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The Essentials Of A Happy Marriage Series
Contributed by W F on Jun 12, 2005 (message contributor)
Summary: If you want a phenomenal family start building a phenomenal marriage! (Part 4 Building Phenomenal Families)
BUILDING PHENOMENAL FAMILIES (Part 4)
Three Essentials for a Happy Marriage (Ephesians 5:21-33)
“This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman, because she was taken out of man.” (Genesis 2:23).
A. COMMITTED LOVE
Commitment is important because at some point every relationship, including marriage, will be TESTED BY HARDSHIP.
“In this world you will have trouble.” (John 16:33).
“... those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this” (1 Cor. 7:28).
A marriage needs commitment mainly because FEELINGS COME AND GO.
Proverbs 14:30 says, “A sound mind makes for a robust body, but runaway feelings corrode the bones.”
B. CONSISTENT COMMUNICATION
In his book “Love Life,” Dr. Ed Wheat gives these simple hints for husbands and wives about communicating effectively with each other.
First to the wives he gives these suggestions:
(1) Never repeat to anyone else the things your husband tells you in private.
(2) Give your husband your total enthusiastic attention and listen with interest while he becomes more comfortable in expressing himself (It’s not natural for most men).
(3) Do not interrupt him or come to conclusions about what he is saying.
(4) Acknowledge that you understand even if you disagree, and repeat his thoughts and feelings back to him so that he is sure you understand. Don’t let your disagreements sound like disapproval.
To husbands he gives these suggestions for communicating with their wives;
(1) Spend time together alone really listening to your wife because you want to understand her better. Of course this means turning the TV off!
(2) Look at your wife and move close to her while you are talking.
(3) Plan times when you will be uninterrupted and then give her the gift of your interested attention.
(4) Pay attention to your wife when other people are around. This will mean more to her than you know.
Ed Wheat closes with this statement. “Because women usually feel more need to talk than men, husbands should learn that they can love their wives just by listening. I mean really listening: concentration accompanied by eye contact.”
In Deuteronomy 24:5 the Lord tells us that a man has a clear responsibility to “bring happiness to the wife he has married.” Men it is your responsibility to cheer your wife up.
C. A CHRIST CENTERED-HOME
Psalm 127 says, “Unless the LORD builds the house, It’s builders labor in vain.”
Hebrews 3:3-4 says, “Jesus has been found worthy of greater honor than Moses, just as the builder of a house has greater honor than the house itself. For every house is built by someone, but God is the builder of everything.”
TWO REASONS A MARRIAGE NEEDS JESUS
1. Jesus supplies a marriage with SUPERNATURAL POWER. Something as difficult as marriage needs a supernatural source of power to keep it glued together.
2. A marriage needs Jesus Christ is because he supplies a marriage with DIVINE LOVE.
1 John 4:7 says, “Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God.”
Ephesians 5:25 says, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”
2 Corinthians 6:14 warns against marrying someone who does not believe in Christ. It says, “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?”
CONCLUSION
But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well (Matthew 6:33).
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