"What We Believe About Marriage - Part One"

Our church says: “We define marriage as a life covenant between one man and one woman according to the Scripture.”

1. The basis of our belief about marriage -

Our beliefs must be derived from the truth of Scripture, not the whims of culture. Since God is our creator, He knows how it is best for us to live. By contrast, since man is not the creator, he doesn’t have a clue.

“There is a way that seems right to a man,but in the end it leads to death.” - Proverbs 14:12 (NIV)

“Every word I’ve spoken to you is a Spirit-word, and so it is life-making.” - John 6:63 (The Message)

So, in determining what we believe about marriage, we do not look to changing culture, but to the changeless Word of God. (READ TEXT)

The Pharisees really didn’t want an answer, they just wanted get Him in trouble. Maybe they

thought they could get Him in trouble with Herod, the way John the Baptist did when he denounced Herod for divorcing his wife to marry his brother-in-law’s wife. But notice how Jesus answered them. He appealed to the Scriptures (v. 4).

2. The basics of our belief about marriage -

A. The nature of marriage - vs. 3-6

1) Marriage is God’s idea - v. 4

2) Marriage is to be between a man and a woman - v. 4

3) Marriage is to be monogamous - v. 4

4) Marriage involves commitment - v. 5-6a

In the ancient world families lived with multiple generations in one house. You can only imagine the commitment required for an ancient couple! But notice how this commitment is to one’s spouse over . . .

A) Parents - I believe this goes both ways, too. Not only should married children seek to be on their own, but parents of married children should also let them.

B) Children - Parents are to love their children, but eventually, their children are to leave father and mother to go out on their own, too.

Sadly, when the kids leave, parents find they are married to a stranger, because one or both lived for their children before living for each other.

C) Self - “So they are no longer two, but one.” I no longer have only myself to consider when making decision, but my spouse. When I decide or do affects not just me, but them, as well.

5) Marriage is the only acceptable context for sexual relations - v. 5

“One flesh” refers to the final step in their “becoming one.”

Man is comprised of spirit, soul and body (1 Thessalonians 5:23). The oneness God desires is a oneness in all three areas - spiritual oneness, emotional oneness, and physical oneness. That is also God’s order for things. First comes spiritual oneness - both have a personal relationship with Christ and a common commitment to Him (2 Corinthians 6:14). Second comes the attraction to one another as friends. They like being together - there is emotional oneness. Finally, after deciding by God’s direction to spend the rest of their lives together, they marry and experience physical oneness (Hebrews 13:4). Thus, becoming “one.”

In Greek, there are three words for “love.” “Agape” refers to God’s love for us and the love we believers are to have for each other. “Phileo” refers to a love between people with a connection. It is an “I love you because I like you” kind of love. “Eros” refers to physical attraction and sexuality. God’s desire is for us to know love in all its dimensions through spiritual, emotional, and then, within the context of marriage, physical oneness.

The world’s way is opposite. Couples start with physical attraction, then friendship, and then, usually after kids arrive, or after problems arise, there is concern about spiritual things.

6) Marriage is a covenant, not a contract - v. 6b

A) A covenant entered into with God.

God never intended for marriage to be a convenience-based contract that we could easily get out of but a character-based covenant that we would be committed to for life. A contract is an agreement between two parties, but God intends that three parties be involved in marriage.

Marriage is a covenant between the couple and God. A true covenant marriage is always a threesome: God, husband, and wife.

“A rope made from three strands of cord is hard to break.” - Ecclesiastes 4:12 (CEV)

A rope made of three strands is the strongest because all the strands touch each other. The addition of more strands does not strengthen a rope because the additional strands cannot “touch” each other. In times of stress, when one or two strands begin to fray, the third strand will keep the rope from breaking.

Marriage binds together a man, a woman, and God. As they stay in close contact with each other and God, there is an unbreakable bond.