Tough Love In The Church

TOUGH LOVE IN THE CHURCH

Matthew 18:15-17

1 Corinthians 5:1-11

1 Timothy 1:18-20

Titus 3:10-11

1. Illus. of teenager gone wild

• Young man of about 18 went wild.

• Would drink, do drugs, come home raging and tear up the place.

• Would come to blows with mom and dad.

• Finally, parents had to administer “tough love.” They sat the boy down, told him, “son, we love you. However, our behavior is unacceptable. Until you clean up your act, you are no longer welcome in this house. Pack your things and leave.”

2. The Bible says that sometimes the church must practice tough love. There may be times when a church-member behaves so unacceptably that the body a whole has to do something about it. In essence they say, “we love you, but your behavior is unacceptable. Until you clean up your act, you can no longer be a part of this household of faith.”

3. I want to survey what the Bible teaches on this subject by asking five questions, and then answering them from the scripture.

I. “WHAT EXACTLY IS MEANT BY CHURCH DISCIPLINE?”

1. Let’s see how the various passages we read describe it:

 Matthew 18:17- Let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector…In other words, you are to relate to him as if he were not your brother in Christ, but rather a lost person.

 1 Corinthians 5:5- Deliver such a one to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, that his spirit may be saved in the day of Jesus Christ… In other words, he is to be thrust back into the world, separated from the protection of the local church. Since Satan is the prince of this world, he will most likely suffer at the hands of Satan.

 1 Timothy 1:20- talks about being delivered to Satan…

 Titus 3:10- reject a divisive person

2. So, while the Bible teaches the essence of church discipline, it doesn’t exactly define the boundaries of it!

3. Illus. of man in last pastorate

• Man living in open and rebellious sin.

• Knew we had to discipline him, but didn’t know exactly what to do.

• Did it mean that we were to remove him from membership, leadership, fellowship, and worship (not allowed to attend church). Did it mean all of these, none of these, some of these?

4. Based on my study of the scripture at that time, I came up with the following personal convictions.

 They are excluded from membership (heathen and tax collector).

 They are excluded from leadership (cannot hold any job or position).

 They are excluded from fellowship (while people could send them a note saying they loved them and were praying they would come to their senses, they were not to continue to take them out, go to house and eat etc.).

 They were NOT excluded from worship. Hopefully the ministry of the Word would produce repentance in their hearts.

5. What is discipline? It is removing them from membership, leadership, and fellowship in the church, deliberately thrusting them into Satan’s world system in an effort to stop their sin.

II. “WHAT KIND OF SIN QUALIFIES FOR CHURCH DISCIPLINE?”

1. Does every sin qualify as grounds for church discipline? No, it doesn’t! Only when two things are true does a sin qualify for discipline:

 It is stubborn and rebellious sin- Titus says the divisive person is to receive two warnings before he is rejected from the church. No doubt that is another way of saying what Matthew 18 does (one, two witnesses, then the church)

 It hinders the advancement of the church- False doctrine and division hinder from the inside by weakening the church. Certain sins, like those listed in 1 Corinthians 5, hinder by ruining the churches credibility with the lost world (sexual sin, greedy or dishonest business practices, partying, drunkenness, etc)!

2. Illus. of my grandads church

• Had a shouting committee. If you got up in church and shouted, they would investigate your life the next week. If you weren’t living it, they wouldn’t let you shout anymore!

• Shouting committee once investigated a man, and found out he was guilty of a heinous sin, and recommended him for church discipline. Do you know what it was? Playing cards! LOL! How silly!

3. Not every sin qualifies for church discipline. But when a person stubbornly persists in behavior that hinders the advancement of the church, God says bring them under church discipline!

III. “WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF CHURCH DISCIPLINE?”

1. Over the years, I’ve had people suggest church discipline for some erring Christian. With very few exceptions, I’ve found the people who wanted to discipline these individuals had exactly the wrong attitude! They wanted to punish these people, or retaliate against these people.