Sermon Illustrations

A HEARING TEST

Here’s a test to see if you listen well…

1. A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two-tired.

2. What’s the definition of a will? (It’s a dead giveaway).

3. In democracy it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism it’s your count that votes.

4. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

5. A lot of money is tainted. It taint yours and it taint mine.

6. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

7. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

8. Once you’ve seen one shopping centre you’ve seen a mall.

9. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she’d dye.

10. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

11. Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeet....

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