The Survey Says

I have noticed that there are a lot of folks over 40 looking for a mate on the social networks. My son met his wife online and I am a Techie so I am not opposed to the concept. I will say y’all need to be careful. A lot of danger lurks on the web.

I have learned over the years from my many degrees earned at Hard Knocks University and my counseling people that until you learn to love yourself by discovering yourself there will never be a mate to complete you. Unless you know what you have in yourself you won’t really know what you need to complete yourself. Hunkness and Babeness goes away pretty quickly so you can’t depend on your body to please you for very long. You must know in your soul and spirit the gifts that God gave you and then find someone those gifts will complement for they will most likely have the gifts that will complement you. Only then will both of you be complete and able to endure the hardships of life as well as enjoy its pleasures.

The old country song warns about "looking for love in all the wrong places searchin’ for love in too many faces" and that is a good warning. Develop a list of traits you feel are what will complement yours and be nice to those who do not fit that list but zero in on the few that do. As a pastor, I would be remiss if I did not tell you to pray for the right mate. He knows better than you what you need. I have seen too many marriages and relationships fail that I knew were doomed from the start but one or both of the folks involved were blinded by the heated rush of lust or drunken on the sweet wine of romance but they did not have the internal fuel to keep the flame burning for life after both of those pieces of tinder were consumed.

Another reason to learn to love yourself and be content with the state that you are in is because you indeed may be alone the rest of your life. The surveys show that chances of finding that true love after 40 are pretty tough. After 40, the good lads and lassies are usually already taken or dead. Especially the lads, as MIs become quite common after 40 and 50% of those first time MIs are last time MIs thus the number of eligible women increase and the number of men period decrease making the competition stiffer. They then go on to list the amount of "undesirables" that are available knocking down the potential mates as well. In many places, women outnumber the men by as much as 7 to 1. That is great for the guys who are looking for the record for bedding women and the ones looking for something much better but for the women those stats stink.

So do you give up since it seems impossible?

No, just get the right matchmaker and it isn’t any of the online ones.

Luke 18:27 And he said, The things which are impossible with men are possible with God. KJV

Eternal salvation is impossible without Christ and a truly fulfilling life relationship is also impossible without Him. God knows what we need and He said that if we would seek the kingdom of God first all we need will come when we find Him. Be safe. Be Blessed! Maranatha!