov 29, 2010
THE CURE
Mrs Smith was so happy: "I’ve cured my husband of biting his nails."
I replied, "How did you manage to do that?"
"Simple,"
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Contributed by Gordon Curley on Nov 29, 2010
THE WORLD'S EASIEST TEST
1. How long did the hundred year war last?
2. Which country makes Panama hats?
3. What is Camel's hair brush made from?
4. In what month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
5. What was King George VI's first name?
6. What colour is a Purple Finch?
7. Where are
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Contributed by Gordon Curley on Nov 27, 2010
SHOOTING AT THE SAINTS
It is said that when the British and French were fighting in Canada in the 1750s, Admiral Phipps was the commander of the British fleet. He was given orders to anchor outside Quebec. His orders were to wait for the British land forces to arrive, then support them when they
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Contributed by Gordon Curley on Nov 27, 2010
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NO RECORD ANYWHERE
My friend Dr. Roy Gustafson has the finest illustration of justification I have ever heard. It seems that there was a man in England who put his Rolls-Royce on a boat and went across to the continent to go on a holiday. While he was driving around Europe, something happened to
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Contributed by Gordon Curley on Nov 27, 2010
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RAVI ZACHARIAS: A LECHEROUS HEART
One of the most powerful stories I have ever heard on the nature of the human heart is told by Malcolm Muggeridge. Working as a journalist in India, he left his residence one evening to go to a nearby river for a swim. As he entered the water, across the river he
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Contributed by Gordon Curley on Nov 27, 2010
DOCTORS: What They Say and What They Actually Mean
What they say: "It could be one of several things."
What they mean: "I haven't the foggiest idea what's wrong with you."
What they say: "Are you sure you haven't had this before?"
What they mean: "Because you've got it again."
What they say:
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Contributed by Gordon Curley on Nov 27, 2010
There was a minister out taking a walk on a beautiful street. He noticed a small boy attempting to ring the doorbell on the porch of a house. The boy was short and the doorbell was higher than usual. The boy could not quite reach it.
The minister stepped up to the porch beside the boy and reached
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Contributed by Gordon Curley on Nov 27, 2010
NEWSPAPER MISPRINTS
It does not take a lot to cause misunderstandings. Just listen to these misprints from local newspapers.
From the Chichester Evening News: "Miss Hampshire ... is friendly, likeable, and easy to talk to. She has a fine, fair skin, which she admits ruefully comes out in freckles
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Contributed by Gordon Curley on Nov 27, 2010
Quote: Peter Marshall:
• "You are leaving port under sealed orders and in a troubled period.
• You cannot know whither you are going or what you are to do.
• You cannot know whither you are going or what you are to do.
• But why not take the Pilot on boar;
• Who knows the nature of your sealed
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Contributed by Gordon Curley on Nov 27, 2010
WHY YOU'RE TIRED
In a 24-hour period, if you’re an adult of average weight, here is what you accomplish:
• Your heart beats 103,689 times
• Your blood travels 168,000,000 miles
• You breathe 23,040 times
• You inhale 438 cubic feet of air.
• You eat 3.25 pounds of food
• You drink 2.9 quarts
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Contributed by Gordon Curley on Nov 27, 2010
INTELLIGENCE: DO YOU STILL HAVE YOURS?
A little boy asked his mum a question: "Mum, where did I get my intelligence from?"
She replied, "I guess you
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