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"When Friends Fail” Series
Contributed by Gordon Curley on Sep 15, 2019 (message contributor)
Summary: Job’s three friends talked too much and listened too little. We should resist interpreting God’s will for another person’s disaster. What people really need is compassionate listeners. (PowerPoint slides to accompany this talk are available on request – email: gcurley@gcurley.info)
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SERMON OUTLINE:
(1). Good Advice
(2). Job's comforters (2:11-13):
• Eliphaz will speak from a viewpoint of his experience.
• Bildad will speak from the viewpoint of tradition
• Zophar will speak from the viewpoint of his own assumptions
• Elihu will speak from the viewpoint of an angry heart
(3). Job and Me! - How to Succeed as a friend:
• Be there for them.
• Cry with them
• Listen to them
• Minister to them
• Pray with them
SERMON BODY
Quote: Mark Twain.
“The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog.”
• We might smile at that statement,
• But all of us need human friendship and without it, life is lonely!
Ill:
• A British publication once offered a prize for the best definition of a friend.
• Among the thousands of answers received were the following:
• "One who multiplies joys, divides grief, and whose honesty is invaluable."
• "One who understands our silence."
• "A watch that beats true for all time and never runs down."
• The winning definition read:
• "A friend is the one who comes in when the whole world has gone out."
• Quote: A small boy defined a friend as
• "Someone who knows all about you and likes you just the same."
• Quote: C.S. Lewis.
• “Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another,
• "What! You, too? I thought I was the only one."”
• Quote: Marlene Dietrick
• “It’s the friends you can call up at 4am that matter.”
(1). Good adVICE:
Ill:
Now to help you build friendships, here are 5 Tips from Dale Carnegie.
• Become genuinely interested in other people.
• People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.
• Smile.
• If you want to draw others to you, light up your face with a smile.
• Remember names.
• A person’s name is the sweetest and most important sound to that person.
• Be a good listener.
• Encourage others to talk about themselves.
• Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
• Treat others the way they want to be treated.
(2). Job’s Comforters
• Last week we briefly touched on the fact that Job’s friends turn up.
• They go by the well-known name, ‘Job’s Comforters.’
• They first turn up in chapter 2 verse 11:
When Job’s three friends, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite, heard about all the troubles that had come upon him, they set out from their homes and met together by agreement to go and sympathise with him and comfort him.
Note:
• In these verses, I see five quick insights from Job’s friends did;
• That you and I can take on board to help a hurting friend:
FIRST: THEY CAME.
• Job’s friends travelled to be with him.
• They could have stayed home and prayed for their friend.
• They could have sent him flowers and a card (nothing wrong with that),
• But these friends did more.
• They sacrificed for their friend.
• They must have left their jobs and families behind;
• And spent their own money to travel from their homeland to be with Job.
• Lesson #1: Sacrifice for your friends in time of need.
SECOND: THEY WORKED TOGETHER.
• The Bible says they “made an appointment together to come and mourn.”
• (Job chapter 2 verse 11).
• In short, they reached arranged together how they might collectively help Job.
• One of them started the ball rolling, and got the others involved.
• And they all decided the best course of action would be to show up together as one group.
• Lesson #2: Share the news and get others involved if possible.
• But be sensitive to how many people come together at once to help the hurting person.
THIRD: THEY SHOWED APPROPRIATE EMOTION.
• The Bible tells us that when they saw Job, they couldn’t recognize him.
• “They lifted up their voices and wept” for their friend.
• (Job chapter 2 verse 11).
• Here we see Job’s friends seeing the situation for what it was.
• They deeply grieved for Job. And they expressed the right emotion in the right way.
• They didn’t try and pretend everything was ok or would be ok,
• Lesson #3: Express emotion that is equal to the circumstances.
FOURTH: THEY STAYED WITH JOB.
• This was not a short hospital visit where they said, “Hello, how are you doing?”
• Then the ate Job’s grapes and disappeared, never to return.
• We read that Job’s friends stayed with him.
• They sat down on the ground and were with him for at least seven days and nights.