Sermon Central
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Getting Caught Asleep
Contributed by Sermon Central on Apr 8, 2009 (message contributor)
GETTING CAUGHT ASLEEP
Just in case your boss catches you asleep at your desk, be ready to blurt out one of these excuses:
"They told me at the blood bank that this might happen."
"This is just a 15-minute power nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to."
"I was working smarter - not harder."
"Whew! I must have left the top off the whiteout."
"I wasn’t sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!"
"This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!"
"I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance."
"I’m in the management training program."
"I’m actually doing a Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan (SLEEP). I learned at the last mandatory seminar you made me attend."
"This is in exchange for the six hours last night when I dreamed about work!"
"Darn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem."
"The coffee machine is broken..."
"Someone must have put decaf in the wrong pot."
"Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won’t wear off."
"Ah, the unique and unpredictable circadian rhythms of the workaholic!"
"I wasn’t sleeping. I was trying to pick up my contact lens without my hands."
"The mail courier flipped out and pulled a gun, so I was playing dead to avoid getting shot."
"Gosh, I thought you (the boss) were gone for the day."
"...Amen!"
(From a sermon by Jason Jones, "Why Not to Sleep in Church" 1/29/2009)
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