The Fruit Of Gentleness Series

Bill Hybels, the popular pastor of the Willow Creek Community Church, one of the fastest

growing churches in America, admits that he is not a tender hearted person. By nature he is often

cold, hardhearted, and indifferent to the hurting world around him. In his book Who Are You

When No One's Looking, he tells of how he and his wife went to see the movie Sophie's Choice. It

was a heavy drama where Sophie had to decide which of her two children she would hand over to

the Nazi officer, for sure incineration. He was thinking he would like another box of popcorn, but

he noticed his wife was sobbing. She cried through the rest of the movie. As they walked to the car

he knew it was no time to crack jokes. It was a day and a half later when she said to him, "I want to

tell you why I was so upset at the movie. I was picturing having Todd in one arm and Shawn in the

other, and having 30 seconds to choose which one was going to live and which one was going to die.

How in the world could I ever make that choice?" Pastor Hybels did not understand that, for he did

not get into the skin of the actor and feel the emotion. His wife did, and she identified with the

emotional turmoil.

His wife is tenderhearted and she can empathize with others, and feel what they feel when they

hurt. He, on the other hand, is hardhearted and does not let the pain and tears of others bother him.

All people tend to fall into one or the other of these categories. He sees it in his own children. His 6

year old son will burst into tears when he sees a house plant die. His 9 year old daughter thinks he is

silly, and she could whack one to pieces with no sense of remorse. His good friend had to put his

dog to sleep, and it was torture. After they took the dog to the vet, he sat in the car for a long time

to regain composure, before he returned to work. His brother said, "Why didn't you bring him to

me. I could have knocked it over the head and taken care of it-no problem." Here were two brothers

raised in the same family and environment, yet one is tenderhearted and the other hardhearted.

The whole point of Pastor Hybels sharing this is, that he, as a hardhearted Christian, knows he

must be all the more surrendered to the Holy Spirit to produce the fruit of gentleness, for it just does

not grow in him by nature. Tenderhearted people by nature are more gentle, but Christians like

himself need to constantly rely on the Spirit to have a kind and gentle spirit toward hurting people.

This is his honest confession-

"If we harder-hearted Christians are honest, we have to admit that our tough approach can do damage.

We kid people that we shouldn't kid, and when they get hurt we say, 'Can't you take a joke?' We don't

listen to other people very well. Usually while they are talking to us we are either making unrelated

plans or mentally responding to what they are saying. We wonder why many people are so weak and

timid. We use people and dispose of them unceremoniously when they have served our purposes.

Although we may not realize it, others tell us we act superior. We love to be right, to compete and

especially to win. If the truth were known, we secretly view tenderhearted people as emotional

weaklings or psycho-logical misfits. We don't understand them."

He knows a lot of Christians who are like that, but he recognizes that this is not Christ like, and

such Christians, like himself, must not relate to other people according to their fleshly nature, but

according to the nature of the Spirit. He is not like the comedian who says, "I am very health

conscious. I'm lazy and out of shape, but I'm very conscious of it." He is not just conscious of his

lack of a gentle spirit, he works hard at letting the Spirit produce this fruit in him.

This fruit of gentleness has a host of English words that translators have used to convey its

meaning. Some of them are, moderation, humility, forbearance, courtesy, considerateness,

meekness, kindness, and sweet reasonableness. We see the spirit of gentleness in the way Jesus dealt

with the despised sinners of His day. Zaccheaus was hated as a tax collector, but Jesus treated him

with consideration, and gave him a chance to express himself. The Pharisees were ready to stone the

woman taken in adultery, but Jesus was gentle and did not blast her even with verbal stones, but forgave