The Perfect Gift For Christmas

The Perfect Gift For Christmas

Luke 1:39-56

Time is running out. You only have a few days left to shop. I know you want to get the perfect gift for your loved ones this Christmas. As your pastor, I feel a special responsibility to help so I have searched the catalogs, Christmas flyers, and Internet opportunities that might narrow your list as you try and find the perfect gift. Let me just give you a sampling of some of the items that you should not buy your husband or wife this year.

TOP TEN GIFTS YOUR WIVES DON’T WANT FOR CHRISTMAS

10. A car wash kit.

9. A table saw.

8. Two all-day passes to Circuit City’s Home Theatre Installation Seminar.

7. A case of oil.

6. Five-year subscription to Sports Illustrated.

5. Tickets to the WWF “New Year’s Slamfest.”

4. New outboard motor for fishing boat.

3. Rambo Trilogy on DVD.

2. New satellite dish with sports package.

1. Three-year membership to Weight-Watchers Clinic.

TOP TEN GIFTS YOUR HUSBANDS DON’T WANT FOR CHRISTMAS

10. Anne of Green Gables Collectors Edition DVD with 74 minutes of extra footage.

9. Any knick-knack.

8. Tickets to the ballet.

7. Another new tie.

6. A Bath and Body Works Soap Basket.

5. New teddy bear pajamas.

4. Vacuum cleaner.

3. A weekend seminar on "Getting in Touch With Your Feelings."

2. Pair of fuzzy bunny slippers.

1. A nose and ear hair trimmer. (Contributed by Jonathon’sResources.com)

If you are looking for the perfect gift for your husband, wife, boyfriend, or girlfriend this Christmas then I would encourage you to heed the advice and stay away from the items we’ve just listed.

On the other hand, if you are looking for the perfect gift this Christmas, then there are some things that you might want to consider. I have done my homework and have a few suggestions for you. Let’s begin.

First of all, let me give you some ideas for the kids. Those of you who have young sons are assured of receiving “Parent of the Year” awards if you buy your son a chance to be a “ball boy” for a day. We’re not talking about being a ball boy for the Sooners or Cowboys, but how about the New York Knicks! This gift idea comes to us from the Neiman Marcus Christmas Book. Your son’s gift will begin an hour and a half before the game as your child arrives for the big game and won’t end until the game is over and he is hanging with the players in the locker room celebrating the victory. Two club level seats are included in this package, as well as a premium gift bag with one-of-a-kind Knicks’ memorabilia. The cost? Whose worried about the cost when it is for one of our precious little ones right? Well, the cost is a bargain basement $10,000.00!

Those of us who have little girls couldn’t bear the thought of having her little heart broken because her brother got a better gift than she did, right? I’ve found the perfect gift for the little princess of our hearts. How about being a Radio City Music Hall Rockette for a day. A day as a Rockette at New York’s Radio City Music Hall begins with a Rockettes’ dance training class. After practice we are off to have a costume fitting with the Radio City wardrobe department. After hair and makeup are professionally done, the day culminates with a once-in-a-lifetime role as an extra in the Radio City Christmas Spectacular. This experience also includes four tickets to the Christmas Spectacular, a tour of the Music Hall, and a ‘meet and greet’ photo opportunity backstage with the Rockettes. The cost? A mere $10,000.00 – the same we will spend on our sons!

You ladies that want to get your man the perfect Christmas gift, have I got a deal for you! This year you don’t have to get him another gift certificate to Home Depot or a dozen golf balls. You can get him a new pair of boots! These are not just any cowboy boots, these are meticulously handcrafted boots made of ranch-raised American alligator. The tops are crafted of supple mocha-hued French calfskin that has been hand cut and detailed. The boots are made in El Paso, Texas and will only set you back $2500.00! For another $2200.00 you can get him a Resistol Hat made of beaver and sable fur. The boots are on my list!

Ladies, you know what a hassle it is to fight the Christmas traffic, try and find a parking place at a crowded mall, or to wait in line to pick up your child after school. Well, have no fear because I’m giving your husbands a gift idea that is certain to solve all of your problems. I’m encouraging you men to dig deep this Christmas and show your honey how much love her with the Neiman Marcus Limited Edition 430 Helicopter from Bell. The ride is as smooth as silk, the cabin as quiet as a luxury car, the interior surrounds you in luxury with beige Italian leather seats, embossed Italian leather sidewalls, custom rosewood finishes, a passenger refreshment center, and deluxe sculpted carpeting with the Neiman Marcus logo inlaid. Forget “Calgon take me away!” You can be swept away in your own Bell helicopter. Men, you’re going to have dig a little for this one, but it will pay huge dividends come Valentine’s Day. The cost is $6,700,000.00!