Sermon Central
-
Help Daisy! It's Gotta Hold On Me
Contributed by Steve Kinnard on Mar 4, 2019 (message contributor)
INTRO: Let me tell you about my friend Billy Bob.
Ole Billy Bob came in to work one day looking like he had been run over by a buzz saw. He had scratches all over and big pop-knots on each side of his head.
With a look of despair, Billy Bob said,” Well son it happened like this; after work Saturday, I stopped at the beer store on the way home and picked up a case of Budweiser”.
I finished 6 of them bad boys of before I got home. As soon as I reached the door My wife Daisy met me with a gallon of paint and a paint brush and said “Billy Bob Johnson were gonna paint this house today”. I told her “Daisy shut up you know that the Tennessee Vols are playing Bama on TV today. I flipped that TV on and proceeded to pop two more tops on them Buds .
When half-time arrived I was in deep misery and needed to relieve myself, so I staggered to the bathroom ,only to find that Daisy already occupied the throne. Since she was still mad and pouting, She wouldn’t let me in. Well you know how it is; when you gotta go, you gotta go.
I made my way to the front porch and proceeded to empty my bladder in front of God, the neighbors and anyone else driving down the road.
Well I was a little bit woozy and fell of the porch, that’s when it grabbed me. That thing was the worst monster I’d ever seen, It got a hold of me and wouldn’t let go. No matter how hard I tried, it just sunk its claws into me harder; I mean that thing was ripping the flesh right off of me. I tell you what old buddy, your pal Billy Bob looked like a 197 pounds of freshly ground hamburger.
In my desperation, I hollered at Daisy, boy I forgot that she was still mad at me over the painting deal. So I began to yell at the top of my lungs, “Daisy. HELP ME DAISY, It’s got a hold on me and won’t let go. She was still pouting so I screamed louder, attracting everybody in the neighborhood, “help me Daisy it’s got a hold on me and won’t let go. When Daisy came to the door and saw me tangled up in her PRIZE ROSE BUSH, she lost control and hit me on the left side of my head with her cast iron cornbread skillet. She muttered something about me being a disgrace as she turned around and went back in the house, leaving me still caught in the grip of that flesh eating rose bush. If the Greene County Deputy Sheriff hadn’t showed up I’d still be hung up in that thing,
Well I don’t know which hurt me the most, Daisy’s prize rose bush, that cornbread skillet or when that Greene County Deputy hit me on the right side of my head with that billet stick
Ole Billy Bob was caught by something, something had a hold of him, it wasn’t Daisy’s rose bush but it was thing called SIN. Jesus Christ came to Set you free. Whatever has a hold of you, whatever won’t let go, Jesus can, wants to and will set you free.
Related Sermon Illustrations
-
It Is In The Hours Of Loneliness That God Does ...
Contributed by Philip Harrelson on Feb 8, 2007
It is in the hours of loneliness that God does some of His greatest works. It was in the lonely dejection of Elijah that he heard God’s voice. It was in the wearying lonely path of faith that God came again to Abraham. It was in the lonely hours following failure that Peter found God. It ...read more
-
Child-Training PRO
Contributed by Herman Abrahams on Oct 2, 2004
PROVERBS 22:6 “The Hebrew word for train (h\aµnak_) means to dedicate…. H\aµnak_ seems to include the idea of setting aside, narrowing, or hedging in. The word is sometimes used in the sense of “start.” Child-training involves “narrowing” a child’s conduct away from evil and toward godliness and ...read more
-
Hans Christian Andersen's Tale Of "The Ugly ... PRO
Contributed by Bruce Willis on Dec 29, 2006
Hans Christian Andersen’s tale of “The Ugly Duckling” illustrates the truth that what you know and believe to be truth determines your behavior. Although hatched in the same nest as the other eggs, this “duckling” looked different. He was big and ugly, not soft and yellow like the other ...read more
-
A Roman Catholic Priest […] Was Making His Way ... PRO
Contributed by John Shearhart on Feb 8, 2007
“A Roman Catholic priest […] was making his way down [an] alley to his parked car, [when] a man suddenly emerged from the shadows, thrusting the muzzle of a revolver into his ribs demanding, ‘Hand me your wallet!’ Offering no word of protest, the priest immediately began to comply. As he reached ...read more
-
1997------- From Time To Time We Hear Statistics ... PRO
Contributed by Richard Mcnair on Nov 4, 2004
1997------- From time to time we hear statistics about how people first came into church membership. These figures trace back to the Institute for American Church Growth, which asked 10,000 people about their pilgrimage. What led them in? Answers were: Special need, 2 percent; Walk-in, 3 percent; ...read more
Related Sermons
-
Power Of Obedience
Contributed by Richard Tow on Jul 25, 2017
Obedience is inherit in the relationship of man (as a created being) with God, the Creator. The New Covenant does not do away with the need for obedience to God. In fact, it supply the strength to live that way. Heaven will be a place of obedience to God.
-
Identity Series
Contributed by Matt Smith on Jan 3, 2013
From what do you get your identity? Is it in your career? Your Spouse? Your Looks? Maybe it is even something such as Your Ministry or how much you Read The Bible. In this message Pastor Matt Smith shows us through scripture that our primary identity
-
CÓmo Romper Las Maldiciones Generacionales
Contributed by James Dina on Jan 25, 2021
Una maldición generacional viene a través de la línea de sangre, y sólo puede ser cancelada por la sangre la sangre de Jesús.
-
Come See A Man
Contributed by Vernon Price on Apr 12, 2012
. WHEN WE DRINK FROM THE WORLD, WE ALWAYS THIRST AGAIN A. Temporary satisfaction is the norm - We live in a world full of temporary things! (groceries) - Temporary doesn't mean "bad" (Jesus gets tired, thirsty, hungry; vv.6-8) - The world offer
-
You Are Holy - Set Apart For A Purpose
Contributed by J Jeffrey Smead on Nov 10, 2015
How do we become Holy? The Hebrew word translated Holy is Qodesh it means a sacred place or object set apart consecrated and dedicated to God. Beloved there is a vast difference between Holy and Purity.
