In Sermon Illustrations:

Unintentionally Humorous Texts: What Are They Doing Here?

Contributed by Jonathan Spurlock on Apr 3, 2024

Introduction: David had fled to Achish, king of Gath, in the land of the Philistines once before to escape Saul, the king of Israel and his own father-in-law (1 Samuel 21)! Now it’s a few years later and, once again, Saul is chasing David and, again, David fled to Gath. This time, David and his ...read more

Scripture: 1 Samuel 29:1-5

Tags: David, Philistines, Achish

Denomination: Baptist

Unintentionally Humorous Texts: The "Cow”-Vangelists?

Contributed by Jonathan Spurlock on Mar 29, 2024

Introduction: Who would have thought that the lowing of two cows would mean something wonderful for Israel? Something wonderful did happen! Text: 1 Samuel 6:7-12, KJV: 7 Now therefore make a new cart, and take two milch kine, on which there hath come no yoke, and tie the kine to the cart, and ...read more

Scripture: 1 Samuel 6:7-12

Tags: Philistines, Ark Of The Covenant, Coffers

Denomination: Baptist

Unintentionally Humorous Texts: Look What I Just Made!

Contributed by Jonathan Spurlock on Mar 27, 2024

Introduction: Idols, man-made objects of worship, have been around and have been used for thousands of years. These items were made out of stone, clay, various metals, as well as wood. Now imagine the carpenters or other craftsmen who made these objects, knowing what they had made, and what they ...read more

Scripture: Isaiah 44:12-17

Tags: Isaiah, Idols, Types Of Trees

Denomination: Baptist

Unintentionally Humorous Texts: When David Played The Fool!

Contributed by Jonathan Spurlock on Mar 19, 2024

Introduction: David was known for many things: Saul’s minstrel, the champion against Goliath, and a man after God’s own Heart, among others. But there was an unintentionally humorous incident that didn’t put David in a very good light! Text: 1 Samuel 21:10-15, KJV: 10 And David arose, and fled ...read more

Scripture: 1 Samuel 21:10-15

Tags: David, Gath, Achish

Denomination: Baptist

Unintentionally Humorous Texts: Micah’s Misfortunes: "What Aileth Thee?”

Contributed by Jonathan Spurlock on Mar 15, 2024

Introduction: Micah of Ephraim is one of the more unusual characters in Scripture. We’ve seen a couple of his misfortunes, but now, in another unintentionally humorous text, we’ll see he faced a problem he couldn’t possibly solve. Text: Judges 18:18-26, KJV: 18 And these went into Micah's ...read more

Scripture: Judges 18:18-26

Tags: Danites, Micah Of Ephraim, Idols

Denomination: Baptist

Unintentionally Humorous Texts: Micah’s Misfortunes, Part 2

Contributed by Jonathan Spurlock on Mar 11, 2024

Introduction: The first verses of Judges 17 tell the story of Micah. In a word, he stole a lot of money from his mother, but returned it to her after she pronounced a curse on the stuff—and, probably, the thief whoever it may have been. The section concludes with Micah establishing his own ...read more

Scripture: Judges 17:7-13

Tags: Micah, Idolatry, Levites, Mount Ephraim

Denomination: Baptist

Unintentionally Humorous Texts: Micah’s Misfortunes, Part 1

Contributed by Jonathan Spurlock on Mar 7, 2024

Introduction: The days of Israel’s judges, before Samuel and the kingdom, were known as ‘seesaw days”: Israel alternated between being true to the God of Israel, then abandoning Him to worship the idols of other nations. Israel would be oppressed, and then cry out to their God for help, but then ...read more

Scripture: Judges 17:1-6

Tags: Micah, Ephraim, Idols, Teraphim

Denomination: Baptist

Unintentionally Humorous Texts: "Don’t Ask Me, It Just Happened!”

Contributed by Jonathan Spurlock on Mar 2, 2024

Introduction: Chances are either you, me, or someone we know has tried to excuse something that whoever it was, did. Excuses vary, but more often than not, the reply is something along the lines of “I don’t know how this happened!” One of the clearest cases of “I-don’t-know-itis” took place at the ...read more

Scripture: Exodus 32:21-24

Tags: Moses, Aaron, Golden Calf

Denomination: Baptist

Unintentionally Humorous Texts: Laban, "Why Did You Steal My Gods?”

Contributed by Jonathan Spurlock on Feb 23, 2024

Introduction: Let me say first of all that the Bible is a very sacred Book, not to be trifled with. It’s precious and untold numbers of believers have given their lives to simply have and read it, let alone defend it against any number of attacks. Having said that, there are a number of places ...read more

Scripture: Genesis 31:26-30

Tags: Laban, Idols, Teraphim, Jacob, Rachel  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Baptist

An Observation About Eternity

Contributed by Jonathan Spurlock on Feb 5, 2024

Text, Ecclesiastes 3:11, American Standard Version: He hath made everything beautiful in its time: also he hath set eternity in their heart, yet so that man cannot find out the work that God hath done from the beginning even to the end. Every day we live takes us one day closer to the end of our ...read more

