Introduction

Family, can we speak heart to heart for a moment about the most familiar instrument we own? It weighs almost nothing, hides behind our teeth, rides on our breath, and yet it shapes homes, churches, and Monday mornings. The tongue. Like a match in a dry field, our words can carry warmth or set things ablaze. Like rain on parched soil, our words can bring life where the ground has cracked. Every day, we’re given a new bundle of sentences to spend. We spend them at the breakfast table, in the school pickup line, on emails, in living rooms, and beneath streetlights. And the people around us—those we love, those who test our patience, those we barely know—are shaped by the syllables we send their way.

Maybe you can remember a teacher who told you, “You’ve got what it takes,” and that sentence still sings inside you. Or a sarcastic remark that stuck like a thorn and still stings when you think of it. Words linger. Words land. Words lift or limit. And Scripture tells us that the tongue is tiny, but the consequences are towering. No wonder James writes with such urgency and tenderness. He knows something we often forget: speech is stewardship. Our phrases are like seeds, and they will bear fruit.

So today, as we open James 3, we’ll do three simple things with God’s help: - Recognize the tongue’s power and danger—because small doesn’t mean safe. - Surrender words to God’s control—because the Father who saved us can also steady us. - Practice wisdom from above in every conversation—because Heaven’s wisdom still heals, still calms, still guides.

And to frame our hearts for what James will tell us, hear this clear word from J.I. Packer: “Wisdom is the power to see, and the inclination to choose, the best and highest goal, together with the surest means of attaining it.” —J.I. Packer, Knowing God

That’s what we’re asking for—sight for what is best, and help to choose it, syllable by syllable. Because when God takes hold of our tongues, He also touches our homes. When He trims our speech, He strengthens our souls. When He teaches us what to say, He teaches us when to be still. Are there conversations you wish you could rewind? Are there apologies you need to send? Are there words of blessing waiting on the tip of your tongue? The Lord stands ready to help.

Before we pray, let’s hear the Scripture in full.

James 3 (KJV) 1 My brethren, be not many masters, knowing that we shall receive the greater condemnation. 2 For in many things we offend all. If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body. 3 Behold, we put bits in the horses' mouths, that they may obey us; and we turn about their whole body. 4 Behold also the ships, which though they be so great, and are driven of fierce winds, yet are they turned about with a very small helm, whithersoever the governor listeth. 5 Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth! 6 And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell. 7 For every kind of beasts, and of birds, and of serpents, and of things in the sea, is tamed, and hath been tamed of mankind: 8 But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. 9 Therewith bless we God, even the Father; and therewith curse we men, which are made after the similitude of God. 10 Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be. 11 Doth a fountain send forth at the same place sweet water and bitter? 12 Can the fig tree, my brethren, bear olive berries? either a vine, figs? so can no fountain both yield salt water and fresh. 13 Who is a wise man and endued with knowledge among you? let him shew out of a good conversation his works with meekness of wisdom. 14 But if ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth. 15 This wisdom descendeth not from above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish. 16 For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work. 17 But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy. 18 And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace.

Opening Prayer Father, we come as Your children, grateful for Your grace and aware of our need. Set a guard over our mouths and keep watch over the door of our lips. Cleanse what we have said carelessly, heal what our words have harmed, and plant a new harvest of blessing in our speech. By Your Spirit, bridle our tongues, soften our tone, and season our sentences with mercy. Give us wisdom from above—pure, peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruit, without partiality and without hypocrisy. Teach us to speak life in our homes, our church, and our city. Let the words of our mouths and the meditations of our hearts be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, our rock and our redeemer. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Recognize the Tongue’s Power and Danger

James begins with a sober word. Those who teach are held to higher account. Words travel far when people listen. A sentence from a pulpit, a classroom, or a dinner table can mark minds for years. This is why he says judgment is weighty for those who lead with their lips. Yet he does not only speak to teachers. He includes us all. We all slip in many ways. And when we slip with our mouths, the fall is hard.

He also says that a person who does not stumble in speech shows a mature life. This does not mean a life without struggle. It means steady control. It means restraint. It means there is a bridle on the mouth, and because of that bridle the whole self is steadied. Talk shapes habits. Talk sets patterns. Talk hardens into paths. When speech is trained, the rest of life learns to line up.

