'the'

‘THE’ –

o The year was 1986 – my mom walked in with me into the school. We walked together into my class room.–the basic problem was this – my mom was complaining to my school teacher – he does not speak anything except Malayalam in the house(he refuses to speak English) – what should I do about him?

o 24 years later I don’t remember the content of the discussion that ensued (and I don’t want to remember also!) – but what do I remember is – the final verdict – from now on I am expected to speak only ENGLISH – no Malayalam – in school my teacher would be watching me – at home my mom would be watching me

o That’s how began my long journey with the most widely spoken language in the history of our planet. Used by one out of every seven human beings around the globe. The language in which half of the world's books are written. The language in which majority of international telephone calls are made. Over sixty percent of the world's radio programs is in this language. More than seventy percent of international mail is written and eighty percent of all computer text is stored in English. English has acquired the largest vocabulary of all the world's languages, perhaps as many as two million words, and has generated one of the noblest bodies of literature in the annals of the human race.

o Since, 1986, as I experimented with the use and misuse of this language – I discovered very early– English is quite a crazy language

o Blackbird hen is brown in colour – and blackboards need not be black can be blue or green.

o There is no butter in buttermilk, no egg in eggplant, no grape in grapefruit, no bread in shortbread, neither mush nor room in mushroom, neither pine nor apple in pineapple, neither peas nor nuts in peanuts, and no ham in a hamburger.

o English muffins weren't invented in England, french fries in France, or Danish pastries in Denmark

o And the more we study this language

o we find that hot dogs can be cold, darkrooms can be lit, homework can be done in school, nightmares can take place in broad daylight while morning sickness and daydreaming can take place at night,

o How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same and a bad licking and a good licking be the same

o And my favourite confusion with this language – we have ‘running nose’ and ‘smelling feet’

o In school – there was a time this language called English terrorised me when they introduced this book called ‘Wren and Martin’. I did not mind – Speaking English, writing English, listening English – but this book said we all got to speak grammatically correct English

o And this book talked about alien stuff – past perfect tense, present passive tense, and it went on and on! Till I lived a very tense life

o That’s when this book introduced 3 tiny words which English calls it as ‘articles’

o The first 2 articles are ‘a’ and ‘an’ – which English calls as indefinite articles and the third article is a 3-letter word(which English calls as a definite article) and the word is(which I have already used countless times in my talk thus far)

o (‘THE’ Video)

o This tiny 3-letter word ‘THE’ is going to provide the framework for what’s going to happen at SOAR Live 2011!

o Jacob, what’s big deal with this ‘THE’ ? That’s a good question

o I am hoping by the end of tonight’s talk you will discover THE big deal –but just as starter I want you to understand the difference between ‘a or an’ and ‘the’

o (when somebody states) ‘My friend’s son wants to buy a dog this Christmas’( He is talking about any dog – we don’t know which dog as he has not found the dog yet)

o ‘The dog that bit me ran away’ (He is talking THE dog – a specific dog which bites)

o (all wearing a sweater or jacket stand) – all of you stood up – but if I were to say (please stand if you are wearing ‘the’ sweater I gave you’) – hmmm nobody is here – I think he ran away with it

o (All the girls please stand) If a guy were to come up here and say ‘You know what, I love a girl out here’ I will say ‘Ok, which girl are you talking about’ He responds ‘Well that’s not important – as I have not made up my mind – any girl will do’ But If another guy was to come up here and say ‘You know what ‘the’ girl wearing multi-colour sweater – the girl with blue contacts – the girl with multi-colour shoes and hair – I am in love with the girl’