The Issue Of Unforgiveness And Bitterness

One of the secret sins believers can be easily guilty of is being unwilling to forgive which leads to bitterness. Even though it is often assumed to be more acceptable, unforgiveness is no less an offense to God than any other sin. It is the failure to deal with forgiveness that produces bitterness. Bitterness is the destructive result of unforgiveness…bitterness is the fruit; unforgiveness is the root. “[Unforgiveness] cumulatively produces a deep-seated bitterness. It’s an infectious cancer in the heart, and it metastasizes.

Wherever that first problem was, wherever that first offense was, it begins to grow, and it begins to grow and expand and take over more and more of your life; and bitterness becomes malignant. Thoughts become malignant. Memories become harassing memories that distort how you see life. Anger becomes out of control, and the people who are around you become the victims of that out-of-control metastasizing anger that comes as a result of a failure to forgive some offense some time ago. You entertain constantly thoughts for revenge.

You become desperate about the fact that you wish the worst on the person that you will not forgive. Every conversation becomes another forum for your ugliness, for your hostility, for your criticism, for your defamation, for your slander; and eventually it morphs into all kinds of exaggerations and lies about the reality of that person; and you have passed on your own life a death sentence of bitterness and anger that will follow you to the grave.”

Unfortunately, we live in a culture that is prone toward unforgiveness. Vengeance and retaliation often predominate in our society rather than forgiveness. This is because of the propensity of the human heart to keep a “record of wrongs” (1 Cor 13:5). As result, wrongs accumulate and people in general tend to grow bitter toward those who have offended them. Thus, as believers, we must fight the impulses of unforgiveness that well up in our hearts.

For the believer, almost no concept is more important to the Christian faith than forgiveness. The Gospel itself is a message about God’s forgiveness, and Christ’s teaching was full of exhortations to His people to be forgiving to one another. He set an incredibly high standard, teaching us to forgive even the most stubborn offenders”. The assumption in Scripture is that we will offend each other. The expectation in Scripture is that we will forgive each other. Therefore, we must honestly evaluate ourselves and be aware of the risk of self-deception…we all want to think of ourselves as forgiving people. But we must admit that we are all too prone to nurse offenses and withhold forgiveness. We must regularly ask ourselves: Is there any bitterness or unforgiveness in my life toward another person?

TO FORGIVE IS TO BE LIKE GOD.

One of the greatest attributes of God is that He is a forgiving God Exodus 34:6-7, "Then the LORD passed by in front of him and proclaimed, “The LORD, the LORD God, compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in lovingkindness and truth; who keeps lovingkindness for thousands, who forgives iniquity, transgression and sin; yet He will by no means leave the guilty unpunished, visiting the iniquity of fathers on the children and on the grandchildren to the third and fourth generations."

Psalm 32:2, "How blessed is the man to whom the LORD does not impute iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no deceit!"

Psalm 103:1-3, "Bless the LORD, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless His holy name. Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget none of His benefits; Who pardons all your iniquities, Who heals all your diseases;"

Psalm 130:3-4, "If You, LORD, should mark iniquities, O Lord, who could stand? But there is forgiveness with You, That You may be feared."

Daniel 9:9, "To the Lord our God belong compassion and forgiveness, for we have rebelled against Him."

Micah 7:18, "Who is a God like You, who pardons iniquity and passes over the rebellious act of the remnant of His possession? He does not retain His anger forever, Because He delights in unchanging love."

Luke 15:11-32, "The Parable of the Prodigal Son (or better The Parable of the Forgiving Father)."

Ephesians 1:7, "In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace."

1 John 1:9, "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

Forgiveness reflects the character of God. Thus, we might say that we are most like God when we forgive…forgiveness is the most Godlike act a person can do….no act is more divine than forgiveness. If we are going to be imitators of God (Eph 5:1), then we must imitate God in how He forgives those who offend Him. On the contrary, we are never more like Satan than when we are angry, bitter and unwilling to forgive.