Scripture: Ecclesiastes 3:11

Tags: Hell, Eternity, Salvation

Denomination: Baptist

For A Mother, A Child Is Never A Burden

Contributed by Jonathan Spurlock on Jan 27, 2024

Text, Exodus 19:4, KJV: Ye have seen what I did unto the Egyptians, and how I bare you on eagles' wings, and brought you unto myself. When was the last time you found anything inspiring, let alone inspirational, when you renew your car's license plate/s? A few days before I wrote this, ...read more

Scripture: Exodus 19:4

Tags: Eagle Wings, Children, Mothers

Denomination: Baptist

A Look At Outer Darkness

Contributed by Jonathan Spurlock on Dec 29, 2023

Introduction: Jesus spoke of “outer darkness” at least three times. There were a couple of times when I experienced something like this, and it wasn’t pleasant! No one needs to face outer darkness, so don’t let it happen to you. Text: Matthew 8:10-12, KJV: 10 When Jesus heard it, he marvelled, and ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 8:10-12

Tags: Light, Outer Darkness, Fear

Denomination: Baptist

P-U-L-L Or Pray Until Lesson’s Learned!

Contributed by Jonathan Spurlock on Nov 30, 2023

Introduction: A lot of us might remember the acronym P-U-S-H, standing for Pray Until Something Happens! The other day, something happened to me to give a bit of a humorous slant or angle on that idea. Text: Proverbs 3:13-14, KJV: 13 Happy is the man that findeth wisdom, and the man that getteth ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 3:13-14

Tags: Wisdom, Learning

Denomination: Baptist

Misapplied Scriptures: "God Is No Respecter Of Persons”, Acts 10:34

Contributed by Jonathan Spurlock on Nov 25, 2023

Introduction: “God is no respecter of persons!” How many times have we heard that during an invitation? It’s sad, but this is another verse that’s been misapplied over the years. Text: Acts 10:34, KJV: 34 Then Peter opened his mouth, and said, Of a truth I perceive that God is no respecter of ...read more

Scripture: Acts 10:34

Tags: Salvation, Peter, Cornelius

Denomination: Baptist

Misapplied Scriptures, John 9:31: Does God Hear Sinners, Or Not?

Contributed by Jonathan Spurlock on Oct 13, 2023

Introduction: This is another verse of Scripture which has been used and misused by many people for a long time. Some folks teach that it’s basically useless for any sinner to pray because “well, right there, it says, ‘God heareth not sinners!’” But is that what the verse really teaches? Here’s ...read more

Scripture: John 9:31, Psalm 66:18

Tags: Blind Men, Misapplied Scripture, Unusual Healings, Jesus

Denomination: Baptist

Misapplied Scriptures, Psalm 137:9

Contributed by Jonathan Spurlock on Oct 3, 2023

Introduction: Yahoo! ™ used to have a section or forum where people could ask and answer questions about any of many topics. One of my favorites was the “religion and spirituality” section. Some people were genuinely interested in spiritual matters. It goes without saying there were a number of ...read more

Tags: Punishment, Babylonian Captivity, Misapplied Scriptures

Denomination: Baptist

Misapplied Scriptures: Amos 3:7

Contributed by Jonathan Spurlock on Oct 2, 2023

Introduction: Like many believers, I didn’t spend too much time reading the Bible, let alone doing serious study, for many of my years as a believer. It seems some religious leaders or devout followers know this and use verses such as this one to prove a point. If true believers don’t have a ...read more

Scripture: Amos 3:7

Tags: False Prophets, Prophets, Misapplied Scriptures

Denomination: Baptist

Misapplied Scriptures, Numbers 5:11ff: Abortion?

Contributed by Jonathan Spurlock on Sep 27, 2023

Introduction: By now we’ve seen a few examples where selected (!) Scriptures are taken out of context and used in ways the writers never intended. There are some people who flat-out either twist or attempt to misapply the Scriptures in a much more devious way. They’ll take or quote a passage that, ...read more

Scripture: Numbers 5:11-31

Tags: Spirit Of Jealousy, Abortion, Adultery, Misapplied Scriptures

Denomination: Baptist

Misapplied Scriptures: Ezekiel 16:6

Contributed by Jonathan Spurlock on Sep 26, 2023

Introduction: Some folks, perhaps well-meaning, will take a verse completely out of its context in order to use the words for something much different than what was intended. This verse is one that to my knowledge has never been used as the person (L, to protect the identity) said to me many years ...read more

Scripture: Ezekiel 16:6

Tags: Misapplied Scriptures, Blood, Israel

Denomination: Baptist

Misapplied Scriptures: "There Is But A Step Between Me And Death”

Contributed by Jonathan Spurlock on Sep 24, 2023

Introduction: This verse, on the surface, seems pretty straightforward. The problem is that some well-meaning folks have used it in a different sense. Let’s take a deeper look: Text: 1 Samuel 20:3, KJV: 3 And David sware moreover, and said, Thy father certainly knoweth that I have found grace in ...read more

Scripture: 1 Samuel 20:3

Tags: David, Death, Jonathan, Misapplied Scriptures

Denomination: Baptist