James gives two plain pictures to help us feel this. A small bit in a horse’s mouth. A small rudder under a large ship. The bit is tiny, but the animal moves where it is turned. The rudder is small, but the vessel shifts even when the wind is strong. The scale looks off to the eye. Yet the tiny tool holds the sway.

This is how our tongues work. A brief phrase can steer a day. A tone can move the mood of a room. A word of fear can stall a plan. A word of faith can help a hard step. Small parts move big bodies. Short lines move long stories. Do not shrug at a sentence. It is a wheel that turns the cart.

Think of families. One harsh line at breakfast can hang over the house till night. Think of work teams. One careless email can bend a project. Think of friendships. One honest apology can open a door that was shut. The mouth moves the moment, and the moment moves much more.

James then uses a darker picture. He says the tongue is a fire. He calls it a world of wrong. It stains the whole body. It sets the course of life on fire. He even says it is set on fire by hell. He is not exaggerating. He is warning us. Sparks look small. Flames do not stay small.

Words can scorch a name. That mark spreads. Gossip grows like dry brush. Sarcasm wears grooves in a home. Lies burn trust to the ground. Half-truths smolder and smoke. People cough on the fumes for a long time. Whole seasons can be marked by words that ran hot for a minute.

He also says no one can tame the tongue. On our own, we are outmatched. We can tame beasts, birds, snakes, and fish. We build cages. We use ropes. We learn patterns. But our mouths slip the leash. They run fast when fear rises. They lash out when pride is bruised. They leak when secrecy is needed. This is why dependence is not extra. It is basic.

He calls the tongue full of deadly poison. That image is strong. Poison does not always kill at once. It can work slow. It can numb parts of a life. It can make a heart heavy. It can make joy thin. A small dose given day by day still harms. And when the dose is large, the damage is quick.

James also names a sad habit. We bless God with our mouths. Then we turn and curse people. These people bear God’s image. This is not a small fact. God stamped His likeness on them. To tear down a person is to forget that mark. Praise on Sunday and contempt on Monday do not fit together.

He asks simple questions. Does a spring send out sweet and bitter water at the same place. Can a fig tree bear olives. Can a vine bear figs. A spring keeps its kind. A tree keeps its kind. A vine keeps its kind. So speech should match its source. New birth should show up in new talk. A changed heart should sound like it has changed.

This calls for self-check. What fills my mouth when I am tired. What words come out when I am unseen. What do I say about the driver, the cashier, the child, the parent, the co-worker. Do I speak as if God’s image is on them. Do I remember that He hears every syllable. Honest answers help.

James ties speech to wisdom as well. He asks, Who is wise and understanding. He does not point us to big claims. He points us to a good way of life. He points us to meekness that comes with wisdom. That kind of wisdom does not brag. It does not pick fights. It does not feed envy. It does not twist the truth to win.

He contrasts kinds of wisdom by their fruit. Earthly talk stirs disorder and hurt. Heavenly wisdom makes peace and grows good fruit. Listen to the marks he gives. Pure. Peaceable. Gentle. Open to reason. Full of mercy and good fruit. Without partiality. Without hypocrisy. Those words describe wise speech.

What does that sound like in real time. Pure words avoid trash and taint. Peaceable words keep a calm edge even in heat. Gentle words spare the bruise when a point is made. Open words are ready to hear and adjust. Merciful words give a soft place for weakness to land. Consistent words do not shift with the crowd. Sincere words match the life behind them.

This kind of talk takes practice. Slow down before you speak. Count to three. Breathe. Ask, Is this pure. Is this peaceable. Is this gentle. Is this open to reason. Is this full of mercy. Is this steady and sincere. Simple checks guard a lot of ground.

It also takes repair. Some things have been said that need attention. A call can be made. A text can be sent. A face-to-face can be set up. Say the words, I said this. It was wrong. Please forgive me. Do not pad it. Do not hide the sharp part. Own the line. Then say a better line.

And it takes planting new patterns. Read Scripture out loud. Pray short prayers before meetings. Bless your home at the door with a kind word. Keep quiet when you do not yet know. Ask good questions. Thank people by name. Speak hope that is grounded in God’s promises. Over time, these habits shape the mouth and the mood of the places you stand.

Surrender Words to God’s Control

So what do we do with our mouths today? We hand them over ... View this full PRO sermon free with PRO