The Wedding Model Of Communion

Many of you will have noted how I keep coming back to the subject of covenant when we come together for communion; that when we share the cup – even figuratively – we are reaffirming an agreement we have with God. The agreement is that we accept the gift of Christ’s death on the cross as atonement for our sin and that we will be His church – his people – His bride.

What many of you may not automatically understand is that this mystery – the meal of communion – is rooted in an ancient Hebrew tradition regarding betrothal and marriage. Indeed, the Passover itself is rooted in this model – the model of the Ketubah – or betrothal.

Our reading from John 14 today underscores this link. It follows immediately on from Jesus washing the feet of the disciples, his prediction of Judas’ betrayal and his prediction of Peter’s denial. That is to say – it’s right in the middle of the Last Supper.

All through the Gospels, Jesus relied on the ancient Jewish wedding pattern for many of His parables, prophecies and promises climaxing in His promise in the Upper Room. But many of us miss the full impact of these allusions because we aren’t familiar with the model of ancient Jewish wedding practices. So let me explain.

The first step in any Jewish marriage was an agreement of a dowery or “bride price” which was formalized in a contract or covenant called a “Ketubah.”

The bride and groom were officially betrothed when the Ketubah was solemnised, normally over a meal. But whether a meal was shared or not, the groom and the bride would seal the agreement by sharing a cup of wine over which the betrothal had been pronounced.

The groom would then pay the bride price and at that point, the marriage covenant was established. The young man and woman were regarded as husband and wife. From that moment on, the bride was declared to be holy and consecrated or sanctified – set apart – exclusively for her bridegroom.

The groom would then leave his bride at her home and return to his father’s house, where he would remain separated from his bride for an indefinite period.

During this period of separation, the groom would prepare a dwelling place in his father’s house to which he would later bring his bride.

Likewise during this time, the bride would gather her trousseau and prepare for married life. She would keep herself apart from other men and would be learning all her duties as wife. Periodically she celebrate the betrothal with her entourage, reminding people of the covenant and displaying the price the groom had paid. This is, to all points and purposes, what we do when we celebrate the communion. We remember the Lord’s death – the price he paid under the covenant with us – and we look forward with joyous expectation to his return.

At the end of the period of separation, the bridegroom would come – usually at night – to take his bride to live with him. The groom, the best man, and other male escorts would leave the father’s house and conduct a torch-light procession to the home of the bride. Although the bride was expecting her groom to come for her, she did not know when he would come. As a result, the groom’s arrival was a surprise, announced by a shout after which she to be gathered to him.

This is what Paul was describing in 1 Thessalonians 4:16-17, which says; “For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive and remain will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we shall always be with the Lord.”

After the groom received his bride, together with her female attendants, the enlarged wedding party returned from the bride’s home to the groom’s father’s house, where the wedding guests had assembled.

And if you had any doubts as to the connection between the Jewish customs of betrothal and the Church, all we need do is look at Ephesians 5:22-33.

“Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Saviour. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church – for we are members of his body. ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ This is a profound mystery – but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”