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Summary: The solution to disunity caused by suffering is joy from gospel partnership

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Philippians 1:1 Paul and Timothy, servants of Christ Jesus, To all the saints in Christ Jesus at Philippi, together with the overseers and deacons: 2 Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. 3 I thank my God every time I remember you. 4 In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy 5 because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now

Introduction: Loneliness

I did some reading this week on what one author referred to as the “epidemic” of loneliness in our culture. One study showed that in 2010, 35% of people 45 and over reported being chronically lonely. A decade earlier, it was only 20%. Our culture is becoming more and more individualistic and isolated, and it is creating a major problem with loneliness. How about you? Do you struggle with feeling like you don’t have anyone to talk to, no one really understands you, you find yourself fairly often waiting for someone to call you or email, or you feel unable to reach out to others in a meaningful way, you feel starved for company, it’s hard to make friends, or you feel excluded – on the outside looking in with the people who matter to you? More and more people are finding themselves feeling that way, and that’s a concern for researchers because loneliness is linked to all kinds of health problems. Lonely people almost always have poor health. Those feelings cause stress hormones which, if you have them for an extended period, cause things like diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, neurodegenerative diseases, Alzheimer’s, obesity, and even cancer, as tumors metastasize faster in lonely people. The military is spending millions of dollars trying to address the problem of loneliness because lonely soldiers don’t function well in battle. One famous researcher had amazing results helping mentally ill people just by addressing their loneliness. And she postulated that “loneliness lay at the heart of nearly all mental illness …, and no patient was too sick to be healed through trust and intimacy.”

Of all the problems we have, you would think loneliness would be the easiest one to solve. How hard could it be to cure loneliness in a world of seven billion people? But the mere presence of people doesn’t cure it – even in the church. Churches are constantly coming up with new programs and groups to help people get connected ? singles groups, men’s ministries, women’s ministries, youth groups, fellowship groups, community groups, retreats, picnics, game nights – everything imaginable to help people develop friendships. The problem is, lonely people don’t come to those things. One of the most interesting things I read in the research was the fact that the more loneliness a person feels, the more he will tend to respond by withdrawing from people. When you’re not feeling lonely, you will go out and be with people, but when feelings of loneliness come, it actually makes you more reluctant to be with people. And the reason for that is loneliness or non-loneliness is not simply a function of whether or not you are around people. According to the researchers, it has more to do with worrying about what people think of you. Lonely people tend to make a lot of assumptions about how others perceive them. They interpret every little thing as a sign that people don’t like them or look down on them. And when you think people are looking down on you or don’t like you, you don’t want to be around them.

So some of the leading experts in the field are trying to address the problem by teaching classes on how to read body language. They figure if we can teach lonely people how to correctly interpret facial expressions and body language, then they won’t keep assuming people don’t like them. The problem with that is, even if you could read people perfectly (which you never can, but even if you could), you would see that some people really don’t like you. Here is the reality: As long as you are focused on what people think of you, you are always going to feel unloved, neglected, look down on, or even rejected.

So what’s the solution? I believe the solution is found in the book of Philippians. One of the most striking things about the book of Philippians is the depth of intimacy and profoundness of the friendships that you read about in that book. Philippians is commonly known as the book of joy, but I think it would be equally accurate to call it the book of love, or the book of friendship. It is the book of joy, but it was joy that came specifically from the intimacy of the friendships that existed in the church. So whether you are lonely, or you just lack joy in your life for some other reason, this book is going to be a great help to you.

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