based on 124 ratings
| 3,676 views
Praying for the sick – well, we’ve got that one down. I recently saw a cartoon where an elderly woman is standing at the church door talking to the pastor. Her remark, as she hands a thick manila folder to him, “My doctor copied my chart,
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United Methodist
based on 133 ratings
| 3,147 views
Bedouin camel drivers in the mid-East understand how relationships can get out-of-balance this way. Camels are notoriously moody. Their selfish ways are legendary.
From time to time a camel-driver senses his camel is fed-up with the owner. Wanting to head-off an explosion, the owner will hand
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United Methodist
based on 208 ratings
| 3,742 views
Did you hear about the two guys who were marooned on a desert island? After a year they couldn’t stand each other. One day Rufus found an old green bottle washed up on the shore. He rubbed it, and, voila! – a genie appeared. George saw what was happening, and grabbed the bottle – Gimmie a wish,
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United Methodist
based on 235 ratings
| 3,900 views
Selfishness is a personal thing. This is the self-contained life lived without Christ. That’s the attitude that hears a sermon and thinks, Wow, the preacher really told ‘em that time!
A preacher once had a member who was like that. He always had the same comment after the sermon, You sure
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United Methodist
based on 82 ratings
| 2,339 views
Mrs. Thomas works for an "ear doctor". She told us about one man who she had called to advise that his hearing aid had come in. The man was so happy, he jubilantly thanked Mrs. Thomas, saying, Oh thank you, I appreciate that...I love you, bye.
Later that day the man’s wife called Mrs. Thomas to
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Denomination:
United Methodist
based on 118 ratings
| 1,799 views
To you who become the in-laws: Gaining a son or daughter-in-law means only two words: BUTT-OUT!!
Young people have a hard enough time adjusting to the difficulties and challenges that marriage present. They don¡¦t need you to complicate the matter.
The first six months Elizabeth and I
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United Methodist
based on 85 ratings
| 1,873 views
That which Ad¡¦am needed most, was that which God was happy to supply. The rib has always caused a lot of speculation. One wag offered this conversation between God and Ad¡¦am,
Lord, I¡¦m lonely. I need to have some company here.
OK, Ad¡¦am. I¡¦m going to give you the perfect woman.
„« She
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United Methodist
based on 90 ratings
| 3,596 views
There¡¦s fear, and then there is fear. The 82nd Airborne Rangers train at Fort Bragg, NC. The division commanding general was inspecting, and as he reviewed the ranks of paratroop trainees, he carefully scrutinized one West Virginia recruit standing proudly at attention, jump wings and boots
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Denomination:
United Methodist
based on 91 ratings
| 2,975 views
A man once wrote, I overheard my mother passing along to my father a newsy tidbit, concerning a neighbor. "You know you shouldn¡¦t repeat stories about others," I said with mock seriousness. "That makes you a gossip." "I¡¦m not a gossip!"
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United Methodist
based on 90 ratings
| 2,164 views
Hettie Green was a famous millionaire. She lived in seclusion and became a virtual recluse. She had only a few friends and an ugly mongrel dog that kept biting the few friends she did have.
One of them said, "You’ve got to get rid of that dog." Hettie refused. She said, "That dog loves me and
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United Methodist
based on 141 ratings
| 3,306 views
The dear lady was visiting the church for the first time. The Pastor’s family was greeting the worshipers at the front door after the service. They happened to be having a dinner on the grounds, and the Pastor invited the rather stout visitor to stay.
Said the dear lady to the Parson, "Your
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Denomination:
United Methodist
based on 138 ratings
| 6,509 views
In a Scottish cemetery the following epitaph appears on a new tombstone:
Here lies Hamish McTavish,
Whose deeply sorrowing widow continues
To carry on his flourishing
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United Methodist
based on 96 ratings
| 6,914 views
A New York family decided to leave the crowded city and head for the wide-open spaces. They bought a ranch out West, where they intended to raise cattle. A month later some friends visited the ranch and asked if they had picked out a name for the place. Well, said the man, I wanted to name it
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Denomination:
United Methodist
based on 214 ratings
| 3,776 views
A lady joined her Navy husband on his tour of duty in Japan. To supplement their income, she got a job as a secretary for the Commanding Officer at the base. She was certain her office skills had gotten her the position. A few weeks later, her boss called her into his office and told her she was
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Denomination:
United Methodist
based on 78 ratings
| 1,514 views
You can go from hero to zero in a relatively short time; just ask Wrong Way Riegels. On New Year’s Day, 1929, Georgia Tech played UCLA in the Rose Bowl. In that game a young man named Roy Riegels recovered a fumble for UCLA. Picking up the loose ball, he lost his direction and ran sixty-five yards
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United Methodist
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