The Journey Of 1,000 Miles Begins With An Apple Fritter

Life has many paths, and I have discovered that traveling any of them takes a lot of energy.

Unlike The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage, my energy comes from those wonderful Apple Fritters. I can't remember the first time I had one, but I vividly remember the last time.

Trying to get through life successfully is quite an energetic activity; everybody needs that energy. Finding that energy is the great secret of life.

For years, I have tried convincing The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage of the value of an Apple Fritter, at least for me. We've had this argument or rather discussion, and I have tried to prove that an Apple Fritter is a fruit. After all, isn't an apple fruit? And shouldn't we be eating fruit?

On the other side of the dining room table, The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage gets her energy from eating broccoli. I don't even like pronouncing the name, let alone seeing it on the dining room table. But for her, broccoli is the Queen of all vegetables. (Yuck)

I argue that I'm a fruit guy, but she misuses that phrase and calls me a fruity guy.

I can remember one time in my life when I ate broccoli. It was so disgusting that I have never eaten it again. I can't even stand the smell of broccoli in our house.

Every once in a while, I smell broccoli from the kitchen and know it's on the dinner menu tonight. I don't mind having broccoli on the table, but I certainly do not accept having it on my plate.

Through the years, I have tried to negotiate with her and tell her I will eat Apple fritters when she eats broccoli. After all, it's what we like.

Once I was a good negotiator. My mother was trying to get me to eat spinach, which I really hated. One Saturday, I was watching Popeye the Sailor on TV. When my mother saw me watching it, she said, "See, Popeye loves spinach. I think you should be eating spinach too."

Without even looking at her, I said, "Popeye also smokes a pipe. Does that mean I can smoke a pipe?" That discussion never came up again.

That's the only negotiating on food I've ever won.

For some reason, The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage hates Apple fritters. I think she hates them more than I hate broccoli.

For me, Apple fritters provide the energy I need to build up my attitude of excitement in life. Nothing does that better than Apple fritters.

She argues that because of my health condition, my food has to be sugar-free. I don't know who came up with that idea, but a sugar-free menu certainly is not appealing.

"Don't you know," she will explain, "that there is sugar in those Apple fritters? And you need to be on a sugar-free diet."

After years of debate, I finally thought of a solution. I talked to the baker where I get most of my Apple fritters and we both came to an amicable agreement. I asked him how much sugar was in an Apple Fritter, and he told me. I asked if he could make the sugar free instead of paying for it. After all, if all the sugar is free, then according to The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage, it is okay for me to eat.

I tried explaining to her that sugar is always free whenever I buy an Apple Fritter, so technically speaking, the Apple fritters I purchase at my bakery are sugar-free.

How to be simpler than that is beyond my resources. She didn't accept that argument and seriously said, "That is not what I'm talking about. The sugar in that Apple Fritter is dangerous to your health."

Apart from The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage, nothing is sweeter than an Apple Fritter. Whether I pay for the sugar or it comes free doesn't really matter to me. Honestly, I don't eat Apple fritters every day. I am very disciplined when it comes to my diet. I can't explain my frequency for obvious reasons.

Once in a while, I have this inward yearning for an Apple Fritter. If I haven't had one in some time, I begin thinking about it and am famished for one.

Controlling my diet at my age is very important. I'm not as young or skinny as I once was. I understand that and realize I cannot eat like I am 18. But sometimes, I need to enjoy something that will nourish my current enthusiasm. Several things come to my mind, but the first thing is an Apple Fritter.

I'm not sure who invented the Apple Fritter, but I'd like to meet them someday, shake their hand, and thank them.

The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and I will celebrate our 54th wedding anniversary this August. Amazingly, we've been together this long, and our only disagreement during that time has been the Apple Fritters/broccoli controversy. That's a remarkable accomplishment, especially in the day we live.

So, if I gave up Apple Fritters, we would have no disagreements. What kind of life would that be?

While thinking about this a favorite verse of Scripture came to mind. “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” (Amos 3:3)

It’s not so much what you don’t agree on but rather on what you do agree on. That’s what brings two people together.