Contributed by Gordon Curley on Nov 21, 2010
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A young lady was sunbathing on the beach when a little boy in his swimming trunks, carrying a towel, came up to her and asked her, "Do you believe in God?"
She was surprised by the question but she replied, "Why, yes, I do."
Then he asked her: "Do you go to church every Sunday?"
Again, her
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Contributed by Rodelio Mallari on Nov 20, 2010
IT MOVES, FOR ALL THAT!
Galileo, in 1609, began experiments which led to the invention of the telescope. His first instrument had for its tube, a piece of leaden organ pipe, and a magnifying power of three diameters.
In 1611 he visited Rome, and showed the clergy and others the wonders of the
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Contributed by Rodelio Mallari on Nov 20, 2010
HIS DANGEROUS CONDITION
A drunkard husband, spending the evening with his jovial companions at a tavern, boasted that if he should take a group of his friends home with him at midnight and ask his Christian wife to get up and cook supper for them, she would do it without complaint.
The crowd
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Contributed by Rodelio Mallari on Nov 20, 2010
10 MOST USED EXCUSES
1. I forgot.
2. No one told me to go ahead.
3. I didn't think it was that important.
4. Wait until the boss comes back and ask him.
5. I didn't know you were in a hurry for it.
6. That's the way we've always done it.
7. That's not in my department.
8. How was I to know
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Contributed by Rodelio Mallari on Nov 20, 2010
HOME IS JUST BEYOND
The story is told of a little girl who lived near a cemetery. Even though she had to pass through it after the sun was set she never seemed to be apprehensive. Someone finally said to her: "Aren't you afraid to go through the cemetery?"
"Ah, no," she replied, "I am not afraid,
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Contributed by Rodelio Mallari on Nov 20, 2010
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THE STAGES OF LOSS
Several years ago a profound and dramatic research project began in Chicago's Billings Hospital. It was a seminar on death, in which psychiatists, chaplains, nurses, and medical doctors studied the ultimate human crisis of facing death.
Basic findings is that the very ill
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Contributed by Rodelio Mallari on Nov 20, 2010
Little Girl: "Mother, we learned in Sunday school today that we came from dust and that we are going back to dust. Is that true?"
Mother: "Yes, darling, that's true."
Little Girl: "Well, I just looked under the bed and someone is either coming or going."
— Encyclopedia of 15,000
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Contributed by Rodelio Mallari on Nov 20, 2010
HOW MUCH IS A BODY WORTH?
When biochemist Harold J. Morowitz of Yale University received a humorous birthday card from his daughter that read: "According to biochemists, the materials that make up the human body are worth only ninety-eight cents," he reached for a catalog of a supply company
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WHAT ARE YOUR GOALS?
Not long after I got out of seminary, I decided I needed more training. So, I applied for a pastoral residency position at one of the largest churches in our denomination. It was a church in Prairie Village, Kansas, just outside of Kansas City, Missouri. As it turns out, the
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Presbyterian/Reformed
THE IN-LAWS: "ARE YOU A PRAYING MAN?"
Sheldon Kornpett was a quiet, reserved man with a successful dental practice in Manhattan, that is, until he met his future in-laws, Mr. and Mrs. Vince Ricardo. Sheldon’s daughter was soon to be married to their son, so Sheldon’s wife hosted a dinner party at
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Presbyterian/Reformed
Contributed by Gordon Curley on Nov 18, 2010
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STATS ON FORGETFULNESS
I was relieved recently to find out that I’m not the only one who forgets things. According to researcher Karen Bolla, everyone does at one time or another.
These are the six things people most often forget:
• (6). faces 42%
• (5). what was said 49%
• (4). words 53%
• (3).
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Contributed by Gordon Curley on Nov 18, 2010
SHED THE LOAD
A missionary in the Philippines was driving in a large flat back truck. He saw a local farmer who he knew walking with a really heavy load tied to his back. The load was obviously heavy and weighing him down, so the missionary stopped and told the farmer to jump on board the truck.
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Contributed by Gordon Curley on Nov 18, 2010
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PROVIDENCE
The word 'Providence' is made up of two words:
* "Pro" means "Before" and "Video" means "to see";
* The word 'Providence' simply means "to see before"
* So when we talk about the
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Contributed by Gordon Curley on Nov 18, 2010
ASTOR'S PROMISE
One stormy night an elderly couple entered the lobby of a small hotel and asked for a room. The clerk said they were full and they would probably find so were all the hotels in town. "But I can’t send a fine couple like you out in the rain. Would you be willing to sleep in my
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Contributed by Gordon Curley on Nov 18, 2010
SHAKESPEARE'S MISTAKE
In Shakespeare's Julius Caesar, Act II, Scene II, Caesar asks Brutus, "What is't o'clock?" Brutus replies, "Caesar, 'its strucken eight."
The great Bard had forgotten that mechanical clocks were not invented until 14
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Contributed by Gordon Curley on Nov 18, 2010
THE FROG FUTURE
A frog went to see a fortune-teller, Gazing into her crystal ball, she said to frog, "You are going to meet a beautiful young woman. From the moment she sets eyes on you she will have an insatiable desire to know all about you. She will be compelled to get close to you—you’ll
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Contributed by Gordon Curley on Nov 18, 2010
WHISTLER AND THE DOCTOR
James Whistler, the Victorian artist, showed scant respect for the hierarchy of any profession. When his poodle fell ill with a throat infection, the artist sent immediately for the country’s leading ear, nose, and throat specialist. Sir Morell Mackenzie was not amused when
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Contributed by Gordon Curley on Nov 18, 2010
A man opened a new business and his best friend sent him a floral arrangement. When the friend popped in to see him a few days later, he was shocked to see that the shop had sent a card saying; "Rest in peace."
When he called the florist to complain, the florist said; “It could be worse.
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