The Kisses You Do Not Want Series

“You’ve got this cute girl, why don’t you try to win something for her?”

He appealed to my pride and to my vanity.

So, I stepped up and took my hand at the game… and I lost.

I tried a couple more times… and lost.

I finally decided this wasn’t the game for me. But when he saw me begin to turn away, he played more on my pride and my vanity. But mostly… he just shamed me into it.

Before I knew it, I had spent $20… and I hadn’t won a thing.

I learned a lesson that night. I don’t play those kind of games anymore.

My point is this: while kissing doesn’t get the job done nowadays - flattery and smooth talking will. Flattery works because it appeals to the image we have of ourselves. When someone appeals to our vanity, they’re actually telling us what we already believe about ourselves, and wish others would notice.

Flattery works - and there are people out there who will use it against you, either because you have something they want, or because they’ll dislike you for something you’ve done, or said, or stand for.

The Bible warns us about such people. In Proverbs 26:24-26 we’re told:

“A malicious man disguises himself with his lips, but in his heart he harbors deceit.

Though his speech is charming, do not believe him, for seven abominations fill his heart. His malice may be concealed by deception, but his wickedness will be exposed in the assembly.”

Jude 1:16 says there are wicked people out there who will “boast about themselves and flatter others for their own advantage.”

Even people who are supposed to be Christians can do this to you. Romans 16:18 says:

“For such people are not serving our Lord Christ, but their own appetites. By smooth talk and flattery they deceive the minds of naive people.”

ILLUS: I was talking to a minister not so long ago. His church recently went through a church split. The split had nothing to do immorality or heresy. It had to do with power.

There were people in the church who wanted more power than they had, and so they quietly began to spread discontent in the congregation. But while they were criticizing the Preacher and the Elders BEHIND their backs, these individuals would be all hugs, and kisses and “words of love” TO their face.

They were all sweetness and light, and words filled with affection. Then – one Sunday – they just up and walked out of church as a group. And they made sure everybody at church KNEW why they were leaving. And they started a new congregation on the other side of town.

These folks gave kisses and hugs until they were ready to make their move.

They didn’t love the church they left.

They didn’t love the preacher or the Elders.

They had an agenda, and they were willing to do whatever was necessary to get what they wanted.

A flatterer gets you to trust them… and then they betray you.

You know, it’s tough when someone you thought you could trust BETRAYS you. Someone who was close to you, and then they hurt you. And when they hurt you badly enough, they become (pause) your enemy.

And now, you’ve got to figure out what to do with them.