What Is True Love?

There’s a lot of so-called love in our world today that is not really love but is instead based on selfishness and even lust. Many couples marry to satisfy their own selfish needs, realizing later that it doesn’t work.

There IS such a thing as true love, which is a selfless love. This is the kind of love the Bible talks about when it speaks of God’s love for us. It’s also the kind of love that the Bible describes briefly—but profoundly—in 1 Corinthians 13:4–7: “Love … is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things … endures all things.”

This is a very high standard and is made possible by strength that comes in believing in Jesus Christ and asking for His power to fulfill such a lofty goal in any relationship. What would happen if mankind truly lived by this standard?

God wants everyone to understand what true love is, because it first comes from Him. No matter what pressures others might apply, stand strong!

God’s standards are often dismissed or scored as old-fashioned. But God’s standards have not changed, and neither have His promises to those who follow Christ. Many young people today are seeking to honor God in their lives, and trusting God proves to lead the way that is always best.

“All you need is love.” So sang the Beatles. If they’d been singing about God’s love, the statement would have a grain of truth in it. But what usually goes by the name love in popular culture is not authentic love at all; it’s a deadly fraud. Far from being “all you need,” it’s something you desperately need to avoid.

The Apostle Paul makes that very point in Ephesians 5:1–3. He writes:

Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints.

The simple command of verse 2 (“walk in love, as Christ loved us”) sums up the whole moral obligation of the Christian. After all, God’s love is the single, central principle that defines the Christian’s entire duty. This kind of love is really “all you need.” Romans 13:8–10 says: The one who loves another has fulfilled the law. The commandments . . . are summed up in this word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfilling of the law.

Galatians 5:14 echoes that selfsame truth: “The whole law is fulfilled in one word: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’” Jesus likewise taught that all the Law and the Prophets hang on two simple principles about love—the first and second great commandments (Matt. 22:38–40). In other words, “love . . . is the bond of perfection” (Col. 3:14, NKJV).

When Paul commands us to walk in love, the context reveals that in positive terms, he is talking about being kind, tenderhearted, and forgiving to one another (Eph. 4:32). The model for such selfless love is Christ, who gave His life to save His people from their sins. “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lays down his life for his friends” (John 15:13). And “if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another” (1 John 4:11).

In other words, true love is always sacrificial, self-giving, merciful, compassionate, sympathetic, kind, generous, and patient. These and many other positive, benevolent qualities (see 1 Cor. 13:4–8) are what Scripture associates with divine love.

God manifests His love in a way that upheld His holiness, justice, and righteousness without compromise.

But notice the negative side as well, also seen in the context of Ephesians 5. The person who truly loves others as Christ loves us must refuse every kind of counterfeit love. The Apostle Paul names some of these satanic forgeries. They include immorality, impurity, and covetousness. The passage continues:

Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving. For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. Therefore do not associate with them. (Eph. 5:4–7)

Immorality is perhaps our generation’s favorite substitute for love. Paul uses the Greek word porneia, which includes every kind of sexual sin. Popular culture desperately tries to blur the line between genuine love and immoral passion. But all such immorality is a total perversion of genuine love because it seeks self-gratification rather than the good of others.