What My Wife Taught Me

Allow me to take a moment to address this issue of love. I sometimes question whether modern people actually can define love. As discussed in a prior message [4], the modern hook-up culture has destroyed the concept of dating, which was actually ritualised opportunity for a young man and a young woman to get to know one another. The purpose of dating was to take time to learn who these two individuals are. Dating allows a young man to advance such outmoded concepts as courtesy and consideration to the forefront of the relationship. It allows the young woman to put into practise such necessary ideals as respect and complementarity. Dating provides opportunity to learn some of the likes and dislikes that define each of these two individuals; it allows the young man and the young woman to begin to appreciate the unique character of one another.

The modern concept that has replaced dating is the hook-up culture in which the two individuals meet to “hang out” and then tumble into bed to “hook-up.” There is no commitment, no consideration of one another as unique individuals, no way to honour either family or God. The entire procedure is a rushed effort meant to gratify self. As I have said before, sex is the easy part about coupling; love, however, eludes modern couples in the new hook-up culture.

I’ve now been married for more than fifty years; I hope I’ve learned a thing or two about love. Though most people under the age of thirty would consider me older than dirt, I was once a young man madly in love with a beautiful young woman. Mature reflection compels me to confess that we were certainly drawn to one another. There was a definite attraction, but I’m hard-pressed to say that we actually knew much about love. Love grew as the years passed. It was the pressure of living together, learning to trust one another and two becoming one that ensured that we would learn what love meant.

I was enthralled with my young bride; I didn’t want to be separated longer than I needed to be away. She was eager for me to spend time with her. Since those heady days early in our marriage, I believe that I have learned something of God’s intent for a husband and wife. The Word of God teaches me, “The LORD God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.’ Now out of the ground the LORD God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. So, the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said,

‘This at last is bone of my bones

and flesh of my flesh;